Harry Potter looked at the dinner table and smiled. 21 years ago he would never have imagined a future where he would be sitting at the dinner table with his three children, godson and wife and no looming threat on his head. He had been an Auror for almost 19 years and held the position of Head Auror for nearly 5 years. He was the youngest Head in centuries and yet he felt old and weary. He smiled again, two more years, and the current inductee batch would graduate, he would hand in his resignation, and finally take up the other thing he loved, teaching. Lost in thought he nearly didn't hear Ginny ask James if he was feeling alright. But Harry was nothing if not attentive to his children, his eyes focused on James who was frowning at his plate, his dinner untouched.
"Is everything alright, Jamie?" Harry asked looking at his most upbeat son, James was not one to look upset with food around; he was too much like Ron in this respect.
James looked at him, and paled, looking visibly upset. Harry exchanged a look with Ginny as the rest of the children stared curiously at James.
"Honey, you know you can tell us anything, right?" Ginny urged, leaning a little to hold his hand.
James nodded, sliding his hand from underneath hers and placing it on his lap with his other hand. He looked at Harry again, his eye sparkling with tears.
"James." Harry said, worrying now, James never got so upset. "What is it?"
James shook his head, as if trying to dislodge an ugly thought.
"Did someone say something to you?" Ginny asked.
"No." James whispered, before clearing his throat.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Harry asked softly.
"Not right now." James said, his voice low and rough. "Please." He added a moment later.
Ginny and Harry exchanged a look before looking at Teddy, who shrugged, looking equally mystified at James' behavior. Albus and Lily stared at James, but shrugged and resumed dinner as soon as he shook his head and gave them a small smile.
"Eat. James." Harry prompted his 15 year old son, who was still staring at his plate. "You cannot deal with whatever is making you upset on an empty stomach."
"You did." James muttered , and then looked at Harry, his expression horrified. "I didn't-"
"It's okay." Harry said quietly, "But eat your dinner for now. Okay?" Harry smiled at his son reassuringly before going back to his dinner.
There was a beat of awkward silence at the dinner table, with only Teddy and Albus communicating with each other with looks.
"Did you really die?" James asked suddenly. Ginny and Harry froze, Lily's fork dropped on her plate with a clatter as her head swiveled around to stare at her father. Albus stared at James, eyes wide as Teddy pursed his lips, unhappily.
"Where-How-Who told you that?" Ginny asked, finding her voice.
"It's there in our textbook. Susan Bones' book." James replied, looking down.
"Since when have you started reading your year books, History at that before the start of the term?" Harry asked lightly, trying to divert the topic.
James flinched a little. "It was about the war, we were curious. We just wanted to check out how close they are to the real facts. Rita Skeeter's book was a joke; we thought this would be just as inaccurate."
"So, what did the book say?" Harry asked, rubbing his face tiredly.
"Loads of things, like how horrible things were at Hogwarts. Students being chained and tortured, having the Cruciatus Curse used on them." James said, his eye flickering to Ginny, before he shuddered and looked away.
"Lily, Albus." Ginny said suddenly, "Why don't you take your dinners to your rooms?"
James took one look at Lily, who looked a little pale and ducked his head, feeling ashamed.
"No." Albus said folding his arms and leaning back on his chair.
"This is not up for discussion." Ginny said quietly but her tone was decisive.
"Why not?" Albus asked, "I will be reading the same things in two years and Lily would do the same in 4 years, why hide this from us?"
"Albus," Harry said, "Lily is only 11. She shouldn't listen to all of this."
"Both of you were fighting Voldemort when you were my age." Lily piped up, eyes narrowed, she looked so much like her mother when she was mad.
"Lily!" Ginny exclaimed, "We had no choice! I can't even imagine what my parents went through when we stupidly put ourselves in danger. We don't want that for you."
"I am not going off to fight him, I just want to know. I can't go to my room now and not know anything." Lily fumed.
"I think, we should get over with this once and for all." Teddy added cautiously, but glared pointedly at Lily and Albus as they grinned at him.
"Teddy-" Ginny sighed, "Harry?"
Harry nodded, "He is right, Gin." He said, squeezing her hand, "They all are. They will find out sooner or later."
"Then let's make it later." Ginny said stubbornly.
"Would you have liked not knowing something so critical about your own father, because your mother thought you were too young?" Harry asked, smiling at her slightly, his tone mildly accusing.
Ginny glared at him but sighed. "Fine. But everyone will finish their dinner before starting this discussion."
James, Albus, and Lily made noises of protest but Harry held his hand up and silenced them. "Listen to your mother or I will not tell you anything."
