A/N: So when I asked you lot in my previous story what it was that you wanted to see, one of you responded with a plot bunny for this story, and BAM, there you go. You're welcome. Although, I did alter it, because that person asked for a view into Lisbon's head before the reunion scene in My Blue Heaven, but I made it into the reunion scene in Blue Bird. Sorry for that!
This story takes place between the plane scene and the kiss in Blue Bird. Some mentions of Pike but none of them inherently positive nor negative.
I have no idea if it's any good, I don't think it quite fits the tone of the show around this era, but I still think that it would be realistic for Lisbon to have doubts like these.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
'Don't Go Breaking My Heart'
She had debated whether she should get off the plane. There were really only two options - either she fly to DC to be with a guy she liked but would never truly love… or she stay here and be surrounded by uncertainty, for even if Jane had told her he loved her, he was still unpredictable, and she was unsure if she trusted him. She would probably get hurt time and time again, even if what he said was true.
In the end, the only real choice was to get off - so she did. Even if she had made the decision herself, it still felt like lead filled her shoes, for she really, really didn't want to get hurt this time. Any other day, she would have taken the pain like a soldier, swallow it down, wear the scars on her heart like battle wounds, but today, this night, she wanted to be reassured. But it was Patrick Jane, after all, and he was inexperienced with common decency, with empathy, so it wouldn't surprise her if he simply continued that trail of behavior.
Although something in his eyes had told her that this time, he was sincere about his words, and she felt he really meant them. Still, she didn't fully trust him, it was her job not to trust him.
She was greeted by countless of TSA officers, ready to cuff her too for breaking whatever laws Jane had broken by coming here, but it was one specific agent who prevented them from doing that. He looked at her, nodding almost indiscernible. She needed time to think, so much had happened and had been confessed that her heart and head were hurting.
"Is there anywhere I can sleep for the night?"
"You don't want to see Mr. Jane?"
She hesitated, but shook her head eventually. "I need… to think."
The man nodded, and she passed the night in some dimly lit hotel room, thinking over… things.
What kind of future could she have with Patrick Jane? She honestly didn't know. He had never let her, or anyone else for that matter, see what he could be besides filled with revenge and guilt. He had had a family before, so she guessed he could be a family man, and their countless of encounters with kids had proven that, if only just a little. But he hadn't put any effort in showing her what he could be to her. Of course, she knew it was unfair, he had still been hurting from his year-long hunt for revenge, but he had left her for two years. She had thought of him, but she couldn't afford to envision him with her anymore, especially since she hadn't known if he would ever come back. And then when he had returned, she had seen great improvement in those clear green eyes of his, but it had been obvious that he was still hurting, to a degree.
Would he ever stop hurting?
He had tried, he really had. After their talk on the airplane during their first case together after those long, tiring years, where she had made it clear to him that he didn't get to decide over her life, he had tried to be a better friend. He had tried to keep her in his thoughts more, to allow her to go her own way. And he had tried to show her what she meant to him, and she had seen some of those efforts, but he had been too scared to tell her the words - or perhaps, he thought it wasn't worth it.
Then, she had hooked up with Marcus Pike - and she saw Patrick Jane was hurting. It felt different this time, all those years they had known each other had shown her how he could hurt, but this time was different, this time it was about her. His moods turned solemn, and she had internally begged for him to say the words, to make her leave Marcus and step into his own arms, but he had stayed awfully silent. As though she could ever have been happy with the other guy.
Somewhere during the night, the pain was too much to bear, the longing eating at her heart, and she left her room and walked the same way back as she'd come, to find the man who had probably risked jail time to get to her, to tell her the three words she had always needed him to say.
She met the officer from hours ago again, and he smiled at her, as though he knew she would be back soon. He led her to a faraway office, where she saw an annoyed and angry TSA officer scribble down notes, occasionally looking up at Patrick Jane, who was sitting across.
"It looks worse than it actually is," the officer told her, but she didn't really pay attention, just focused on the blond curls that made her hands itch to touch them, and the leg that was propped up on a nearby chair, his ankle covered in bandages. What had he done? Was he seriously injured? He hadn't walked any different in the plane, hadn't shown any signs of physical pain, only the emotional pain that love left him with.
The annoyed officer left the room, and she thought of it as her cue to go inside, but not before taking in a deep breath for reassurance.
Well. Whatever it was that the future would hold for her, she hoped it would allow her to be by Patrick Jane's side. And she hoped that he, in turn, would, for once in his life, allow himself to be happy. If his words, almost cried out on board that airplane, had been any indication, he loved her dearly. She would work hard to let that be the main drive from this point on.
A/N: There you go! I would feel it's unrealistic for Lisbon to drop her entire life immediately for Jane, especially since she is in a relationship at this point, even if it's not necessarily a happy one. She still has moral standards, after all.
Anyway, let me know what you thought, and I'll work on some more Jisbon Family Fluff in the meantime!
