For Laura! - Merry Christmas! And thanks for making me write an N&C one-shot it's been too long xD!
Belief
Lynette still couldn't believe it. She had been there when it happened, she had felt the punches and kicks when it happened. She had seen him breathe his last after whispering 'Be strong, Lynny'. She had heard it confirmed from her hospital bed. She had gone to his funeral and seen his coffin lowered into the ground. But now, as she knelt alone beside the grave, she couldn't believe it was real.
She knew it was real, she knew in her mind that he really was gone. That he would never be back. He was dead and nothing would change that, but she couldn't believe it. She couldn't allow herself to stop and truly believe it. In her mind she was being honest, she would tell anyone who asked that she was fine, appeared to be dealing with his death well, but in her heart she couldn't believe it. She didn't want to let him go. She couldn't let him go, she knew if she did, she'd fall apart.
She traced her hand over the words 'Jed Matthews', smiling slightly to herself, flying into a flashback
'I'm Jed' He had told her, after walking up to her in a café.
'Lynny' She had replied, quickly correcting herself 'Lynette'
'It's nice to mean you Lynny-Lynette' said Jed with a cheeky smile and she couldn't help but laugh.
'You're not talking much' he observed. 'Which usually means one of two things: you're either blown away by my angelically good looks or you want me to go away. Am I right?'
She laughed slightly, like she had at the time. At the time it had been neither, but now she was just glad he hadn't gone away. She was glad she had been able get to know him, feel him hold her close. She was glad she had been able to kiss him and talk to him.
She sighed as she thought about the first time society stuck its head in
'Dagger's slut' a nought man who sounded both angry and drunk interrupted Jed. 'you know if he's with you he's using you. And if you want him you're a desperate cow'
'Shut the hell up' said Jed and Lynette stood up and walked out. A moment later Jed followed he. 'Lynny' She didn't stop walking and she didn't look at him. An angry tear ran down her face. She wasn't angry with Jed, She was angry with society. 'Lynny stop'' Jed stood in front of her forcing her to stop. 'Hey, don't cry' he wiped the tear away. 'Lynny you wanted me to tell you about me. Well I'll tell you now, and you have to believe me. Jedidiah Matthew's hates people like that. I'm not using you, and you're not desperate. I like you for you, not because I think you're easy or anything, because you're you. Lynette McGregor protective big sister. Sweet, little Lynny. Please say you believe me'
Lynette nodded. He was so genuine, so true. 'I believe you' she replied simply.
Of course she had believed him, and over and over again he had proved it. He was perfect. Perfect for her, they were perfect. And they would've been forever if society hadn't gotten in the way.
She physically shook her head to bring herself firmly into the present. She whispered, almost silently, speaking from her head 'Goodbye Jed', then added, speaking from her head 'I'll never let you go, I promise' before standing up and walking away from the grave.