A/N: I BLATANTLY STOLE THE CROSS-DRESSING IDEA from a much better story by a lass known as ISOD. But don't worry, she did say it's okay for me to write this, so I bow down before her.
A/N 2: This story is designed to make you giggle. You may not giggle, but you should at least crack a grin (hopefully). Enjoy!
INTRODUCTION
"Okay," said Grissom. "Sara, Warrick, DB in Lake Meade. Catherine, home invasion in Henderson"
"What about us?" asked Nick, speaking for both himself and for Greg.
"Ah, I've got a special assignment for you two," said Grissom.
"What?" asked Greg.
"Undercover," said Grissom. "It's complicated, I'm not entirely sure what's involved, I just know it involves cross-dressing"
"WHAT!" said Nick.
"I dunno," said Greg. "Could be fun"
"FUN"
"That's the spirit, Sanders," said Grissom. "You and Nick will be dressing up and going under cover as drag queens"
"Oh no," said Nick. "Find someone else"
"Warrick?" asked Grissom.
"No way," said Warrick.
"There is no one else, Nicky," said Grissom.
"Well count me in," said Greg, with lots of enthusiasm.
"Thank you," said Grissom. "Nick"
Nick sighed. "Fine"
Sara laughed. "I can't wait."
SCENE 1- LAS VEGAS CRIME LAB: LOCKER ROOM
"Catherine, will you help me?" asked Greg. "I mean, I can do my eyeliner and all that, but I'm not so good with the ol' lipstick"
"Of course," said Catherine. "Which colour"
"Which one do you think will suit me?" asked Greg.
"This one," said Catherine, pulling out a neutral pink. She applied it to Greg's lips, and then helped him put his wig on. "Wow"
"So do I look like a drag queen?" asked Greg, standing up, and straightening his dress.
"No," smiled Catherine. "You look like a woman"
"What?" said Greg, going over to the mirror.
"You really do," said Catherine. "And you're gorgeous"
"Oh my goodness," said Greg, turning round and standing sideways. "If I met 'this' in a bar, I would so chat her up"
Catherine giggled. "So what are you calling 'this"
"I don't know," said Greg. "What do I look like"
"You look like a Fleur," said Catherine.
"Right," said Greg. "Fleur it is"
"Well, Fleur," said Catherine. "You have the most gorgeous figure"
"Stop," said Greg. "I am still a man"
"Yeah, but with a great figure," said Catherine. "I'm jealous"
"Shut up," said Greg.
"And, look at those legs," said Catherine.
"This isn't funny," said Greg.
"And that butt," said Catherine. "Wow"
"Stop," said Greg. He stormed out of the room on his four inch stilettoes. Catherine followed. "Greg, you're gorgeous!"
SCENE 2- LAS VEGAS CRIME LAB: BREAK ROOM
"I can't believe I'm doing this," said Nick. He and Sara were sat in the break room. Sara was helping Nick apply his make-up, but she kept laughing. "I can't help it"
"I'm glad you find it so funny," said Nick.
"Look," said Sara. "It won't be for that long, and you won't have to do it again, so why don't you just enjoy yourself"
"Dressed up as a woman?" said Nick.
"Yes," said Sara.
"Okay," said Nick, smiling. "I guess, if I'm just doing it once"
"Exactly," said Sara. "So, what are you calling yourself"
"No idea," said Nick. "What do I look like"
"Candice," said Sara, cracking a grin.
"Candice!" said Nick. "Are you kidding me"
"Not at all," said Sara.
The door to the break room opened, and a six foot blonde walked in. A black lace mini-dress, strappy sandals, blonde curly hair down past his shoulders. HIS shoulders.
"GREG!" said Nick and Sara simulatneously.
"Wow!" said Sara.
"You look amazing," said Nick.
"Thanks," smiled Greg.
"I'm done," said Sara.
"How do I look?" asked Nick.
"Great," said Sara.
Nick stood up.
"Greg, meet Candice," said Sara.
"Candice?" said Greg. "Hey, I'm Fleur"
"Nice to meet you," said Nick. He was wearing a long red dress, with a red feather boa. He was wearing flat shoes, because he couldn't find any stilettoes in his size. He had on a red wig, with curly hair that just reached his shoulders, and looked just like a drag queen.
"So, apparently," said Sara. "You come up with drag queen names by taking the name of the first pet you had, and the first street you lived in"
"Oh," said Nick.
"So that'd make me Cuddles Fontane," said Greg.
"Ah, that's adorable," said Sara. "Nick, what would you be"
"Tom 174th," muttered Nick.
"Pardon?" said Sara.
Greg laughed. "Tom 174th"
Sara giggled. "Ah, bless."
SCENE 3- LAS VEGAS CRIME LAB: RECEPTION
"I can't believe you changed in the car," said Greg. He and Nick had returned to the lab after their under cover work, which had gone well.
"I can't believe you want to stay like that," said Nick.
"Here, you missed a bit of lipstick," said Greg, running his finger across Nick's lip. Nick grabbed Greg, threw him against the wall, and kissed him.
"Y'know," said Greg. "You were hot as a woman, but you're even more hot as a man"
Nick smiled, and kissed Greg some more. He slipped his hands round Greg's waist.
SCENE 4- LAS VEGAS CRIME LAB: RECEPTION
"I'm so glad my shift is over," said Warrick.
"Yeah," said Catherine.
"Blam!" said Warrick, looking at Nick, stood in the corner of the room. "Check out those legs on the blonde Nick's kissing. Who is she"
"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed Catherine. "That's Fleur"
"Who"
"Greg"
"Damn, I did not know he had legs like those!" said Warrick. "Does Nick know that's Greg"
"I think he does," said Catherine, smiling to herself.
END