Tenchi walked into the same bar he's walked into a thousand times since landing his architect job. He's five years strong into his new career, and unwiding at the bar after a long day had become a ritual of his. This particular bar didn't become his favorite pick until he found his old buddy, Amagasaki, drinking there one night. Immediately it became their own private meeting place to talk about the good old days.
When he spotted his friend, he waved and made his way to the table. "How's it going tonight, Amagasaki?"
Amagasaki laughed and shook his head, "Damn contractors wont get off my back. The lumber they ordered was five days late, and even though they have it now they still find ways to remind me how I screwed up their schedule."
Tenchi took a seat across of him. "They're probably just blowing steam about being behind."
"Yeah. So how about you?"
Tenchi shrugged and said, "I have a new client who wants to me to design a hotel. Just like always, they need me to make it look impressive, while keeping it as cheap as possible."
Amagasaki rolled his eyes. "Of course..."
A waiter came by and Tenchi ordered a drink. Just as it came, the front door swung open and a girl walked in. She wore a short skirt, and her top was merely the upper piece of a bathing suit. Needless to say, there was more skin showing than not.
Tenchi quietly said, "There she is again."
Amagasaki saw from the corner of his eye, but made sure not to turn his head. They've been noticing her hanging around the bar on a pretty regular basis. That alone isn't much to be worried about, but what was strange was that they've seen her talk to the bar tender extensively, and it didn't appear to be casual conversation. It was more business like. It seemed as if she worked here in some way, but neither Tenchi nor Amagasaki have seen her work as a waitress.
Amagasaki sighed, "So I guess the evidence is clear. She's... that..."
"Yeah. Although I didn't really expected it in this neighborhood."
"It happens everywhere, man."
Tenchi placed his elbows on the table. "I know, but it shouldn't."
"It's not that terrible. She's just trying to get by just like the rest of us. And considering the town we live in, she's probably getting by fairly well."
Tenchi shook his head. "Yeah, but that isn't exactly the best thing she could be doing."
"Yeah, by your standards it isn't. But she doesn't seem to mind. It's her life, not yours."
Tenchi took a gulp of his drink and said, "It doesn't really matter that it isn't my life. What she's doing isn't right."
"She's probably made an informed decision about it. Don't be so judgmental."
Tenchi laughed. "I'm not the one judging her. You are."
"Me? How have I judged her?"
Tenchi was silent for a moment as he tried to think of a way to put it into terms that were easily understood. When he had an idea, he said, "Here, let me ask you a question..."
"Shoot."
"You love your wife, Mikoto, right?"
"Of course. I'd do anything for her."
"What if that was Mikoto over there?"
Amagasaki was quiet only for a moment. "It wouldn't be."
"See, you just judged her again."
"You're not making any sense."
Tenchi leaned back in his chair. "Just humor me here... what if that girl was your wife? Let's say you just found out that she had a side job like this that you never knew about."
Amagasaki brows furrowed and he muttered, "Tenchi, I can't believe you're comparing my wife to that girl."
"There you go again. You judged her. Just try and imagine for me... for conversation's sake. What if that girl over there was your wife? What would you do?"
Amagasaki was silent for a long time. He took several large swigs of his drink before finally saying, "Well, I'd be pissed off... that's for sure."
They both chuckled.
"I guess I would at least try and fix it. I would try and find out why she wanted to do this... and maybe try and talk her out of it, to save our marriage."
Tenchi leaned forward again and stared directly at Amagasaki. "Alright then, let me ask you a different question. How is your wife, as a human being, and different from that girl over there?"
Amagasaki didn't respond, he only glanced in the girl's direction, who was currently flirting with a man at the counter. "Well... she's not my wife."
"I didn't ask that. I asked, on the human level, how is she any different from Mikoto?"
"She's different from Mikoto... on the human level... because... well... Mikoto would never do that."
Tenchi nodded. "And that right there is how you're judging her. Do you see what I mean?"
"No."
"Okay, do you think Mikoto and that girl are different?"
"Yeah."
"And why is that?"
Amagasaki shrugged, "Because Mikoto is better than that. She would never settle for that sort of thing."
Tenchi crossed his arms. "So you think what she's doing is wrong?"
"Well yeah... wait... no... well... damnit, Tenchi. What the hell is all this for anyway?"
Tenchi shrugged. "I'm just curious, that's all. Okay, so if that were Mikoto over there, then it would be wrong. Correct?"
"Correct."
"But since it's that girl over there, it's not wrong."
Amagasaki breathed deeply to try and keep his cool. "I didn't say that."
"You said it was her life, and here informed decision. You said she was simply getting by, living by her own standards."
