Author's note: DAY here. Okay, okay, I promised a couple people I'd write a FF8 fanfic (*ahemKOVahem*) so here it is. I'm sorta undecided about what to make the genres, and right now I'm probably stuck on action/adventure/angst, but romance will play a big part, later. And this is my first real fanfic, I've only posted original stories here before, so be prepared. :P

I use symbols a lot in my writing to express different points, or things that happen, so I'll put a key to the new ones I use in a chapter at the bottom of my Author's note on each chappy, just FYI so you're confused a little less. XD

This story is written in 1st person POV (duh!) but I like people to know what's going on in other people's heads, (hey, it's interesting to find out what's going on in other people's heads, trust me, I know!), so my chapters are interrupted periodically by diary entries that the other chars write. I suppose you don't have to read them, but hey they can be pretty interesting, or if you get confused by reading them then having to go back to Alisha's POV, then uh.just read them first, or something. Umm.yeah, ya get the idea. O_o

Yeah, uh.please review, and tell me what you think, cuz it's the only feedback I get on my writing and how to improve it. Constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated. ^_^

* text * = dream sequence - - text - - = Alisha's thoughts § text § = diary entry

Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 (I wish I did, though, that would be fun :- ) or any places or characters in the game etc, etc. that also counts for any copyrighted brand names, yada yada. yeah, you get the idea. All original characters belong to me though, so don't copy without asking, or I'll get mad. And you don't want to see me mad. KOV can vouch for that.

whew! See what happens when I start talking! Anyways, onto the fanfic.



Chapter 1 - Midnight Nightmares Lead to Disastrous Days

* It was a late afternoon on a bright, sunny, August day. A young man, 25 years of age, sat on a wooden bench outside a picturesque little house, playing with his daughter, almost one year old now. His long blonde hair was pulled back behind his head in the usual way; his black cowboy hat was set at the usual jaunty angle on his head. He hadn't changed a bit in the 8 years since the last major attempt to break the peace. Except for one thing: he was truly happy. He was married to the woman he loved, and he had a beautiful baby girl. He couldn't ask for more. He gazed down upon his daughter and smiled lovingly.

Just then, the front door slammed open, and a very disheveled looking young woman stormed out of the house.

"What's going on, Selph?"

The woman threw her bags at his feet and ran her fingers through her hair, a hue somewhere on the borderline between blonde and brown.

"Don't ask me what's going on, Irvine! You know exactly what's going on. And why, for that matter."

"What do you mean, Selphie?"

Selphie rolled her eyes and took something off her hand, put it in his and closed his fingers around it.

"Don't you get it? You never did understand. You were so blinded by your love for me that you never noticed that I didn't feel the same about you! But it's over now. I can't live like this anymore. I'm leaving you Irvine."

Irvine was speechless. Was this the same innocent Selphie that he had fallen in love with so long ago? The one woman that he had ever felt a real connection to? Was it true? Could he have been so blind?

"Then, why did you marry me?"

"Because.because I thought I loved you," Selphie whispered inaudibly.

"Oh, and you've found someone else now? Someone you love as much as you thought you loved me?" Irvine was having a hard time keeping the anger he felt out of his voice.

"Yes," Selphie's voice wavered, "I have."

She picked up her bags, and walked off to the car and drove away. What Irvine never saw were the tears running down her face. He slowly opened his hand and looked down at what she had placed there, knowing already what it would be. Two rings lay there; one a simple gold band, the other had a diamond twinkling up at him the afternoon sun. *

I sat bolt upright in bed and wiped some of the cold sweat off of my forehead.

- - Dammit, Mom. Why did you leave us? - - I thought to myself.



§ It happened again last night. I had that dream where I saw Mom leaving. I'm not going to tell Dad about it. It seems like his heart breaks every time I try and talk to him about Mom. And he would be worried about me, too. That's the third time I've had that dream this month.

What should I do? I want to know so badly about Mom, but I can't talk to Dad about it. Maybe I should go and see her myself. Oh God, I'm so confused.

Alisha §



BZZZ BEEP BEEP BZZZ

I groaned and turned over in bed and hit my alarm clock. Hard. I opened my eyes warily to look at the time. 10:32?! Holy shit! I was sooo late! My first class started at 8:45. I jumped out of bed and struggled into my clothes: low riding, tight, faded blue jeans, a tight, spaghetti-string midriff shirt in pastel lavender, and an overshirt of white gauze with sleeves that came down to my elbows. I ran a brush through my waist long blonde hair and braided it quickly and efficiently. I pulled on my black leather boots that came up to mid-calf and strapped on my belt with the holster for my twin revolvers on. I popped a piece of gum in my mouth and grabbed a can of Mountain Dew on the way out. I was going to need all the caffeine I could get.

