He can hear the sound of music coming from the room, a low hum likely coming from his laptop. Dean had grabbed it with out saying a word some time back and Sam was starting to get concerned. The music eased his worries that Dean was looking at porn again but it made him wonder just what the other was feeling.

Coming back from purgatory had obviously effected him. He seemed determined and withdrawn all at the same time. Refusing to talk about everything that happened in his time gone, changing the subject when Cas was mentioned.

Like he was avoiding something.

It's then he hears Dean's voice singing along with the track on the computer and everything clicks;

"Oh, you're in my veins, and I cannot get you out
Oh, you're all I taste, at night inside of my mouth
Oh, you run away, cause I am not what you found
Oh, you're in my veins, and I cannot get you out"

Turning the corner he looks at Dean, seeing his brother staring out the window as he sings along. It's not like that time he sung 'All out of love' out of pitch. This is…it has more feeling. More pain…

"You really loved him didn't you?" he keeps his voice low though Dean still jumps, startled.

"Fucking son of a bitch, Sam. You'd think for someone your size you'd make more noise. Do I need to put a freakin' collar and bell on you?" he catches himself before falling, the laptop too though the music has stopped.

"Answer the question."

He is refusing to meet Sam's eye though the younger knows he is weighing the pro's and con's. He can not exactly deny not hearing his little brother. Before Sam asks again he finally answers;

"Yeah…I did…I do alright? Have for a long time…He's out of my league though. Always has been. Too fuckin' good for me. Took you long enough to notice…Don't think Cas ever did…" an almost bitter laugh leaves him, holding his head between his legs. "Too fuckin' late now…"

Moving over he sat down next to him, resting a hand on the others back. "No it's not. You don't know that. He could still be alive. And if he is? We're getting him out."

Slowly Dean turned to look at him with the eyes of a man far older than he was. "I can hope so I guess…"