Albus and Lily groaned and started inhaling their food. James picked at his food, nibbling a bite here and there before pushing his plate away.
"I just feel sick!" He exclaimed.
"Okay, we will leave you a plate for later." Ginny said, giving him an understanding smile. James nodded, before turning to Teddy, his eyes irate.
"I am assuming you knew." He said.
Teddy shrugged, "So do the others."
"Why didn't anyone tell us?" James asked agitatedly, running a hand through his red hair.
Teddy shrugged, "We figured you will find out sooner or later."
"And you never asked Dad?" James asked incredulously.
Teddy looked at Harry briefly, "I did. But I was in school when I found out, so I had to wait and that helped calm me down a little."
James nodded, looking impatiently at the adults in the room, who were still eating. To the children it looked like the adults were taking forever in finishing their food. But at long last, Ginny put her fork down, and their plates were cleared.
"So, James what did you find out?" Harry asked, digging into his treacle tart.
"Like I said, it was all about that year. How Ms. Bones' aunt was found murdered in her flat." James said.
Harry and Ginny nodded briefly.
"There was also a lot written about Dumbledore's Army, its history and the people who ran it once you were gone. Although, Ms. Bones is unclear on why you were on the run, but she did mention that at some point, they were all afraid that Uncle Ron, Aunt Hermione and you were dead."
"Then there is a lot about that night, how you turned up and then there was Voldemort and how he asked you to turn yourself in and that no one saw for a while after that. And then-and then-" James stuttered, "The book says that in the morning, the Death Eaters and Voldemort returned, and Hagrid was carrying your body, and everyone claimed that you were dead. And the Neville stepped up and a fight broke out and then all everyone knows is that suddenly you were undead and fighting Voldemort, again." James said looking at him curiously.
"Miss Bones has discussed several theories on how you survived and that she firmly believes that Voldemort must have believed that you were dead to even bring you out. And he would have used the killing curse on you, the moment he saw you. But, you survived and no one really knows what happened in the forest. So, what happened? Were you really dead?"
"That can't be right." Albus said, "Voldemort probably didn't use the killing curse. No one can survive it."
"Dad, did. Twice." James pointed out.
"Yeah, but the first time was because Grandma created a sacrifice shield on him, didn't she?" Albus countered. "No one did that for him in the forest. You didn't die, right?"
Harry exchanged a brief look with Ginny. "I did die." He stated simply, as if he was discussing today's news. The reaction on the table was instantaneous; all his children looked at him, eyes wide with shock.
"But-but-but how?" Albus asked bewildered.
"I can't tell you everything." Harry said, "But Voldemort had created very powerful objects containing some of his powers, these object made him unbeatable and immortal. The night my parents died and his spell backfired; some of those powers were transferred to me."
"Ew!" Lily said, wrinkling her nose.
Harry grinned, "Yeah, it was pretty ew! That's how I got this scar." He said, pointing to the lightning bolt shape on his head.
"So, then what happened?" Albus prompted.
"Well, for him to die, all those objects had to be destroyed."
"Including you." James said, looking horrified at the idea. Lily clapped her hands on her mouth.
"No!" Albus exclaimed, "That's just-"
Harry smiled at his youngest son.
"You knew?" James exploded, "You knew that he would kill you and walked right to him? How thick were you?"
"James," Ginny started reproachfully but Harry squeezed her hand comfortingly.
"No!" James exclaimed, now pacing in front of the table agitatedly, "How could you? Did you also know that you would come back?"
"I had to James." Harry said, "I had to die to make him truly powerless, so that he could die."
"Did you know you were coming back?" Albus repeated James' question.
"No." Harry said, truthfully, "When I walked out of the castle, all I knew was that I had to die for him to die."
"But-But-How did you come back?" Albus asked, "Are you immortal?"
"I am not immortal." Harry said, "Voldemort used my blood to bring back his body. He had my mother's protection running through him. He anchored me to life as long as he lived. When he used the killing curse, his powers in me died while I lived."
"So, you didn't die?" James said slowly.
"I don't know, James." Harry replied, "I think I did, because I was given the option of going on and getting done with the war and everything else."
"Really?" Albus asked, eyes alight with interest. "So, what is the other side like?"
Harry exchanged a brief glance with Ginny, who gave him a tight smile.
"I don't know, Albus." He said, with a sigh, "When I woke up, I think I was in a limbo of sorts. It was like King's Cross Station for me, but I guess, it's different for other people."
"Hmm…" Albus hummed, rubbing his chin. He couldn't wrap his head around the idea of his dad dying.
"Dad." Albus asked slowly, "How bad was it?"
