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The Very Secret Diary of Draco Malfoy
Day 1
Am on train back to Hogwarts. Crabbe and Goyle still stupid. Hair looking very good today. Slicked back. Have also grown a few inches over summer. Hopefully can be taller than Potter now and will have height advantage. GO ME!
Day 2
Saw Potter today. Unfortunately he has grown over the summer as well. DAMMIT!!! Now will not have height advantage. Although have Crabbe and Goyle to look after me. YAY!!!
Day 3
Started school today. Had double Potions today. Was fun although felt as if Snape was coming onto me. Will be extra careful around him. Will try not to look as good next time.
Day 5
Dumbledore came onto me today!! Go my charming looks and charisma!! Although am not sure if I want old man as my lover. Will tell him not interested.
Day 7
Dumbledore bashed me and gave me detention for the rest of the year. Stupid old man. Should have pretended I wanted him. Only good thing is Weasley has detention as well. Will be able to have fun victimising him.
Day 8
Had detention tonight. Am thinking it was a bit suss that Dumbledore made me massage his back and lick his toes. Weasley had to clean Dumbledore's toilet. HAHA!! Made fun of him by calling him Toilet Boy!! Am very proud of my fast acting wits!!! GO ME!!
Day 11
Hair looking v. good today. Am thinking I may grow it down to my waist!!
Day 12
Goyle told me I am a stupid git for wanting to grow my hair down to my waist. Shall reconsider.
Day 13
Have decided to keep my hair shoulder length as may reduce chances of getting split ends. GO ME!!
Day 14
Potter was mean to me today. Told me I was a fat git for being mean to Weasley. He shall suffer the wrath of Draco Malfoy!! (evil laugh) Or not.
Day 16
Had Quidditch practice today. Was really fun, fraternizing with the enemy (Potter) Was most pissed off when did not catch the Snitch. Will try harder next time. Go my determination and "never give up attitude!"
Day 18
Had Quidditch match today against Gryffindor. Missed the Snitch, again. Stupid Potter. Always gets his own way. Will have to come up with ingenious plan to stop Potter winning in further matches.
Day 22
1 day until Halloween. Am v. excited. Have thought of great idea for Halloween prank to play on Potter. Am planning on craftily swapping his hair shampoo for bleach! Although am not sure how I am going to actually get into the Gryffindor common room. Will have to stalk a Gryffindor.
Day 23
Yay! Halloween's today!!! Saw Potter at breakfast table looking v. smug. Am hoping he hasn't thought of his own Halloween prank to play on me. Decided to follow Granger up to the Gryffindor common room but unfortunately she noticed me, and asked what I was doing. Told her to go fuck herself, then ran off in other direction. Am v. peeved that I didn't get to pull my prank on Potter, will try again some other time.
Day 24
Stupid Potter. Found out today that he pulled the same prank on me. He swapped my luxury shampoo for bleach. Lucky I already have blonde hair and you cannot notice it. Stupid boy with glasses.
Day 26
Had detention tonight. Was fun although Dumbledore had dirty toenails, so did not enjoy licking his toes tonight. Weasley still cleaning Dumbledore's toilet. He was complaining about how dirty it was and how Dumbledore must have a weak bladder because there is always piss all over the floor.
Day 29
Had a great day today. Potter fell off his broom at Quidditch practice today. Had great time laughing at him until I fell off my own broom, from loss of balance. Have a broken arm and am in hospital wing. Potter is in the bed next to me. He has a broken leg, arm and jaw. He looks very funny!! Have been laughing myself silly. He has his leg strapped up and his head is all bandaged. He looks like an idiot.
Day 31
Am still in hospital. Am getting sick of listening to Potter's complaining. Is starting to drive me insane.
Day 33
Yay!! Am out of hospital!! GO ME!! Am going to enjoy day by terrorizing little first years. Should be fun, can practice my insults. GO ME!
Day 34
Potter out of hospital now. Will have to put up with pompous little twit again. Damn it! Weasley tried to stand up for Potter today so hexed him. He now has blue hair and red eyes!! GO ME!! My father will be so proud!
Day 37
Is nearly Christmas! Am so excited, keep wetting my pants when I think about it. Does get a little embarrassing at times. Will need to wear extra padded underwear.
Day 42
Yay! Today is Christmas!! Am so happy. Father sent me a new broom. Cannot wait to try it out. Bet Potter didn't get a new broom. Stupid family-less boy. Cannot wait to show it off in front of him.
Day 43
Showed Potter my new broom today. Nearly went and killed himself, he is so jealous. GO ME!!!
Day 45
Had my last detention tonight. YAY!! Will not have to lick Dumbledore's toes anymore, which is good because am getting sick of taste. Weasley had to scrub Dumbledore's back tonight, was so funny. Was calling him "back scrubber boy." He kept scowling at me, did not enjoy that because it hurts my feelings.
