A Night In The Bushes
by Paige Collins and Meghan
Authors note(s): We love Harry Potter. And this our first non- Draco fic! MWPP rules... oh...
"Mwa-ha-ha-ha!" Sirius cackled madly. "Mwa-ha-ha-ha!"
Lily stared at him. "What's wrong?"
"Mwa-ha. Mwa-ha."
"You aren't making any sense, Sirius. Is something wrong?"
"Everything is right. Nothing is wrong." Sirius paused. "Isn't this going to be the best day of our lives?"
"The best," agreed James and Peter and Remus nodded. "Everything is right in the world."
Lily bit her lip and felt the strange feeling like something was up. "Are...are you sure nothing is...up?"
All of them stared at Lily nervously. "What?" Lily asked, looking slightly alarmed. "What is it?"
They were all quiet. "Is something wrong? You can tell me, you know." Lily thought for a second. "Oh, my...oh, no...oh, no. You guys...you didn't...did you? You didn't?" She looked from James, to Peter, to Sirius and then to Remus, who all had slightly demented grins across their face. "Where is it? Where's the body?"
"Body?" snorted Remus, nudging Sirius in the chest, who was about to answer Lily's question. "Body...haha, it's funny, because...because there isn't any body." He looked at all the others. "Isn't there not a body?"
James smiled wickedly. "No," he said to Lily. "There is not a body here." He pulled his jacket open, exposing his shirt. "See, Lily? No body."
"Techincally, there is a body involved..." Peter said weakly and shrugged.
"Hahaha!" James cried suddenly. "Haha. What a kidder. There is not a body involved, is there Peter? Peter, there isn't a body?"
"Nope. Not a, uh, body here."
Sirius coughed, which sounded a lot like "Snape."
Lily gasped. "You killed Snape?"
"NO!" James cried. "We're going to."
"Shut up," Sirius said. "I'm thinking about it." He paused. "James! She wasn't supposed to know, you -"
Remus rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, Lily, there is no body involved."
Sirius smiled. "But she doesn't exactly know that, does she?"
"Okay, there isn't," said Peter finally, looking at Lily's worried look.
"We just wanted to arouse him..." said Sirius.
"That did not sound right," said James, wrinkling his brow.
"Ugh," muttered Peter. He took his jacket off and threw it at him.
"Put it back on..." Remus said, scooting over.
"Amen brother," muttered Sirius.
"Jesus!" chanted James swaying. He put his arm around Lily and a very disgruntled looked Peter and swayed them.
"Okay, let's be serious," said Remus.
"What?"
"Huh?" asked James.
"Who?"
"Whom?"
"GAH!" yelled Lily. "I'm confused."
"Don't worry," Peter assured her. "I am too."
"What?" asked Sirius, who had been thinking about Snape's death, was confused. "What are you talking about?"
"Nothing," Peter said quietly, lowering his head.
They were all quiet.
*~*
"Hehehehehehehe!" giggled Sirius, covering his mouth from the sudden burst of laughter. "I'm...I'm gonna go on myself, I promise I will!"
"Not if I get there first," James snickered, trying not to "go on himself."
"You are both so nasty," Lily snorted, looking away in disgust.
Sirius snorted defensively. "Hey, girl, when you got to go, you got to go."
"But in the appropriate place," she said.
"Enough," moaned Peter, who was looking slightly green. "Okay, to change the subject, when does Snape come in? I mean, I'd do anything to see it, but we shouldn't stick around."
"Hey, Wormtail's right," said Sirius. "I mean, seriosuly -hehe!-um, we could get in trouble. But somehow...I knew trouble would..."
"Shut up!" Remus hissed. "Listen...I hear foosteps..."
"Please be Snape, please be Snape, please be Snape..." Sirius whispered. "Oh, please be Snape..."
"Why do you, of all people, want it to be Snape?" Lily said, a disgusted look across her face. "I mean, ew..."
"Who's being gross now?" Sirius said. "I'm not that way, Jaaaaaames..." He leaned against him.
"Get off me!" James said, pushing Sirius in the bushes, who crashed into Peter and Peter let out a startled cry.
"Shhhh!" Remus and Lily said together and James and Sirius began to giggle loudly, even though Sirius's hand hurt.