"Well yeah... see that's different from saying 'its not wrong'."
Tenchi asked, "So if your wife suddenly made this informed decision, and started living at her own standards, would you not judge her? Would you support her like you always have in the past?"
"I wouldn't exactly support a choice like that..."
"Wouldn't that be the same as judging her?"
Amagasaki said, "Of course not."
"Why not?"
"Because I know she's better than that."
Tenchi coyly asked, "So this girl isn't better than that? That's pretty judgmental if you ask me."
Amagasaki snorted in annoyance. "You're twisting my words around."
Tenchi shook his head. "I'm doing no such thing. Just think about what you've said here. Trying to stop your wife from doing something like this would be justified, and not judgmental, but trying to stop this girl from doing this would be judging her. And why is that?"
Amagasaki reached the end of his patience. He sharply jumped to his feet, knocking the chair he sat in back several feet. "Damnit, man! I'm only one person! I can't care about everyone, okay?"
The bar was silent as everyone, including the girl, looked to their table with curiosity. Amagasaki took a quick glance around and then quietly sat back down. A few moments later the static of random conversations resumed where it left off.
Tenchi quietly said, "I'm not trying to judge you, Amagasaki. I feel the same way about it. I too am just one man. I can't look after everyone and make sure they turn out alright. One of the hardest lessons I've learned in life is not stopping to help every person in need. If I were to do that, my own life would be sacrificed to their cause, and I would find myself in a situation the same as the people I'm working to help. At the same time, I will not bring other's down so that my own emotional response to their situation is less painful.
"It's not easy... trust me it isn't. In some ways I even envy you... because you can witness a girl become a hooker and you won't lose and sleep over it. As nice as that may be, I refuse to cast judgment on her so that I feel better about myself. It pains me to see a beautiful woman such as her fated to a dead end life like this."
Amagasaki sighed. "What the hell you expect me to do, man? Live in guilt my entire life?"
Tenchi shook his head. "No, of course not. That's the difficult lesson that I had to learn. You see... back when we were just out of high school, five girls came to live in my house. Two of them loved me a whole bunch, while the others had a small crush on me. They were all spectacular people, but the problem was they all wanted me to be the person that loved them. Every waking moment was a living guilt trip. If I ever grew closer to one of them, I would be guilty for the others. My thought always was, 'what does this woman deserve that the other's don't?' and 'What do the other's deserve that this woman doesn't?' Getting out of the cycle was one of the hardest things I've ever done."
Amagasaki tilted his head, "Tenchi, I understand that... but I'm still going to carry on the same way I always have. I don't have the energy to morn every injustice in the world, and I don't have the time to try and fix them. You say I'm judging her... and maybe I am... but I say that I'm protecting myself."
Tenchi took a drink, and found his mug nearly empty. "That's right, Amagasaki, and it's also perfectly fine of you to see things that way. No single person has the time or energy for every injustice in the world. However, you do have your compassion. In this scenario here, a simple compassionate thought for this girl is all that is needed. At least for me, It's been tiding me over until the rest of the world is ready to join in on helping people."
Amagasaki shook his head. "You make it sound so easy."
Tenchi laughed, "Then I must be doing a horrible job at explaining this... because this is the farthest thing from easy."
They both were silent for a long time. Amagasaki's mug was empty by now, but his focus was so removed that several times he tipped his drink to his lips out of habit. Eventually he said, "You know, if you were to ask that girl to stop what she's doing, she'd blow you off."
"Of course she would. She's judging herself, too, after all. You know the crazy part about it? She'd defend herself by accusing me of judgmental."
Amagasaki laughed sarcastically. "Of course! Why didn't I realize?"
"Honestly, though, I'm not judging people when I say that they are living by a terrible standard. I'm asking them not to judge themselves to be less than what they could be."
Amagasaki nodded silently. He caught a glimpse of his watch, and said, "Mikoto will probably start wondering where I am, by now. I'll have to catch you later." He then stood and gathered his things.
"I'll see you later, Amagasaki."
Tenchi watched his friend go to the counter, pay his tab, and leave the bar with one last wave. He glanced back to the girl, and grimaced when she giggled at a man groping her rear.
With a sigh, he stood and made his way across the bar and sat on a stool next to the girl. He brushed her shoulder and said, "What's your name? I'll buy you a drink."
She smiled widely and said, "Thanks for the offer, mister... but I've already had three drinks today, and I'm sort of tuckered out. If you know what I mean."
Tenchi fought down the urge to frown. He tried to remain as friendly as he could. "I do know what you mean... but I actually wanted to just talk to you."
