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Memoirs of a Miko
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Fear. Anger. Control. The holy trinity timeless as the world itself. Indeed, it has never been power that bewitched the mind, but fear. Fear, after all, only lives in a man's thoughts and many a man has fallen prey to the fear of the unknown. Nothing is more terrifying than realizing the world is ruled by the forces of chance and circumstance. That knowledge above all others strikes fear into the hearts of men and they desperately try to claw back their power through any means necessary even at the cost of everything they hold dear.
Kagome's fear was never having a choice in life and her anger was due to the fact that her fear was completely justified. Unlike so many others, however, she kept her righteous anger from the world as she hid behind the false smile, permanently plastered on her face. Smiling as she tried to find meaning by helping others. Smiling while being kind even when kindness was undeserved. Smiling while hiding her anger behind sarcasm and humor. Smiling as the world crumbled to dust around her. Smiling despite her life not being her own.
Her Father was motivated by fear of poverty. Like Kagome, his fear was also justified, as a life of utter destitution was the only life he had ever known. Also like Kagome, his fear led to anger. He took his anger primarily out on her mother. It wasn't uncommon to see her sporting a fresh black eye or to learn she'd broken yet another bone. As if the physical beatings weren't enough, he controlled every aspect of her life. Heaven forbid she buy anything or not complete the chore of dinner before the sun had set.
Recently, Father had taken to controlling his children as well and had summoned them home from the Temple where she had been training to become a miko. The temple where she had formerly trained was ancient - sitting high and pretty with its jade and gold encrusted turrets atop that ocean-side cliff. Hidden from sight by powerful barriers. One could easily spot the Village that was home in the far distance - the look of sheer poverty somehow more striking when one could see glittering cities alongside it. It was a slum to use the vulgar vernacular. A slum of uneducated fisherman and freedmen without enough money to venture beyond the confines of their figurative prison. Mired in this pit of despair, Father sold them out as brides to the highest bidder, partially out of desperation but mostly out of indifference.
It was their fault the world was going to hell in a handbasket. That the Village was so desperately destitute. Not the villagers but the Royal Fortress to the East. The demons to the East controlled the world with an iron fist and fear was the fuel on which the empire ran. Like so many before them, they were of the opinion that it was better to be feared than loved. An amalgamation of animal and man they came in many shapes and forms but one belief above all others united them. They believed themselves to be gods over men.
On orders of these demons, human women were routinely snatched from their homes to become part of their harem. Those overlords weren't picky as they targeted the rich and poor alike. Anyone they deemed a threat were burned alive in public displays - their carcasses left for months on end as a visible warning to anyone who defied them. In retaliation for protests against these callous actions, the demon overlords used every weapon in their arsenal. Withholding provisions, stifling trade and massacring thousands right and left. That ominous fortress to the East and those who lived there used fear to control the world so that angry citizens wouldn't take their power away.
A thousand years ago or perhaps even before, the demons were seen as more animal than human, barbarians that lived on the edges of civilization. They kept to themselves as did the humans and neither cared to interact. Then, supposedly, a god appeared and everyone began working together to create a new world. A better world.
Trade flourished. Harvest was plentiful. The world was a thriving and prosperous kingdom. Now that centuries old prejudice was back full force creating the division once more. Humans were now seen as the barbarians and thus punished for the sin of existing. The once revered spiritual men and women lived in hiding. Their days filled with training the younger generations for the inevitable war on the horizon while the rest of the world went to the dogs. Children starved in their beds because there wasn't enough food to go around, and an almost palpable fear permeated every aspect of every citizen's lives. The men at least could complain! Even amongst miko, women were expected to follow orders, not to give them. The expectation of women was to follow the example of their ancestors, tend to hearth and home, and above all else, with the gods' blessing, to be a vessel for breeding masculine children. Women weren't allowed to have an opinion, so Kagome suffered in silence.
