already gone
-remember all the things we wanted?-
tears trail down the brunette's cheeks as she looks throughout old pictures in her cell phone. she presses delete over and over again she almost deletes a picture of her and her boyfriend. throwing her phone to her side, she sighs heavily and hides her face in her palms as her body shakes while she crys. scolding herself, she tells herself to stop crying.
don't be a baby.
she tries to stop the tears but they continue as she crys in shame and in hurt.
-Now all our memories are haunted-
him. her thoughts are flooded with memories of him. memories that now haunted her. memories that she now hated. she hated to remember. dreaded to see him in person. she was weak.
the brunette crys more before finally wiping her tears on her sweater's sleeve. she stands up with a deep breathe before she goes back to packing her clothes into a duffel bag. the memories flood her mind, still. she blocks them as she tries to ignore the pain in her heart.
-we were always meant to say goodbye-
this was the right thing to do, it would save him. its the right thing to do, she assures herself as she packs. liar. tears come back, only a few sliding down her cheek. a perfect, heart breaking tear. her phone buzzes as she hesitantly grabs it and looks at the screen.
randy
she presses ignore and places the phone on the table next to her bag, just so she won't forget. right, keep thinking that. she sighs as the phone buzzes again. again its him. tears espace her bright green eyes as she turns off the phone and places it back down on the table.
-i didn't want us to burn out-
memories. the first time they met. the first time they kissed. the butterflies in her stomach when she was with him. all of the kisses. all of the perfect moments. all of the compliments. the 'i love you's'. the perfect night with him. the test. the positive sign. the regret. the hurt.
she had to stop being selfish, thats how she came up with this idea. look where its gotten you. the idea of leaving him, for his own good, so his career wouldn't be ruined. god sake, he didn't even want children, atleast he didn't when they were first together. the other reason? she didn't want them to raise the child, start fighting and be one of those divorced couples. she just couldn't do that.
-i want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
someones gotta go-
it was either this or he'd leave her on his own. either way, they'd both leave eachother. they'd both be unhappy, this way, he would be happy. she'd be gone, forever.
do you seriously think this will make him happy?
she shakes her head, trying to rattle out the voices and memories, then continues to pack the small remainder of her clothes. she checks the time on the digital alarm clock placed on the bedside table. 10:45 pm. He'd be back soon, all he'd find would be a letter. a letter saying goodbye.
-and i want you to know you couldn't have loved me better-
finished. finally. she pulls out a pad of paper from the bedside table. the hotel's number, name, and locations on the top in edwardian script that you can hardly read. she sighs heavily again before pulling out a pen. then, she starts writing.
dear randy,
i'm gone, i'm leaving and i'll never be back.
i want you to know that i do love you, this
will be better for both of us. and i want you
to know that you couldn't have loved me better.
she stops but doesn't look at it, just sobs a bit.
-but i want you to move on-
but i want you to move on. to forget about me,
that i was ever in your life at all. don't think about
what could have been because it didn't matter where
we took this road, someone's gonna go. i love you, but i
want you to be happy.
again she stops, tears running down her cheeks, some plopping down on the paper. her hands are shaking, she takes a minute to get herself together again. something she has had to do very often these few days. another glance at the clock. 10:55 pm. he'll be home in a few minutes, twenty tops. she hurries with the last of the letter.
-so i'm already gone-
so i'm already gone.
love, rebecca.
the green eyed woman folds the paper in half, writing 'randy' on the top, and places it on her side of the hotel bed. picking up her bag, she wipes away stray tears and walks out of the room, locking the door, leaving her key on the bed at the letter's side. she takes the elevator down to the lobby and hails a taxi. placing her bag aside her, she watches as the hotel dissapears behind her and they head to the airport.
-i'm already gone-
her plane is called as she stands from her chair and walks toward the gate, a carry on bag in her hands. the plane stewardess smiles at her and takes her ticket. the brunette glances out the large windows, snow is traveling down from the sky onto the earth's ground. she enters the airplane with a heavy heart and sits down in her assigned seat.
thankfully, no one sits next to her during the flight. the plane assitant announces that all cell phones must go off in a few minutes. the brunette takes out her cell phone and turns it on just as she gets a call.
randy.
her eyes burn as she fights back tears with blinks and turns the phone off again. she looks out the window as she waits for the plane to take off. someone sits next to her, she's too absorbed with the view that she doesn't pay attention.
"hey."
she freezes and turns to look at her flight partner. bursting out into tears, the person takes her in their arms and comforts the brunette.
can you guess who it is? ;)