A/N: Okay, so this is the Prologue which deals mainly with Miku's trauma and explains how everything works. I don't own Vocaloid!
Not by the courtyard, but by a young grave. Through the cobblestone streets, past the rickety buildings to the south, and into a patch of grass that was a sickeningly cheerful shade of green. It was there that she lay, appearing incredibly out of place, like a butterfly snagged upon a thorn bush. Hair, unusually disheveled and teal, spilled out from under the dark hood that she wore, painting the ground an unusual neon. Two equally teal, sleepless child's eyes were staring at the fresh grave with a combination of disdain and affection. The skin beneath appeared irritated and red, hinting that the woman must have spent another night alongside the gravestone, crying. Such behavior was not uncommon. The small frown that painted her fair face was something that no human, nor any other vocaloid would have seen her wear. After all, Hatsune Miku was always happy, always laughing, and most importantly, always smiling.
At least, that was how it used to be. The simple black that adorned her body was free of any electric blue tie, or an object that, in her youth, would have stood hand in hand with her personality. It had been two years since her fiancée had passed away. Although, the way in which Megurine Luka had died should never be explained as a simple 'passing on'. Of course, she had to be violently murdered. The pain that Miku was feeling is normally explained as if having come from a horrible memory. She was supposed to remember everything, every moment of that day in gruesome, heart-shattering detail. Except reality isn't like a storybook. The only detail of that day that Miku could remember was the only one that she would have liked to have forgotten. It was the sight of her fiancée's ice blue eyes, entirely glazed over and unseeing, staring at everything and nothing all at once.
It wasn't the indescribably repulsive way in which she had been killed, but what Miku found most disturbing, was the fact that in that one instance, Luka's eyes reflected nothing. They were the deepest pool of emotions, the most beautiful sea of truth and affection, and in that instance, they had reflected absolutely nothing. When life got tough, Luka would soothe Miku's pain, looking into her with those eyes. When Luka would remain entirely composed, perhaps trying to keep a secret, the laughter in her eyes always gave her away. It was the blind eyes that haunted Miku's dreams, the feeling of Luka's death, loneliness, and emptiness that were reflected by the hollow irises. There was nothing else in the world that could have made Luka's death more final and sudden than her dull, lifeless eyes, void of all familiarity.
The reason that Miku had come to the grave two days ago, bringing only water to supplement her thirst, roses, and a can of tuna was simple. Had they actually gotten married, it would have been their anniversary week. She had set the tuna near Luka's tombstone, above her grave, and told her stories in a bittersweet voice that almost didn't crack. The water and roses are too obvious to need explanation, but she had brought the tuna along for one reason alone. If Luka decided to be alive, then she would know that Miku had thought of her.
Miku was now shivering, curled up against the freezing tombstone in the dark of night, as she had done for the past two nights. Her stomach was making loud protests to her lack of food, but she ignored them. Nothing would make her leave Luka on the week that they were supposed to spend together for all eternity.
" Loyal, she is."
Miku didn't even bother looking up at the scratchy voice that sounded in her ear. It was mocking and unkind, but a figment of her imagination nonetheless. The arms that she felt snaking around her waist with a hasty clumsiness, those were fake as well. Many times she had hallucinated the return of her beloved. The visions only increased in cruelty, and she had learned to ignore them in order to maintain the will to live. Nonetheless, she couldn't help and lean into the imaginary warmth, allowing herself to believe for a brief second that all was alright. What she hadn't expected was for the arms to remain.
Tilting her gaze downward, she quickly regretted submitting to her curiosity. Around her waist sat two translucent arms, most likely the next stage of her sleep-deprivation and traumatic stress induced hallucinations.
" Miku, why are you out here in the freezing cold?" came a voice. It was inarguably Luka's. Pulling away from the hallucinatory embrace and turning around, Miku managed to see the eyes of her dead fiancée.
" Luka…" she muttered, playing with her engagement ring. " Did you like my stories?"
Softening up for a bit, the hallucination smiled, taking a seat next to Miku, so that she sat opposite her own grave.
" Yes. They stopped me from feeling alone. I'm glad that you visit me often, it's horrible being unable to move, unable to speak… But Miku," Luka's expression turned to one of concern.
" This is unhealthy."
At this, Miku smirked.
" My psychiatrist, my friends, and now even my own subconscious is telling me that I'm insane."
A translucent hand placed itself on the side of Miku's face, knuckles barely skimming her cheek, so that imaginary Luka was looking at her as one would a fevered child.
" Miku…" when Luka spoke again, her voice sounded smaller. "Have I done this to you? Have I robbed you of your brilliant smile? Why do you refer to me as your subconscious?"
" Because I am aware that you are simply another hallucination." replied Miku bluntly, tilting her head slightly upwards so that she couldn't cry when her voice broke.
" Another hallucination? Miku, you are freezing, starving, and tired." said Miku's hallucination, concern lacing her voice,"We need to go home. I can't stand to see you like this."