The girl was somewhat startled. It had been a long time since someone wanted to just talk to her. She thought, 'Why would this man take a legit interest in someone like me?' To ease her curiosity, she said, "Uh... sure okay..."
The two then engaged in friendly conversation about nothing in particular...
When he spotted his friend, he waved and made his way to the table. "How's it going tonight, Amagasaki?"
Amagasaki laughed and shook his head, "Damn contractors wont get off my back. The lumber they ordered was five days late, and even though they have it now they still find ways to remind me how I screwed up their schedule."
Tenchi took a seat across of him. "They're probably just blowing steam about being behind."
"Yeah. So how about you?"
Tenchi shrugged and said, "I have a new client who wants to me to design a hotel. Just like always, they need me to make it look impressive, while keeping it as cheap as possible."
Amagasaki rolled his eyes. "Of course..."
A waiter came by and Tenchi ordered a drink. Just as it came, the front door swung open and a girl walked in. She wore a short skirt, and her top was merely the upper piece of a bathing suit. Needless to say, there was more skin showing than not.
Tenchi quietly said, "There she is again."
Amagasaki saw from the corner of his eye, but made sure not to turn his head. They've been noticing her hanging around the bar on a pretty regular basis. That alone isn't much to be worried about, but what was strange was that they've seen her talk to the bar tender extensively, and it didn't appear to be casual conversation. It was more business like. It seemed as if she worked here in some way, but neither Tenchi nor Amagasaki have seen her work as a waitress.
Amagasaki sighed, "So I guess the evidence is clear. She's... that..."
"Yeah. Although I didn't really expected it in this neighborhood."
"It happens everywhere, man."
Tenchi placed his elbows on the table. "I know, but it shouldn't."
"It's not that terrible. She's just trying to get by just like the rest of us. And considering the town we live in, she's probably getting by fairly well."
Tenchi shook his head. "Yeah, but that isn't exactly the best thing she could be doing."
"Yeah, by your standards it isn't. But she doesn't seem to mind. It's her life, not yours."
Tenchi took a gulp of his drink and said, "It doesn't really matter that it isn't my life. What she's doing isn't right."
"She's probably made an informed decision about it. Don't be so judgmental."
Tenchi laughed. "I'm not the one judging her. You are."
"Me? How have I judged her?"
Tenchi was silent for a moment as he tried to think of a way to put it into terms that were easily understood. When he had an idea, he said, "Here, let me ask you a question..."
"Shoot."
"You love your wife, Mikoto, right?"
"Of course. I'd do anything for her."
"What if that was Mikoto over there?"
Amagasaki was quiet only for a moment. "It wouldn't be."
"See, you just judged her again."
"You're not making any sense."
Tenchi leaned back in his chair. "Just humor me here... what if that girl was your wife? Let's say you just found out that she had a side job like this that you never knew about."
Amagasaki brows furrowed and he muttered, "Tenchi, I can't believe you're comparing my wife to that girl."
"There you go again. You judged her. Just try and imagine for me... for conversation's sake. What if that girl over there was your wife? What would you do?"
Amagasaki was silent for a long time. He took several large swigs of his drink before finally saying, "Well, I'd be pissed off... that's for sure."
They both chuckled.
"I guess I would at least try and fix it. I would try and find out why she wanted to do this... and maybe try and talk her out of it, to save our marriage."
Tenchi leaned forward again and stared directly at Amagasaki. "Alright then, let me ask you a different question. How is your wife, as a human being, and different from that girl over there?"
Amagasaki didn't respond, he only glanced in the girl's direction, who was currently flirting with a man at the counter. "Well... she's not my wife."
"I didn't ask that. I asked, on the human level, how is she any different from Mikoto?"
"She's different from Mikoto... on the human level... because... well... Mikoto would never do that."
Tenchi nodded. "And that right there is how you're judging her. Do you see what I mean?"
"No."
"Okay, do you think Mikoto and that girl are different?"
"Yeah."
"And why is that?"
Amagasaki shrugged, "Because Mikoto is better than that. She would never settle for that sort of thing."
Tenchi crossed his arms. "So you think what she's doing is wrong?"
"Well yeah... wait... no... well... damnit, Tenchi. What the hell is all this for anyway?"
Tenchi shrugged. "I'm just curious, that's all. Okay, so if that were Mikoto over there, then it would be wrong. Correct?"
"Correct."
"But since it's that girl over there, it's not wrong."
Amagasaki breathed deeply to try and keep his cool. "I didn't say that."
"You said it was her life, and here informed decision. You said she was simply getting by, living by her own standards."
"Well yeah... see that's different from saying 'its not wrong'."
Tenchi asked, "So if your wife suddenly made this informed decision, and started living at her own standards, would you not judge her? Would you support her like you always have in the past?"