Harry's eyes flickered to Lily who sat frozen on her seat. "It was pretty bad." He said after a moment, "People were disappearing, we didn't know whom to trust, the ministry was over taken. No one knew what was going on. Ron, Hermione and I were so focused on our task; I don't think I know what it was like for everyone else."
"Mum?" Albus inquired, "What was it like at Hogwarts?"
Ginny looked away, she really didn't want her children to know what Hogwarts was like that last year.
"Hogwarts was different." She said slowly, "It was being run by Death Eaters. We were being brainwashed to believe that Muggles, Muggleborns, Half-Bloods, even Blood Traitors were animals. There were no Muggleborns at Hogwarts that year. Students kept disappearing during the entire year. Torture was detention as well as classroom practice. It was just horrible."
"There was a picture of the DA in the book." James said hesitating, "Ms. Bones said that, the picture was taken as a memory, as more and more people started disappearing, it was taken to remember everyone. That picture looked horrible. Most of them looked like they were trampled by Hippogriffs. Even you were in the picture, Mum and you looked like something large had just dragged you around and then dropped you."
Ginny's breath hitched. Neville had jokingly wished for a camera to capture Seamus' face and it had appeared. What started as a joke, became a picture, she had it somewhere in her trunk still, but she refused to look at it, it was too painful. It was one thing to lay the facts bare, but Susan with her unorthodox belief of embracing the bad had taken things way further than necessary. No wonder, Percy was fuming about the inappropriateness of the book, which was introduced in the curriculum a couple of years ago.
" James." Teddy chided gently, "You got your answer. Dad died and came back. Now leave it alone."
"But-" James caught Teddy's expression and shut up.
"Mum", Lily said in a tiny voice. "Does it still hurt? Rose said, Aunt Hermione sometimes winces in pain suddenly and starts rubbing her scars."
Ginny looked at her daughter and sighed.
"No honey, it was a long time ago. It doesn't hurt now." She said with a smile, "Besides I am made of stronger stuff."
Lily nodded, her head reeled. This was too much! But her Mum and Dad were here now and that was all that mattered and her Dad was the best, so nothing will happen to him ever again.
"Dad?" James said in a hard voice, "Just- Just promise me that you won't just walk to your death the next time some lunatic asks you to come out. No matter what happens, I can't imagine a world…"
He didn't finish his sentence, choosing to rub his face with his hands.
"Surprisingly enough," Harry said with a small smile, "Teddy asked me to make the same promise. And I am not thick enough to do that again."
"I don't know, Dad." Albus said, "You do have a Hero Complex."
Ginny let out a weak laugh.
"I do not have a Hero Complex." Harry said indignantly.
"But you do." Teddy chided him, "Who stayed back last week on that skirmish to ensure his team had returned safely, before leaving the fight area?"
"My team is my responsibility." Harry said.
"Your team was perfectly safe." Teddy replied calmly, sometime he did remind Harry of Remus. "It was a friendly competition. You stayed back because you just can't leave till everyone is safe. That is a hero complex."
"That is not-Ginny!" Harry complained, as Ginny started laughing.
"Sorry Harry, but you have always had a Hero complex."
"Whose side are you on woman?" Harry humphed, annoyed.
"Even Aunt Hermione says that you have a saving people thing." Albus said, "Wasn't Uncle Ron grumbling about him wanting to go back to save Scor's dad in the face of death, when he thought Scor was interested in Rose?"
"There you go!" Teddy exclaimed laughing.
"Fine!" Harry said, "Take the mickey out of me. Imagine, the Boy-who-lived-twice has no respect in his own household!"
This had them all tumbling with laughter. As James climbed into bed, after a healthy round of play fighting with his Dad, he grinned, Hero or not, his Dad was a pretty normal human being. He was just Dad, he now knew why people were so awed of Harry Potter, but for James this is the man who can't eat a burger without dropping some sauce on his clothes, the man who loves a midnight flying session, the man who pouts like a baby for another helping of ice-cream. Yes, his Dad was awesome, not because he killed Voldemort, but because life had been so cruel to him and he still managed to not be bitter about it. It was this quality about his father that he loved the most and inspired to be the most.
As Harry lay in bed, after receiving numerous hugs from his children, along with threats of dire consequences if he ever pulled such a stunt again, he grinned. 21 years ago, he would never have imagined that he would have a future with children who would love him so much. He had come a long from being the boy under the stairs. He was now a man, with a family, a home, a future. He had never regretted his return, someday, he will go on from King's Cross station, but every moment before that would be lived as a blessing.
AN: Hope you enjoyed it. Read and Review, please.