The Very Secret Diary of Draco Malfoy
Day 1
Am on train back to Hogwarts. Crabbe and Goyle still stupid. Hair looking very good today. Slicked back. Have also grown a few inches over summer. Hopefully can be taller than Potter now and will have height advantage. GO ME!
Day 2
Saw Potter today. Unfortunately he has grown over the summer as well. DAMMIT!!! Now will not have height advantage. Although have Crabbe and Goyle to look after me. YAY!!!
Day 3
Started school today. Had double Potions today. Was fun although felt as if Snape was coming onto me. Will be extra careful around him. Will try not to look as good next time.
Day 5
Dumbledore came onto me today!! Go my charming looks and charisma!! Although am not sure if I want old man as my lover. Will tell him not interested.
Day 7
Dumbledore bashed me and gave me detention for the rest of the year. Stupid old man. Should have pretended I wanted him. Only good thing is Weasley has detention as well. Will be able to have fun victimising him.
Day 8
Had detention tonight. Am thinking it was a bit suss that Dumbledore made me massage his back and lick his toes. Weasley had to clean Dumbledore's toilet. HAHA!! Made fun of him by calling him Toilet Boy!! Am very proud of my fast acting wits!!! GO ME!!
Day 11
Hair looking v. good today. Am thinking I may grow it down to my waist!!
Day 12
Goyle told me I am a stupid git for wanting to grow my hair down to my waist. Shall reconsider.
Day 13
Have decided to keep my hair shoulder length as may reduce chances of getting split ends. GO ME!!
Day 14
Potter was mean to me today. Told me I was a fat git for being mean to Weasley. He shall suffer the wrath of Draco Malfoy!! (evil laugh) Or not.
Day 16
Had Quidditch practice today. Was really fun, fraternizing with the enemy (Potter) Was most pissed off when did not catch the Snitch. Will try harder next time. Go my determination and "never give up attitude!"
Day 18
Had Quidditch match today against Gryffindor. Missed the Snitch, again. Stupid Potter. Always gets his own way. Will have to come up with ingenious plan to stop Potter winning in further matches.
Day 22
1 day until Halloween. Am v. excited. Have thought of great idea for Halloween prank to play on Potter. Am planning on craftily swapping his hair shampoo for bleach! Although am not sure how I am going to actually get into the Gryffindor common room. Will have to stalk a Gryffindor.
Day 23
Yay! Halloween's today!!! Saw Potter at breakfast table looking v. smug. Am hoping he hasn't thought of his own Halloween prank to play on me. Decided to follow Granger up to the Gryffindor common room but unfortunately she noticed me, and asked what I was doing. Told her to go fuck herself, then ran off in other direction. Am v. peeved that I didn't get to pull my prank on Potter, will try again some other time.
Day 24
Stupid Potter. Found out today that he pulled the same prank on me. He swapped my luxury shampoo for bleach. Lucky I already have blonde hair and you cannot notice it. Stupid boy with glasses.
Day 26
Had detention tonight. Was fun although Dumbledore had dirty toenails, so did not enjoy licking his toes tonight. Weasley still cleaning Dumbledore's toilet. He was complaining about how dirty it was and how Dumbledore must have a weak bladder because there is always piss all over the floor.
Day 29
Had a great day today. Potter fell off his broom at Quidditch practice today. Had great time laughing at him until I fell off my own broom, from loss of balance. Have a broken arm and am in hospital wing. Potter is in the bed next to me. He has a broken leg, arm and jaw. He looks very funny!! Have been laughing myself silly. He has his leg strapped up and his head is all bandaged. He looks like an idiot.
Day 31
Am still in hospital. Am getting sick of listening to Potter's complaining. Is starting to drive me insane.
Day 33
Yay!! Am out of hospital!! GO ME!! Am going to enjoy day by terrorizing little first years. Should be fun, can practice my insults. GO ME!
Day 34
Potter out of hospital now. Will have to put up with pompous little twit again. Damn it! Weasley tried to stand up for Potter today so hexed him. He now has blue hair and red eyes!! GO ME!! My father will be so proud!
Day 37
Is nearly Christmas! Am so excited, keep wetting my pants when I think about it. Does get a little embarrassing at times. Will need to wear extra padded underwear.
Day 42
Yay! Today is Christmas!! Am so happy. Father sent me a new broom. Cannot wait to try it out. Bet Potter didn't get a new broom. Stupid family-less boy. Cannot wait to show it off in front of him.
Day 43
Showed Potter my new broom today. Nearly went and killed himself, he is so jealous. GO ME!!!
Day 45
Had my last detention tonight. YAY!! Will not have to lick Dumbledore's toes anymore, which is good because am getting sick of taste. Weasley had to scrub Dumbledore's back tonight, was so funny. Was calling him "back scrubber boy." He kept scowling at me, did not enjoy that because it hurts my feelings.