"Miss Kinneas, I want to see you after class," Instructor Williamson chorused, rather expectedly, when I walked into class late. "And what have I told you about gum and weapons?" I rolled my eyes, sighed, spit my gum into trash can and put my revolvers on her desk. I skulked to my seat in the back and put my feet defiantly on the console, like I always did. Like I wasn't supposed to. It'll ruin the console.or something like that.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," I was given a very pointed stare, "the morals and ethical principals of combat are many. When do you kill or spare a person? When do you surrender or die trying? When do." I zoned out. - - Oh God. Another pointless lecture about what-ifs. How do they expect us to do well in real battles if we don't fight for real here? Are they afraid that someone'll get hurt, or something? It's not like we're never going to. - -

I was brought out of my contemplative meditation by a not being dropped on my lap. It was addressed to me. So, of course, I opened it.

Meet me after you're finished with the instructor. I'll wait for you. Don't forget.

Seth

I looked over at Seth. He was seated one seat in front of me, two to the right. He was looking back at me. His charcoal-gray eyes met mine, and he flashed a quick smile at me. I smiled back as an acknowledgement to having received his note. He turned towards the front again and pushed a hand through his jet-black hair as he attempted to pay attention to Instructor Williamson. There was something about him that was slightly disconcerting, something that I didn't quite trust. But I had never gotten to know him, so I couldn't judge him like that. Maybe now would be my chance. I looked towards the front and semi-concentrated on the lesson, my gaze occasionally flicking towards Seth. I would have to be doubly sure to pick up my revolvers at the end of the lesson, just in case.



§ I don't know what's going on with Alisha any more. She's 20 now, and turning into a beautiful young woman. But ever since she was about 12, we've been growing father and father apart. She's all I have now. But Selphie would know what to do. God, Alisha needs a mother. She's always needed a mother.

I'm going to send her to Balamb. She has the ability to become a SeeD, and I want her to be able to seize every chance she gets. I think she's getting restless here. She's been getting into trouble more and more lately. It's probably my fault. I've totally and utterly failed her as a father. I hope that this will help her.

Irvine §



The bell rang, and the rest of the class filed out of the room. I just sat there, waiting for tirade that I knew would come.

"Why were you late?" Instructor Williamson had walked to the back of the room and sat at the console next to me. I stubbornly kept my eyes away from her. But her voice had softened, and she seemed honestly concerned about me.

"Does it matter? I was late, that's all."

"Drop the bad girl routine. I know as well as you do that you wouldn't be late without a good reason. Whatever else you're interested in, I know your studies have always come first for you. So?" I sighed as I realized that she was right. I finally took my eyes away from the blank screen in front of me and returned her gaze. Instructor Williamson was 32, a couple inches shorter than my 5' 7" with dark brown hair that framed her face and even darker (if that was possible) eyes behind your classic gold wire- rimmed glasses. She was the only woman, Instructor, student or otherwise, here at Galbadia who even sort of understood me, and God, she could read me like a book. "I won't tell anyone if you don't want others to find out. Especially your father." Dammit. She guessed my thoughts that easily. I sighed and decided to confide in her. After all, it couldn't hurt. I guess.

"Well, I had a nightmare last night. It was about when Mom left." Instructor Williamson gave her head a little shake of sympathy. Everyone here had heard the story of how ladies-man Irvine Kinneas had finally found love, then the woman he loved left him. Only a select few knew my Mom's name, though, but everyone seemed to think that it was funny that my Dad's love life would end so ironically, everyone but Instructor Williamson, anyway. And indeed his love life had ended, after Mom left. He immersed himself in his studies and teaching his students, and was now the top Instructor here for shotgun handling and basic sniping. I took my feet off the console and stared into my lap. "It woke me up at about 2:30 this morning, and I just couldn't go back to sleep until 6. Then my alarm clock went all weird, and decided that it wasn't going to go off until about 10:30ish. Not a good day."

"Does you father know about your dream?"

"Hell, no! It's the third time this month. He'd go crazy!"

"Well, how about this: I'll let you off the hook and cover you, this time. We can say that you were running errands for me. In return, you can come in and work for me doing odd jobs during lunch hour next week. And I won't tell anyone about what you said. Especially not Irvine, poor guy's got enough worry on his mind the way it is. Is that okay?"

I could have hugged her. "God, yes! Man, I owe you big time!"

"Now I think you'd better go. You don't want to be late for your meeting with Seth, do you?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, then laughed as shock registered on my face. "I do know what's going on in my classroom, you know. Now go on."