"Get off my foot, Peter," James said, snatching his foot out from under Peter. Peter fell back and landed on Remus and Remus knocked into Lily. Lily was in the worst of it and Sirius tried to help her up.
When she'd gotten into a crouching position, Sirius kiddingly put his arm around Lily.
"Hey!" she cried and hit Sirius on the hand and he drew it back as though he'd been burned. He began to whimper.
"Hey! Don't hit my Sirius!" James said defensively, jumping in front of Sirius and knocked him over.
"Ow," Sirius moaned. "That hurt, James."
James grinned hard.
They were silent. All except for the occasinal rustle and the sound of...
"Stop breathing, James," Sirius said. "You're too loud."
"I'll die."
"Shuuut up," Remus groaned.
"Say the magic word," Sirius said in a sing-song voice.
Everyone then looked at him. "What? I want him to be polite when talking to me."
"Wouldn't that be 'talking to I?' no, no, wait, no it wouldn't," said James.
Remus bit his lip and shook his head, but said nothing and continued to look through the tangle of tiny branches that made up bushes.
No one said anything.
"Do you think it'll work?" Peter asked anxiously. "I mean, we all are here at 12 at night outside of wherever Snape is supposed to be. You don't think he was there when Sirius and James went before we got here." He looked at them.
"Yeah," Lily said slowly. She hit James on the head. "Couldn't you have held it? And you said you'd go on yourself!"
"I needed to again and so did Sirius," James said matter-of-factly. "Besides, you can never use the bathroom enough."
"You're sick."
They were silent. "You do think he's still wherever he was?"
Remus shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe. What if he knew our plan and didn't really go anywhere? I mean, he can't really go anywhere..."
All of gasped.
"That little..." Sirius said. ("Sirius!" Lily gasped.) "Nice pointing out job, Remus, when its too late!" He then said another curse word. "Little filthly little...deserves to die..." He said another word through clenched teeth.
"It's okay," Lily said quickly. "It probably would have him."
"That was the...point," said a very angry Sirius, who then kicked Remus. "Thanks, genius, for pointing that out!!!"
"Hey!" Remus cried, grabbing his knee. "That was no fun!"
"WAS IT AIMED TO BE FUN?!"
"Sirius, your voice," Lily hissed. "Seriously...pardon the pun. Calm down. We might only get a slight punishment."
Sirius tried to calm down. "Thats it, man, deep breaths...haha," James said.
Sirius bit his lip hard, so hard blood came out. "Okay...okay, I'm calm." He took a deep breath. "I am calm and I am so going to kill Snape!"
"Oh, well," Lily said and yawned. "I'm getting tired. Let's go back. Now."
"Are you nuts, child?" Sirius cried. "Go back? How the heck do you supposed we get in, sneak in, without being noticed?"
"I don't know, it was only a thought. Goodness."
"We could..."
"I mean, seriously (it's getting old) but, what were you thinking? I was aiming at things that are possible."
"It's possible," Lily said. "I'm...I'm sure there is a way to sneak back in. We sneaked out, right? We can sneak in."
"But did you notice all the stress? The nervousness? The creepy feeling...no, way, I'm not sneaking in."
"Guys..." Peter said. "We could..."
"Quiet," snapped Sirius. "Now, Lily, how do you propse we do this?"
"We could just be reeeal quiet," she suggested brightly.
"Quiet? Quiet?" James said, horrified. "We can't be quiet, we're boys, we're nosiy. It's like telling us we can't live, we can't eat, we can't breathe, we can't date girls..."
They all were quiet.
"We could stay here," said Peter quickly. "We could..."
They were all quiet. "You know, we could..." Remus said. "Only, we haven't got anything to sleep under. No blankets, no pillows, no food..."
"Food?" Lily said anxiously. "Food? I can fix that." She rummaged her pocket for a moment and then pulled out a small brown bag. "Food."
"Food..." Peter said. "I'm starving, what do you have?"
Lily ignored. "Oh, and look! I have all my essentials. My lipstick, my hairbrush..."
"Since when is a hairbrush essential?" Sirius asked, pulling out a pocket comb and ran it through his hair. "Anway, what food do you have?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"Yum."
"Okay..." Lily said. "Here...I have these little cakes I made myself. I don't quite know what they are yet, but they're good. And here's brownies, 12 at least, they're good too. Here's some nuts, mixed nuts...I knew we'd get hungry waiting out here."
