POKECIDE

WARNING: You are about to read the violentist and most bloodiest shit ever. Reader discretion is advised.

It was another violent, bloody day for me, the Pokeslayer. I just finished eating a fetus smoothy and got an idea. "I should go out and kill a bunch of Pokeymans!"

And so I did.

I ran into the fields and was instantly attacked by a flock of Pidgeys. I unloaded on them with my AK-47 and ran into the grass. I grabbed a

Rattata and snapped it's neck with my ankles before dashing into the next city. I asked a local guy where to find Pokeymans and he answered me.

I walked into the cave looking like Duke Nukem with all kinds of guns at my waist and bullets across my chest. I saw a small pink thing approach me.

"Clefairy" it said it's name. I stared it in the face yelled "TIME TO DIE!" and I shanked it, put 700 pounds of buckshot in it and ripped out it's eyes before shoving it into

my mouth and eating it on the spot.

"Delicious, tastes like marshmallows" I muttered and continued on my murdering spree. A hiker approached me for battle, but I capped his ass and moved on.

I got out of the cave after killing Geodudes, Zubats and Sandshrews. I went into town and walked to the gym.

"Are you here to challenge?" the leader said. "No" I said and I opened up my trenchcoat to reveal that I had a bomb strapped to my chest.

"Freeze, bitches." I said and jumped onto the leader and presses the button. BOOM! Everyone died except me cause I'm awesome.

Somebody called the cops, so I had to hide that night. I saw a Sneasel come out and approached it with a lit match. I held the match in my hand, poured gasoline on it and delivered a Butterbean style right hook to that motherfucker. "See? Humans can use firepunch too!" and then I stomped it's ass before the police came up behind me.

I shot every one of them and sliced off their heads. I continued my mission of murdering deathness. I found this faggot in a baseball cap and I Burning Hammered him onto the ground, breaking his neck and instantly killing him. I kidnapped his Pikachu and brought it home that night. I pulled out my tortute knife set and strapped the bitch down.

I grabbed a scalpel and went Nip/Tuck all over the place, slicing it's mouth into a smile.

"PIKAAAAAA!!!" I punched it. "Shut up, bitch!" and I grabbed the scalpel and sliced all over it's facebefore pulling out a bag of salt and dumping it on it.

It squealed with a noise like something from a nightmare. I kicked it in the jaw. To shut it up and began to choke it, I laughed watching it die.

That night I cooked it and Iate it, but my mission is not done. What will I go after next? Well let's just say that I'm an insomniac, and unless your name is

Cory Taylor then you can't put me to sleep by singing.