I walked up to the front of the room as fast as I could without running, my face as red a beetroot. I made sure I grabbed my revolvers before leaving the classroom.



§ God, doesn't time slip away fast. DK turned 16 yesterday. The look on his face when I told him he could go and get his driver's license was so funny. It looked like the universe had just dropped into his lap. I still can't believe he's 16 already. It seems like only yesterday I was with Irvine.

Irvine.I wonder how he's doing. I wonder if he's managing with Alisha. She'd be 20 now. I feel so guilty about leaving her there with Irvine, but every time I looked at her I saw Irvine staring back. She had his hair, his eyes, God, her face was practically identical to his, even at only a year old. Was that why I left her? Because I knew that if I took her, that every time I saw her I would have to relive the guilt of leaving Irvine? Irvine, who was always so kind and caring, who, despite his ladies- man personality, had always been there, had truly loved me in his own inexplicable way? Now as I'm sitting here writing this, I'm starting to wonder, did I do the right thing?

Selphie §



I walked briskly out of the room, thoroughly unnerved by Instructor Williamson's ability to tell exactly what was going on. - - Damn! There's no way I'm using her class as a nap period again. Or a period to get my homework done that I didn't do the night before. Or to. - - I jumped a mile when I was tapped on the shoulder.

"You okay? You look a little tense." Seth. I had almost forgotten about him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. So, uh, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Walk with me." I followed him in the general direction towards the cafeteria, where we were both headed next, but we were going through smaller, deserted corridors. Some of them I had never been in before, and I had lived here practically my entire life.

Suddenly, Seth grabbed my wrist and pulled me to a stop. I spun around to face him, and just then I saw something in his eyes that made my blood turn to ice, that put my nerves on edge. But then I blinked, and it was gone. Conversely, I was acutely aware of Seth. His breaths were loud in my ears, almost as if they were my own. I could faintly feel his pulse, as if we were one person. I could tangibly feel his eyes on me, drinking in my presence, and I lifted my eyes to his face. I had never quite noticed before just how much that roguish haircut suited him, or the planes and angles of his handsome face. Yet it was his eyes that really drew me. I had never truly held his eyes before, and I as amazed by how seep they were, how complex the gray irises were, how much knowledge they seemed to hold. I was lost in his gaze, falling.falling.falling.

"You know, tomorrow's the day they send candidates to Balamb to become SeeD's." Seth's low voice didn't break the atmosphere, but seemed to intensify it. All I could do was nod my head. I didn't trust my voice. "You know, you're probably going to be chosen to go. You're about the most kick-ass fighter here."

"You think so?" I managed to say.

"I know so. You have the skill and ability and power to do whatever you want." His hand fame up and gently touched my cheek. "You know I haven't been here long," which was true. He had been here a month, maybe 2, and had come from Trabia. "But I've been looking forward to getting to know you. You've always, well, intrigued me." The corners of his mouth crinkled in a slight smile, and his eyes flicked to my mouth. Uh oh. Alarm bells started going off in my head. I was so stupid! But still, I felt and irresistible urge to meet his eyes, even though my brain was screaming: - - Run! Get away you idiot! You don't know what he's going to do next! - - Our eyes met, and once again I felt lost in their swirling gray depths. Before I had realized what happened, he had leant over, pressed his lips against mine, wrapped his arms around me and was holding me close against him. My arms came up and encircled his neck of their own accord. Slowly I came to the realization of what was happening, and a fierce inner battle between my brain and my body ensued.

- - Get away! Get the hell away from this bastard! What sort of person kisses you before they even know you? - - my mind was screaming

- - Don't stop, dammit, why would you want to stop? - - my body yelled back

I don't know how long we stood like that in that little deserted corridor, our arms wrapped around each other, our mouths pressed together, two little voices in my head arguing back and forth. Finally, I gathered enough of my wits to listen to my instincts, the things that I've always relied on. "Stop it," I muttered against his lips.

"Hmm?"

I brought my arms down from around his neck and pushed against his chest. "Stop it." As my heart rate and breathing returned to normal, I looked at him, and I saw that look in his eyes again.

"I.uh.I gotta go." I walked away as fast as I could without running as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on.



Author's Note: Hmm.many unanswered questions. Well, at least I hope so, anyway. Did Selphie really want to leave Irvine? What's the deal with Seth? Is Alisha going to be chosen to be sent to Balamb? If yes, will she make it as a SeeD? And lastly, okay, I've seen angst and romance, but is there going to be any action soon? Okay, that was my very pathetic attempt at humor. Please, someone laugh. Just a little? Haha? Oh well, I guess ya can't have everything. Stay tuned for the next chapter of, The Struggle for Peace. Man, I really need a better title. Any ideas? Anyone?