A/N: I was surfing ff.net (what else is new, I have NO LIFE!) and I came
across Fad Frogs "The Catalogue of Unlikely Fic Titles" and I was just
struck by them. And me being me I decided that I was going to write
one...and I had to choose one with Sirius because I love the man. So here
it is, Sirius Black and the Vow of Chastity! Hehehe...this amuses
me....hehehe Like THAT would ever happen.
So buckle your seatbelts, we are on for a ride!
Sirius Black and the Vow of Chastity
Sirius sat in his room, a frown covering his face. He looked down, lifted up the waistband of his boxers, growled, and then looked up. This continued for a good ten minutes, interrupted only by his scratching his, er, manly parts.
"Damn them." He muttered to himself. "I can't believe this is happening...Red bumps...Itchy...Stupid WHORES!" Well, I am assuming that we can all guess what our hero is talking about, but for these of us who are slow or young I'll explain.
Sirius, having just been pronounced free a month ago, was going on a party and sexually rampage. Well, he DID have 13 years to make up for! But two weeks ago he had woken up with a rash and bumps and one hell of an ITCH on his bits and pieces. Now, he knew if he went to a doctors it could be taken care of in a matter of seconds, but he was so EMBARESSED.
But, the itching became to much for him to handle and he gave in, got dressed, and took his hung-over ass to St. Mungo's. After much laughter and teasing (he turned quite a few interesting shades of red, purple, pink, and oddly enough, green, as the nurse checked him over.) he left. And as he left he lifted his fist to blue heavens, shook it, swore the day that STD's came around, and took a vow of chastity then and there.
He walked home, still red, but without his itch and a bounce in his step. Besides, he still had his hand!
::Two weeks later::
Sirius sat in his room, a frown covering his face. He looked down, lifted up the waistband of his boxers, growled, and then looked up. "They are going to shrink! I'm going to die! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" Sirius, after having taken his vow of chastity, was regretting it deeply. There was only so much a man could take really.
"Need...Sex...NOW..." With that he got up, showered, dressed, put on his leather and went out. And at three in the morning came home with a red headed witch named Carol. And assured himself, and her, that they were still there, and alive and kicking. He assured four times that night.
::A week later::
Sirius sat in his room, a frown covering his face. He looked down, lifted up the waistband of his boxers, growled, and then looked up. This continued for a good ten minutes, interrupted only by his scratching his, er, manly parts.
And as he dressed to go back to St. Mungo's he took a vow. He raised his fist to the blue heavens and shook it, vowing himself to chastity...Then this really cute blonde walked by...
THE END
So buckle your seatbelts, we are on for a ride!
Sirius Black and the Vow of Chastity
Sirius sat in his room, a frown covering his face. He looked down, lifted up the waistband of his boxers, growled, and then looked up. This continued for a good ten minutes, interrupted only by his scratching his, er, manly parts.
"Damn them." He muttered to himself. "I can't believe this is happening...Red bumps...Itchy...Stupid WHORES!" Well, I am assuming that we can all guess what our hero is talking about, but for these of us who are slow or young I'll explain.
Sirius, having just been pronounced free a month ago, was going on a party and sexually rampage. Well, he DID have 13 years to make up for! But two weeks ago he had woken up with a rash and bumps and one hell of an ITCH on his bits and pieces. Now, he knew if he went to a doctors it could be taken care of in a matter of seconds, but he was so EMBARESSED.
But, the itching became to much for him to handle and he gave in, got dressed, and took his hung-over ass to St. Mungo's. After much laughter and teasing (he turned quite a few interesting shades of red, purple, pink, and oddly enough, green, as the nurse checked him over.) he left. And as he left he lifted his fist to blue heavens, shook it, swore the day that STD's came around, and took a vow of chastity then and there.
He walked home, still red, but without his itch and a bounce in his step. Besides, he still had his hand!
::Two weeks later::
Sirius sat in his room, a frown covering his face. He looked down, lifted up the waistband of his boxers, growled, and then looked up. "They are going to shrink! I'm going to die! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" Sirius, after having taken his vow of chastity, was regretting it deeply. There was only so much a man could take really.
"Need...Sex...NOW..." With that he got up, showered, dressed, put on his leather and went out. And at three in the morning came home with a red headed witch named Carol. And assured himself, and her, that they were still there, and alive and kicking. He assured four times that night.
::A week later::
Sirius sat in his room, a frown covering his face. He looked down, lifted up the waistband of his boxers, growled, and then looked up. This continued for a good ten minutes, interrupted only by his scratching his, er, manly parts.
And as he dressed to go back to St. Mungo's he took a vow. He raised his fist to the blue heavens and shook it, vowing himself to chastity...Then this really cute blonde walked by...
THE END