great Hera, I haven't written for them in a while. but I wrote a review recently for one of my favorite stories (To Catch a Thief by LOTSlover, it's pretty amazing) and then this story came from it.

enjoy!

Inside, Bruce was tortured by his demons, almost entirely consumed by his darkness. People didn't see into the deepest corners. The ones he couldn't let even himself venture into.

But when someone managed to make their way through his barriers, like Alfred, or Dick, they insisted there was a good man below his rough surface, it should be set free from the shackles of his dark soul. They both wanted him to pursue a romantic relationship with her. Let her into his world. Let her see what they saw, even though he knew she could anyway.

But there was so much risk. So many ways it could go wrong.

First and foremost, if any of his enemies ever discovered he had someone special, it would give them the advantage he'd never let them have. And if anything ever happened to her because of him, he didn't know what boundaries he would push the limits off, or even cross. He wouldn't be able to live with himself.

And that would only happen if he allowed himself to open up to her.

Which meant exposing himself. Permitting someone to touch the darkness in his soul. Permitting her light to touch his darkness.

But he didn't want her anywhere near it.

He wanted her.

But he didn't want her to glimpse it, or to expose her to it. He didn't want her to be afraid of it.

Her touch meant more to him than anyone else's ever had. He couldn't disrupt that.

He pushed her away to make sure he wouldn't lose her.

Just the beyond the point where temptation and longing could be ignored. But not far enough for to lose it all.

Sometimes he thought he might've gone too far. Then immediately feared the worst.

So he reeled her back in. Too quickly. And every time his guard slipped enough to let her too close.

The cycle always started up again.

But duty always came before desire. There was no choice. There was no other option.

He devoted himself to the cape and the cowl. And before her, no one else had been able to come between that.

But Diana slipped into his thoughts, his dreams. She got under his skin like no one else did. She was a distraction.

She was a distraction.

Nothing could distract him from his mission. Gotham needed protecting. His heart did not need fulfilling.

Once he'd donned the suit, turning back was forever out of the question. He didn't get relationships. He never would.

There was only room for one inside the cowl.

She had to remain at arm's length. Farther than that.

It was only lust and unnecessary feelings that pulled her closer.

He used to push himself to believe the feelings would never develop. Eventually, he knew feeding lies to his own mind was pointless.

Now he acknowledged the feelings. But he didn't accept them.

Because Bruce admitting he was in love with Diana put his mission at risk. It put the relationship between the founding members of the League at risk. And it put her at risk.

She was one of the strongest people he'd ever met. But his enemies were merciless and volatile, some lacking the codes she possessed.

So the only way to love her, was to pretend he didn't love her at all.