Ever since she had been summoned home, though Kagome was mostly forced to sit around idly with her miserable, and increasingly morose family, there was one person who could provide brief moments of contentment. One ray of sunshine that pierced the ubiquitous gloom hanging over the highly dysfunctional family. It was her sister Kikyo. She was older than Kagome by several years yet still too young to be roped into the arranged marriage their father had contracted for them. Not by societal standards – just in Kagome's own personal opinion.
Apparently a set of twin brothers were seeking a matching set of women. Despite not being true twins, the sisters were nearly identical in both looks and stature.Their matching blue eyes, sleek ebony hair and flawless porcelain skin were truly a thing to behold. They were both slight of build, and rather short compared to other women in the village. It was like looking in a mirror…of course, mirrors were prohibitively expensive, so they had only ever seen their reflections in the sea or in a pot of water beginning to boil. But their Mother always like to joke that she never knew which one she was getting ready for a whipping until the deed was about to be done and Kagome's birthmark on the back of her leg was exposed. Despite these similarities, they were very different people. Night and day. Oil and water.
Kagome was as wild and unbroken as any stallion but also kind, gentle and forgiving to a fault. Many villagers were of the opinion that whomever tamed her would need to be an extraordinary gentleman. Kikyo, on the other hand, was of the opinion that the perfect partner for her beloved sister would be a man who could accept that such a spirit shouldn't and most likely would never be broken.
Kikyo was quiet, demure and would make an excellent wife. Until you didn't follow the rules of course. Everything was about rules. She didn't care for romance only stability and structure. She craved it like she craved air and water. Yes, rules were her religion, her law and she worshipped them with utter devotion. When she was younger, she often would bawl hysterically when her little sister didn't follow the rules. Rules as asinine and harmless as wearing shoes inside their humble abode - that had dirt floor, by the way, same as outside - or sneaking a tiny morsel of fresh bread from the hearth without permission. Rules were the law. They were made for a reason. Even if it was a stupid one.
Still, despite their differences, the sisters were relieved that wherever they were being sent, they were being sent together. Small comfort though that may be. Traditionally, mikos weren't supposed to marry or bear children. Which always seemed odd to Kagome as often times villagers would bemoan the fact that spiritual men and women weren't as common as they once were. They blamed the decline on the young men and women not being as chaste and pure as they had been in the past. It never seemed to occur to anyone that perhaps it was the ban on breeding that was preventing an influx of new babies with these powers. Which was a family trait. Passed down from one generation to the next. Naturally, it couldn't possibly be due to the fact that they weren't breeding any longer. Despite all reason, however, fear of losing their precious mikos and priests that had protected humanity were now prohibited from doing the very thing that provided for future generations. Most citizens aggressively fought for measures to safeguard their saviors' sacred virginity. Such things were tradition after all! Still, despite tradition, the two sisters trained in that noble art were to be wed and forced to bear children by men they'd never met. Same as their mother before them and that, in itself, wasn't exactly a comforting thought.
Given her recent lot in life, today Kagome had decided to try to forget the world and its problems. She wandered off by herself to her own personal sanctuary. Sitting with her bare feet buried in the sand and sighing as she looked out on the remote alcove she had frequented lately to escape from her suffocating home. There was something comforting in the tips of shells peek from holes made by little creatures seeking shelter. Those small dunes of grimy grey sand soon to be soaked by the sea gradually creeping its way further onto shore were so beautiful in her eyes. The white ribbon of cliffs and rocks protected her from reality. A small piece of heaven in hell. Closing her sapphire eyes, she invited in the quiet whisper of waves and enjoyed the light kisses from the occasional breeze that sent tingling sensations through her body.
"I knew I'd find you here. Father told me to stop packing for the journey tomorrow," came a weary resigned breathy voice from directly behind her – causing her to jump involuntarily as she whipped her head around to see the intruder on her solitude. With an air of grace that her sister could never hope to achieve, Kikyo sat down on the cold, damp sand and pulled her knees tightly against her chest as she continued, "Apparently, wherever they're sending us will have new clothes custom ordered for us. Anything we own would be inappropriate attire."
"I don't understand how Father got in contact with these people. He won't even give us their names or the city they live in," Kagome chuckled darkly as she pulled the soft grey shawl a little tighter around her shoulders and adjusted herself to face her sister rather than the seashore, "To be honest, I doubt anyone is coming at all."
