The tears still streaming down her face she sits at the edge of the cliff. The waters bellow are roiling and churning in a great mass of waves. They reach up and smash against the rocks violently and Leah feels as if the water is a hand reaching up for her ankle which dangles just out of reach.
She takes a deep breath and lets the sea air fill her lungs. The feeling of the salt scraping through her throat is familiar; comfortable even. Even though her body is at ease, her mind is much like the waves below; choppy, swirling, violent. Why me? she thinks bitterly and kicks her legs a little. Why did I deserve this life?
But at the same time she doesn't want to think about her life; not even for a second. But then again, when has she ever broken down and thought about everything. Not even once. Maybe a fragment of something would pop into Leah's thoughts and then she would wince it away, but she kept most things locked up tightly.
As she slowly unlocks that deep and hidden part of her brain, the first thing that jumps out of the box is Sam. His face, his voice, and even his smell lingers in her nostrils as if she has just embraced him. Maybe, she thinks, maybe it would be better if Same was dead. That way neither of us would be hurting.
The next memory comes out with a crushing blow. But Sam wasn't hurting, if anything, maybe a little, because he had Emily. He had someone who loved him and held him. And even though he had to be around Leah all day, Leah whom he used to love, at least he had Emily to go home too. Leah had no one to go home to.
There is probably something wrong with me, she thinks with self pity. Maybe that's why Sam never loved me. Maybe that's why they all hate me.
Leah thinks that they can all just go jump off a cliff, for all she cares. Or, better yet, she should jump off the cliff and where ever she ended up, she could see how they all reacted to her suicide. I bet they all laugh, she thinks.
She looks back down at the water, not seeing the dangerous current this time, but seeing how high up she was. She had never tried cliff diving and, though she'd never admit to it, she was frightened by it. But the boys in the pack always raved over how much of a thrill you got from it. Maybe Bella Swan wasn't all that crazy for trying it, after all. Leah was nearly itching to feel the wind in her hair; the water bellow far from her mind.
But then again, maybe something Bella Swan enjoyed wouldn't be so great after all. The girl went nearly nutty when her leach left her. She wouldn't have been making proper decisions.
But even so, Leah was at Bella's level anyways. As much as she hated to admit it; both had lost the ones they loved. Maybe Leah was going a little nutty herself. Bella Swan got her leach in the end, didn't she? she thinks with a tiny ounce of hope, even though she knows her Sam is out of her reach.
Do I really want to jump? she thinks. The boys had always chided her to jump and she had taken a pride in being the only one to not have gone. After a few times of not going they joked that if she tried, she might kill herself so it'd be better she didn't go. Do I jump, and let them win?
But it doesn't even matter," she spits back at herself because she knows they will win whether or not she jumps. They always win, and she always loses.
Some nasty feeling bubbles up inside of her and it claws it's way through her chest. It's all their fault that I'm like this. They did this to me. She can remember back when she was happier but the thought vanishes quickly.
She stands shakily and peers over once more, smelling the salty water and hearing the thunder of the waves. With a deep breath she turns her back to the water and glances out into the tree's one last time. Somewhere off in the distance a wolf howls and Leah's eyes slide closed and she smiles. "Finally." She says.
She falls.