" I won't leave Luka's side." Miku explained to her hallucination. " It was supposed to be our anniversary week, and I refuse to leave her alone during this time. Even doing it for work feels wrong…"
The imaginary Luka let this sink in, uncertain of how to respond.
" Miku," Luka began, uncertain of how to prove her credibility, " you wouldn't be leaving me alone. I plan on coming with you."
" Stop pretending to be her!" Miku exclaimed, leaping to her feet in an action that her frail body shouldn't have been able to make so intimidating, " You are just a hallucination, and no amount of subconscious manipulation will ever make me leave her side! Not…" Miku paused, losing what bravado she had managed to muster. " Not again, at least."
Luka was surprised by Miku's volume, but didn't flinch. Instead, she moved forward, raising her transparent hand to stroke Miku's cheek. It was a literal ghost of a touch, but Miku leaned into it all the same.
" How come I can feel your presence, but still move through you as if you were nonexistent?" She asked with closed eyes as she accidentally passed through Luka's hand. Luka waited a second before responding, pleased at her demi-success.
" That would be because it takes particular effort for me to interact with the physical world. I mean, it takes effort for me not to entirely dissipate at this point, but thankfully I won't, since I have something to hold on to." she said with a nonchalant wave of her partially visible hand. Miku understood none of this.
" So what does that make you, and what does that make me?" she asked quietly. A sudden wind caused Miku to shiver and reflexively pull her thin shawl over herself, and Luka frowned.
" I will explain this to you when we get home." she said sternly.
Miku frowned, and Luka thought that she was going to object. Instead, the young woman left a delicate kiss on the tip of Luka's tombstone, stroked it once, and stood up after muttering a 'goodbye', leading the way to her car. Silently, Luka followed. She tried to walk down the path that lead to the car park, but her feet kept falling through the ground. When she materialized further, she wound up bouncing and spinning through the night air. Miku turned around to look back at Luka, about to say something, but her words never made it past her lips. Instead, she covered her mouth with her hand, and tried to stifle laughter. Luka, looking as indignant as ever, was about three feet off of the ground and spinning slowly through the air. She folded her arms in defeat and waited until she would reach the ground, not meeting Miku's laughing eyes. Seeing Luka's disgruntled expression, Miku could only laugh a little bit more, giving up on muffling the sound with her hand.
Luka, who had finally reached the ground and managed to focus herself enough so that she didn't bounce immediately on contact. She took light, delicate steps, and barely levitated, staring at her progressing feet with intense concentration. Once she had finally reached Miku, she looked up, and saw the girl still attempting not to laugh. Luka cocked an eyebrow and sent Miku into hysterics, but was soon laughing along with the tealette.
Eventually they were composed enough to get into the car, and after some effort, Luka managed not to fall through the car seat. Soon enough, they were driving down the highway, and had arrived at their house without losing Luka through the floor or ceiling. Once they got inside, Luka had insisted upon Miku getting into something warmer and getting hot tea before they sat down and talked.
" Is there…" Luka began after Miku took her seat, fumbling with words for the first time in over two years. Miku looked at her expectantly, distrust entirely gone. " You know…" Luka continued, not making eye contact with her betrothed. Had she been entirely materialized, she would have blushed.
" Is there…?" prompted Miku, realizing that the conversation would get nowhere if she didn't say something.
" You know, someone else?" Luka braced herself for the answer, and took the silence that ensued as a negative sign. Miku stared at her for a second, bewildered. Luka had been too serious to be joking, and yet no one in their right mind would question Miku's loyalty to her.
" Are you…Serious?" the teal haired girl asked slowly, after a minute of complete silence.
" So there is someone, then." Luka sighed. Miku looked at her, and almost cried at the forlorn look of utter defeat that settled onto her face. " Of course-"
" No! Never!", Miku didn't hesitate to throw herself at her fiancée, forgetting that Luka was only partially materialized. She fell through the woman's lap, and felt only the material of her couch, as well as Luka's heat.
" I can and will never find another person like you, Luka Megurine, so please do not even consider the nonexistent possibility of my attraction towards anyone other than you." Miku rolled onto her back so that she could look up at Luka rather than move, and the sincereness in her eyes was evident.
" R-really?" asked Luka, looking down at her fiancée. Miku simply nodded, looking adorable despite no longer being sixteen. A comfortable silence followed. Miku closed her eyes, basking in Luka's presence. That instance of comfort made the two years of agony entirely worth living through.
" Missed you…" she murmured, feeling as if she could actually fall asleep for the first time in two years. Before she almost drifted off to sleep, an embarrassed cough from Luka reawakened her.
" Miku, if you wouldn't mind sitting up…" Luka spoke awkwardly, not meeting her eyes, "Sorry … You might not be able to feel me, but ah… I can still… feel… you."
Miku took a second to understand what Luka was saying, and then sprang into the air, squeaking an apology and scooting back to her original seat at the opposing end of the couch.