"This is great," Sirius said. He froze. "Too great. What's wrong with it? Poisoned?"
Remus choked and spit out some of the brownie he'd been eating. "Poison?"
Peter shrugged. "Oh, well, food is food." He shoved a brownie whole in his mouth.
"Agreed," James said, taking a tiny nibble off of a unknown cake. "Okay, good by me."
Lily groaned. "I know its too convinient. I mean, when I get grown, our children will probably be sick of it."
"Our children?" James said.
"Our children?" Sirius asked. "Oooh..."
"Mmm...shut up...mmm, I'm only moaning cause this is good," he said. Remus rolled his eyes and said, "Right."
"I'm serious," James said.
"Huh? I'm Sirius!" Sirius said. "You're stealing my name! Name stealer!"
Lily rolled her eyes. "How immature can you get?"
"This immature," Sirius giggled, shoved some large nuts in both nostrils and crossing his eyes.
Remus took a bite of his cake and swallowed. "Those'll get stuck one day."
Sirius snorted. "Eee. They already have."
Peter went pale. "Really?"
"Yeah, really," Sirius said. "If they were..." He took the nuts out. "Would I be that calm?"
"Nope." James shook his head. "You'd be screaming, 'Oh___! They're stuck! Oh, help! Oh, help! Ahhhhh!' That's what you'd be doing."
And then they ate in silence.
*~*
It was at least three hours after eating and it was three o' clock.
"Three, I'm guessing," Sirius said. "Three o' clock and alls well!"
"You hear something?" asked Peter.
"No, only the werewolves."
Remus shifted uncomfortably.
"I'm serious! I hear something. Wet, cold..." A very large rain drop landed on his head. "Oh__."
They grabbed they're jackets and built a make-shift tent with sticks.
"There aren't really werewolves are there?" asked Lily, snuggling closer to James.
"No," said Remus, quickly. "No... no. Not here. At least not here. I mean in these woods. I'm not talking about any others."
"You're babbling Remus."
Remus frowned. The night went on. Cold, and miserable. Peter managed to fall asleep.
James yawned. And then kicked Peter sharply for snoring.
"Uhhh, I'm tired," Sirius said, lying back beside everyone. "I think I'll take a small nap, yeah..."
Sirius was asleep within minutes, and so was Remus.
"Oh, great," Lily muttered. "They're all asleep."
James was silent for a moment. "Oh, oh. Yeah."
They were all quiet. "Isn't it...a lovely night?"
"Rain...cold...hungry (the cakes were good though) and I'm tired..."
"I didn't mean it to be...made fun of," she said quietly. "It isn't the condition of the way things are. It's the way things have been going. It's actually been quite fun."
James raised an eyebrow. "Gee...it has been fun, hasn't it?"
Lily nodded, occupied with staring out into space. "I'm gonna miss this, aren't you?"
"Miss it?" James laughed. "Not exactly."
They were quiet again.
"I do believe I'll go to bed."
"Huh?" James was caught off gaurd. "Oh, oh, yeah. Go ahead. I'm...I-'m not stopping you."
Then, with that, Lily went to sleep and James went to sleep right after she did.
Epilogue
*As told by Sirius*
Well, the next morning we woke up, no idea where we were. Then Peter told me where we were.
I felt bad. I felt as though it was my fault. But was I gonna say that? No.
So, wet and cold we walked back to Hogwarts hoping to face certain doom. I couldn't run away; I'm only fifteen.
And we were right. We got a weeks detetions and twenty points taken from our houses. Apeice.
So, as crazy as it sounds, I like it out there. With Remus acting spooky, and Lily and James getting a little... and Peter always grinding my nerves, I did have (slight) fun.
So our punishment wasn't that bad. I didn't care. What I really cared about was getting revenge on a certain Serverus Snape.
The morning we came back, the slimball was standing there smirking. I wish I could've gotten him right there.
But teachers all around. So, all I could do was stand there looking tough. Which was hard to do, considering my anger, and me lashing out ("Sirius, please curb your temper") I couldn't ever get proper revenge.
But, after some good plotting (Not his demise) we came up with an ingenius plan.
So tonight, Snape will be cozy.
Hope he likes the little present we left in his bed...