"I wouldn't exactly support a choice like that..."
"Wouldn't that be the same as judging her?"
Amagasaki said, "Of course not."
"Why not?"
"Because I know she's better than that."
Tenchi coyly asked, "So this girl isn't better than that? That's pretty judgmental if you ask me."
Amagasaki snorted in annoyance. "You're twisting my words around."
Tenchi shook his head. "I'm doing no such thing. Just think about what you've said here. Trying to stop your wife from doing something like this would be justified, and not judgmental, but trying to stop this girl from doing this would be judging her. And why is that?"
Amagasaki reached the end of his patience. He sharply jumped to his feet, knocking the chair he sat in back several feet. "Damnit, man! I'm only one person! I can't care about everyone, okay?"
The bar was silent as everyone, including the girl, looked to their table with curiosity. Amagasaki took a quick glance around and then quietly sat back down. A few moments later the static of random conversations resumed where it left off.
Tenchi quietly said, "I'm not trying to judge you, Amagasaki. I feel the same way about it. I too am just one man. I can't look after everyone and make sure they turn out alright. One of the hardest lessons I've learned in life is not stopping to help every person in need. If I were to do that, my own life would be sacrificed to their cause, and I would find myself in a situation the same as the people I'm working to help. At the same time, I will not bring other's down so that my own emotional response to their situation is less painful.
"It's not easy... trust me it isn't. In some ways I even envy you... because you can witness a girl become a hooker and you won't lose and sleep over it. As nice as that may be, I refuse to cast judgment on her so that I feel better about myself. It pains me to see a beautiful woman such as her fated to a dead end life like this."
Amagasaki sighed. "What the hell you expect me to do, man? Live in guilt my entire life?"
Tenchi shook his head. "No, of course not. That's the difficult lesson that I had to learn. You see... back when we were just out of high school, five girls came to live in my house. Two of them loved me a whole bunch, while the others had a small crush on me. They were all spectacular people, but the problem was they all wanted me to be the person that loved them. Every waking moment was a living guilt trip. If I ever grew closer to one of them, I would be guilty for the others. My thought always was, 'what does this woman deserve that the other's don't?' and 'What do the other's deserve that this woman doesn't?' Getting out of the cycle was one of the hardest things I've ever done."
Amagasaki tilted his head, "Tenchi, I understand that... but I'm still going to carry on the same way I always have. I don't have the energy to morn every injustice in the world, and I don't have the time to try and fix them. You say I'm judging her... and maybe I am... but I say that I'm protecting myself."
Tenchi took a drink, and found his mug nearly empty. "That's right, Amagasaki, and it's also perfectly fine of you to see things that way. No single person has the time or energy for every injustice in the world. However, you do have your compassion. In this scenario here, a simple compassionate thought for this girl is all that is needed. At least for me, It's been tiding me over until the rest of the world is ready to join in on helping people."
Amagasaki shook his head. "You make it sound so easy."
Tenchi laughed, "Then I must be doing a horrible job at explaining this... because this is the farthest thing from easy."
They both were silent for a long time. Amagasaki's mug was empty by now, but his focus was so removed that several times he tipped his drink to his lips out of habit. Eventually he said, "You know, if you were to ask that girl to stop what she's doing, she'd blow you off."
"Of course she would. She's judging herself, too, after all. You know the crazy part about it? She'd defend herself by accusing me of judgmental."
Amagasaki laughed sarcastically. "Of course! Why didn't I realize?"
"Honestly, though, I'm not judging people when I say that they are living by a terrible standard. I'm asking them not to judge themselves to be less than what they could be."
Amagasaki nodded silently. He caught a glimpse of his watch, and said, "Mikoto will probably start wondering where I am, by now. I'll have to catch you later." He then stood and gathered his things.
"I'll see you later, Amagasaki."
Tenchi watched his friend go to the counter, pay his tab, and leave the bar with one last wave. He glanced back to the girl, and grimaced when she giggled at a man groping her rear.
With a sigh, he stood and made his way across the bar and sat on a stool next to the girl. He brushed her shoulder and said, "What's your name? I'll buy you a drink."
She smiled widely and said, "Thanks for the offer, mister... but I've already had three drinks today, and I'm sort of tuckered out. If you know what I mean."
Tenchi fought down the urge to frown. He tried to remain as friendly as he could. "I do know what you mean... but I actually wanted to just talk to you."
The girl was somewhat startled. It had been a long time since someone wanted to just talk to her. She thought, 'Why would this man take a legit interest in someone like me?' To ease her curiosity, she said, "Uh... sure okay..."
The two then engaged in friendly conversation about nothing in particular...