" I'm so sorry!" she squeaked again, eyes alert as she fiddled with her hands. Luka positioned her hands so that, had she been better materialized, they would have been resting on Miku's shoulders.
" Miku, it's fine. I was just startled, that's all." Luka quickly reassured her. " Anyway, I should be giving you an explanation as to why I am not…" Luka caught herself, noticing Miku's instant change of mood at the mention of her death, "Yeah. In all due fairness, I didn't believe that any of my theories were actually possible. You see, I gave you specific burial instructions for a reason." Luka cleared her throat and then continued speaking. " As you know, I was always a bit on the peculiar side when it came to pastimes, and I had a strong interest in ghosts." Miku nodded vigorously, causing Luka to chuckle. They both remembered the slightly older woman's intense obsession with everything supernatural, despite the fear that she also possessed. Luka smiled and continued talking.
" Yeah. Just a bit. Anyway, I had been doing quite a lot of research on the possibility of ghosts, and looked a little bit at all of the various theories. Of course, the one that I thought was right was actually not the one that helped me come back, but it was close enough to ensure that everything didn't backfire. Basically, a ghost is someone that is here, but not at the same time. To explain it as simply as possible to spare time, they, or we, I suppose, exist neither in the 'real world' or in Nirvana, Moksha… whatever you want to call it. We aren't exactly living, but we haven't integrated with the rest of the universe because there is something or someone that motivates our soul enough to pull us back. Now, to clarify, let me explain to you exactly how impossible it is to be a ghost, because I will probably never meet another ghost over the course of your life.
" The pull from whatever is motivating you to stay has to be incredible."
" Does that mean that you could disappear now?" asked Miku worriedly, losing her relaxed position and gripping the couch with white knuckles.
" No!" Luka spoke quickly, " Not at all. I had considered the possibility earlier, but now I know that it is not possible. I simply will not appear to most other people unless motivated to. Anyway, it's weird, because our physical forms are actually in between worlds. Like, if you were to dig up my coffin and look inside, my body wouldn't be there, due to my exceptionally unusual burial instructions… Since I wasn't entirely in this world, I was able to climb up through the earth with minimal effort, especially thanks to the words engraved on the stone."
Miku's eyes shot to the floor, and her grip on the couch tightened as she worried her lower lip. It was a simple message, one that she had stared at for hours at a time. Originally, as she had been reading Luka's will, those words had marked the point where she could no longer hold back her tears. Memories flooding her head, Miku squeezed her eyes shut and tensed, momentarily forgetting the fact that her fiancée was no longer entirely dead.
" L-Luka…" she was barely audible, speaking through clenched teeth with a voice that would make even the most hateful antagonist break down into tears of mourning. Luka was appalled. It wasn't that she hadn't seen Miku in states like this during their life together, but the fact that she could cause such raw pain in someone who she held dear was almost too much to bear. With a noise of sympathy, the woman tried to embrace her fiancée, but couldn't successfully hold her.
" I'm here…" said Luka, " Miku, I'm right here."
The young woman was shaking uncontrollably, clutching her head in her hands as small sobs escaped her lips. Luka, awestruck, could only sit there and hold her in a shadow of an embrace until she calmed down. When Miku finally finished crying, she curled up into a ball, establishing a gaze on the floor that was only interrupted by Luka's voice. Upon hearing a familiar sound, Miku looked up at her for a minute, eyes glassy, before she shook herself and resumed her usual demeanor.
" I'm sorry." she said sheepishly, playing with her fingers. Luka could only sit there with her mouth agape as the younger woman easily waved off a mental breakdown.
" Sorry?" Luka asked, appalled. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for! Miku, listen, you're hurt. And I'm the one that has hurt you." she shifted so that Miku could look into her moderately transparent eyes. " I'm here now, and you had better be sure that I'm not leaving you again. The reason that I can exist right now is because I am tied to you. You are my life bond. That's what I was in the process of explaining. The phrase displayed my love for you, and merged that love with my will to survive. Having words with such a meaning displayed directly above me helped bring me back to the physical world, although not entirely, hence the reason that I could move through my 'bed' and come to you. And the reason that I bounce upon contact with the ground, because I'm used to hefting my full weight around, and I still walk with enough force to do so."
It was very early in the morning, and Miku looked exhausted.
" Speaking of beds, we should both be getting some sleep. Come on." Luka stood up, and a dazed Miku followed closely behind.
" Hey Luka?" she asked tentatively, receiving a nod from the addressed woman, " Tomorrow can we work on finding the mu-murderer?"
A/N: I am considering writing a prequel, which would be more slice of life oriented, and feature their lives before Luka's murder. Please feel free to tell me whether or not that would be appreciated, all comments help! Also, is this fic something that people would like to read? I am ready to devote myself wholly to writing something that is (hopefully ) interesting, but don't honestly know what people want yet from my short career of writing for this website.