"I wouldn't say that," Kikyo chided gently as she rested her chin atop her knees, "Did you see that man who arrived earlier? With that wooden crate? Apparently, Sota looked inside and it's filled to the brim with gold coins. It has to be the dowry. I'm sure of it."
"Well I don't like the idea of being sold," Kagome huffed in frustration as she began angrily stuffing the loose ebony strands that had fallen out of her long intricate braid back in their proper places, "I'd very much prefer if I could fall in love. Instead, I'm being shipped off to marry some stranger I've never laid eyes on. I go from one terrible life to the next without ever having a say in the matter."
"We're not being sold, Kagome. Don't think of it that way. It's just...well, women don't get to choose who or when they marry. Not here," Kikyo sighed as she shrugged indifferently, "If we hadn't been in training, we'd've been married off years ago. We're fortunate anyone still wants to marry us at all."
"We're not that old. I'm fifteen," Kagome groaned as she flopped down onto the sand - much to her sister's horror - and began making sand angels, "We still have our whole lives ahead of us. So what if most women here get married at fourteen? What's a few years compared to a lifetime?"
"Well bearing children is a factor," Kikyo mused as her lips twitched upwards at her sister's childish antics, "They'll expect at least three I imagine."
"Lovely," Kagome scoffed bitterly as she ceased her playful movements and lay her hands palm upwards on the sand, "Why not just assume ten or twelve? I'll just pop out one baby a year until I'm forty. That's….that's..."
"The answer you're looking for would be twenty five," Kikyo supplied as she chuckled lightly and shook her head, "You never did pay attention to the Master. I believe it was a certain someone who at the wise age of twelve declared herself to be educated enough and spent her days harnessing her powers rather than focus on useless reading and numbers."
"Well I got the looks and you got the brains so I'll call it a draw," Kagome teased as she lolled her head towards her sister and continued in a playfully pleading tone, "You sure you don't want to just make a run for it? We can use what we've learned to live our best lives. Just you and me being mercenaries. Just imagine it! Fighting bad guys. Daring rescues of damsels in distress. Showing men their place instead of the other way around. "
"Ah, yes. Me. A mercenary. Whatever could go wrong," Kikyo responded sarcastically she rolled her eyes, "One day the guilt would get to me and I'd turn myself in. Then what would you do?"
"Break into the prison and set you free," Kagome sighed happily as her lips twitched upwards – her eyes fluttering closed as she moved her hands to rest atop her stomach, "Then keep doing it year after year because I imagine you'd do it again and again. It'd become a tradition. Once a year, I'd break you out of prison."
"That...that sounds perfect actually. Absolutely perfect. Except it would never work. I could do with abandoning father but I couldn't bear to know that Mother and Sota were hurt because of us. You know how Father is," Kikyo sighed as she looked out over at the brownish waters with a sad longing, "There's nothing for us to do but accept our reality. I'll miss being so near the ocean though."
For a long moment, the two sat in comfortable silence. The gentle crashing of waves sailing on the breeze and the occasional birdsong that came so sweetly, it might as well have been softly spun sugar. Sweet salt air filled the sails of the fishermen's boats passing by, fluttering their flags and pushing them further down the coast. For a moment, Kagome could forget all her troubles as she grinned and stretched out a single bare hand to feel the moist air wrap around her fingers.
"Maybe we could take them with us," Kagome finally offered thoughtfully as she slowly lowered her hand and the smile faded from her heart shaped face, "The four of us off on an adventure."
"Mother would never leave and Sota is only here on sabbatical from training. Next year he won't have that option. He'll be off and then we won't get to see him until he reaches majority," Kikyo pointed out as she nervously played with her hand in her lap, "Just because you hated training doesn't mean he does."
"You hated it too I might point out but you were more willing to go along with their warped propaganda. Don't throw this on me. Besides we might not to get to see him ever again regardless of whether we marry these mysterious strangers or not," the younger sister pointed out a little more harshly than she intended, "We'll probably be kept at home and chained like chattel."
