please
won't somebody tell me
what it means to breathe
to fucking live-
.
(not just survive)
.
my heart seems to
bleed
and i try and i plead
just let me feel
the sun warm my
cold, cold cheeks
.
every single goddamn second
ticks away
and i can barely feel
what is all around me
.
(disassociation, paralyzation)
.
is this what it
feels like
to lose control?
or feel at all?
and then it's all
.
nothing
.
and then it starts up again
birds chirping, children singing
bells are ringing
and all is fine
.
(but it's not; there's a hole in your soul that goes much more than a mile deep)
.
we call it PTSD