"It won't be that bad," Kikyo chided gently as she watched the orange sun dip low on the horizon, "You'll see. Everything will work out. I'm sure of it."
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The waves of the harbor came day and night, creating music better than the most elaborate symphonies written by the masters. The harbor creaked in time with boats on waves and gulls filled the air with beating wings and cries. The sounds of the boats as they bobbed and creaked, tugging on their moorings to the piers. The ocean never tired, never missed a beat, and through brilliant days and darkest nights the percussion of the shore kept on - a lullaby for anyone and everyone. It was music to her ears. Oh how she would miss it.
Above the shore are the soft brown colored houses complete with thatch roofs, clustered in like old friends reassured by their closeness. If it was up to her, Kagome never leave this place despite the abject poverty but as it turned out, her life wasn't hers to own.
As the men came down the pier towards her and her sister, the two sisters merely stared and remained where they were as though frozen to the spot. These men….there was something in their eyes that foretold of nothing but pain in their future.
"Father?!" Kagome cried out as she spotted her father watching from a short distance up the pebbled beach, "FATHER?!"
The fact that he didn't acknowledge her in any way told her all she needed to know. That large trunk of gold wasn't a dowry at all.
They'd been sold after all.
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"They only need the one," one of the men hissed as they continued down the path – the two women in tow tied by their hands and being forcibly dragged behind the cart like cattle, "Which one you like bettah?"
"The older one," the other man laughed – shadows from their torch illuminate his pock marked face and missing teeth, "I haven't had me a virgin in quite some time."
"Can't do nothing until we see which one they want," the other man cackled, "A gift they supposed to be."
"I didn't realize demons were sentimental," the disfigured man laughed once before hacking slightly and coughing up an impressive amount of mucus into his hand which he merely wiped on his already filthy pants, "Figures."
"They look the same," the other, slightly younger man sighed as he glanced over his shoulders at the pair, "Well, one of them seems to have more spunk than the other but other than that."
"I like spunk," the disfigured man snorted as he reached down to itch his crouch, "Maybe I'll take that one."
"No, not until they pick one," the other man groaned before licking his lips, "They didn't say nothing though about trying the goods. Women got more than one hole to try."
"That is true," the disfigured man chuckled before turning around from his seat in the cart, "Oi! What your names?"
"Fuck you!" the younger of the two screamed angrily as she set her jaw and narrowed her eyes. The older woman merely stared sadly at her sister before turning her face to look up at the two men, "If you're trying to decide between the two of us, pick me. It's no use. I have already bedded a male. I have no value."
"Son of a bitch!" the disfigured man cursed as he halted the cart and jumped down, "Old man lied to us. Two virgins. Two! That's what we paid for."
"A man who sells his daughters into slavery is not someone I would ever believe told the truth a day in his life," the older woman spoke quietly as she defiantly met his irate gaze, "So like I said, if you're choosing one of us to defile. Pick me. The choice is clear."
In all honesty, Kagome was too much in shock to even process what her sister Kikyo was saying much less raise a single word in her defense. It was lies. All of it was lies. Why the hell would she say such a thing? As Kikyo met her wide eyed gaze with a sad look of her own, it all made perfect sense. Her sister, her older sister, was sacrificing herself so that her baby sister might live.
"NO! KIKYO! NO!" Kagome screamed hysterically as her internal pause button suddenly released, "DON'T YOU TOUCH HER! NO! NO! NO!"
If anything, her screams merely increased their captors' amusement as they began circling the two girls – each laughing mirthlessly as Kagome tried to shield her sister with her body.
"It's pointless girly," the pock marked man hissed cruelly, "And if she's already had a man, there ain't no point in getting our own asses whipped when we get there. Better to show up with one than with spoiled goods."
"She's not though," Kagome cried out desperately, "She's lying. I don't know why but she's lying."
"Kagome hush," came Kikyo's quiet voice, "I heard them talking. They were going to force one of us anyway."
"No, please don't," Kagome pleaded as the men began their advance – her voice breaking as they came closer, "Please?"
"What's the meaning of this?!" came a voice from up the way followed by the sound of multiple horses, "We come to collect the girls and we find you sending them into a frenzy?!"
"Well if it ain't Naraku! You old dog! We just having some fun is all," one of the men called back as he waved, "We ain't gunna do nothing. We just want what we're due."
"Yeah, what you are due is not a plaything," Naraku hissed as he and his men came to a half in front of the carriage, "Only I get that when it's all said and done."
As the man slid off his horse, he approached the two girls with a speculative eye. The one was strong willed, and feisty. She'd be enjoyable to break in but given who the gift was intended for, she was the obvious option
"What's your name?" he asked coldly of the clearly older one whose mouth merely formed a thin line in reply while the other one merely growled, "Be quick girl."
"Kikyo and this is my younger sister, Kagome," the elder sister replied coolly, "And who might you be?"
"Advisor to the general, not that it's any of your concern," the man replied as his lips twitched upwards and he turned towards his men, "Take the younger one. Kill the other and do what you will with the corpse."
"Wait, what?!" Kagome screamed hysterically as she turned and tried to cover her sister with her body, "No. No. No."
The rope holding the struggling sister was cut away and as she was forcibly yanked away, the last thing she saw was a man with a sword approaching Kikyo who proudly remained where she stood, fully committed to going out with her pride intact.
Even the passage of the light slowed and the sounds became as if underwater as the man raised his sword. Aside from the beat of Kagome's heart, no muscle would move. That pounding inside beat a rhythm to the sight of her sister's execution. The cold steel entered as if she was made of nothing, just meat, blood bones, a cavity appearing in her back and chest as crimson burst forth into the fading day. Her face, so beautiful in life was frozen, eyes open, mouth slack, as she was propelled backward. Kikyo's eyes held Kagome's grief stricken ones. In those fractions of seconds she was there and then gone, the warmth of the ages that had been her love simply vanished.
The strength from Kagome's legs gave out as she crumpled to the mud below – staring numbly at the sight before her. Everything she had ever known was now gone forever - her father, mother, brother selling her like she was nothing. The one person who still loved her struck down. Her life would never be the same again.
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"So, tomorrow is a very special day," a tall, silver haired man chuckled as he approached his brother - his amber eyes sparkling menacingly as he crossed the large ornate hall, "Your promotion will be announced and I've arranged for a surprise for you as well."
"What type of surprise?" Inuyasha replied wearily - his ears twitching in annoyance as he folded his arms across his chest, "I swear, if I find another girl naked in my room..."
"I merely want you to enjoy yourself," the daiyoukai chuckled lightly - a smug grin playing on his lips, "And after all the trouble and capital I spent on producing her, at least keep this one as a servant."
"I don't enjoy raping innocent women," the half-demon hissed angrily as he narrowed his amber eyes and his hand gripped the hilt of his sword tightly, "I'd say keep her yourself but that'd haunt me too."
"If you don't want her, I can gladly arrange for her to be sent elsewhere," Sesshomaru taunted knowingly, "Naraku has his eyes on this one."
"Does he now?" Inuyasha responded wearily - the thought of whatever poor girl being subjected to that bastard's sick desires already grating at his instincts. At least, if he were to get her, she wouldn't be tortured to death.
"Fine, I'll take her. Whatever," Inuyasha responded after several minutes with a heavy sigh before adding with unmistakable bite, "Thanks. Your kindness never ceases to astound me."
"All I ask is that you let me have a round with her once you're done," the daiyoukai replied casually before adding with a dark chuckle, "A miko is a prize indeed."
"You gave me a fucking miko?! Are you insane?!" Inuyasha shouted back angrily as his mouth fell open in disbelief, "You trying to get me killed?!"
"Not at all," the daiyoukai replied with a derogative snort, "She is untrained. I doubt very seriously she could manage any type of attack, much less purify you."
Narrowing his eyes, Inuyasha growled before turning to storm down the hall. It didn't matter anyway. He'd set her free the second he saw her - just like all the others.