TIME
The first cup of coffee of the day in his hand, the apartment so quiet, it seemed the whole block was still asleep. John sighed this- had to be the best part of the day.
He knew it was only a lull. New York never slept; it only paused to catch its breath.
Turning on the TV, he put on CNN. A name caught his attention; he only heard part of the report, but the name seemed….he was not sure he had heard, or seen that name somewhere maybe on a report?
However, his train of thought was broken by his wife calling from the kitchen, "Turn that thing off. Breakfast's ready." One of the house rules was the family always had breakfast together.
As he walked to the kitchen, he just happened to look at the family photographs on the side table. There was one photo pushed to the back. He had never paid much attention to it before- it was of a group of young people. Four men and a smiling blond haired girl in the middle; three of the guys had crazy grins on their faces.
One, a short guy, with thick rimmed glasses, had his arm around the girl. The fourth young man seemed out of place; he stood aloof as if he was doing this against his will. While the three were grinning into the camera, he was looking at the young blond girl….the blond girl who was now calling for John to eat his breakfast.
Picking up the photo, John felt an odd uneasiness as he read the names on the back. His wife had come through from the kitchen, "John, it's on the table," She saw him looking at the photograph. "Why are you looking at that old thing?" She cursed herself for not throwing it away; sadly it was one of the last links to her past.
He replaced the photo, smiling at his wife, "There was something on the news. I only caught the name, same as on the back of this picture. Sheldon Cooper."
Penny had to steady herself against the door frame; she had not heard that name in five years. "What….what did it say about him?"
John was shocked by his wife's reaction; the colour had drained from her face. "You ok, honey?"
"John! Tell me what it said about him?"
"Penny, take it easy. It just said there had been trouble at City Hall and, he'd been hurt." John stared at his wife, trying to glean something, some clue from her face as to what was going on.
"John, I need you to run Lee to school, I have to go down town, ok?" Penny prayed he was not going to ask questions…questions she simply had no answers for.
"I'll explain everything when I get back." She tried to smile looking up at his face.
"I'll take care of Lee, but they'll never let you see him. You know that." John warned. He smiled as he looked at his wife. He dreaded what was about to happen, everything was starting to come apart.
Penny didn't have to answer him; he could see it in her face. Grabbing her purse, she walked back into the kitchen, "Your father's taking you to school. We're not going to have a problem with that are we?"
Lee didn't look up from his book, "Perish, the thought Mother."
Penny shook her head. It was frightening at times- his little ways, the things he said like: We'resonotgoingtherenotnownotever, "Just be good, see you later." She still found it strange talking to a five year old boy, as if he were an adult.
Shortly after Penny left, John was standing at the sink washing the breakfast things. He turned his head to look at his son… his son.How easy that word rolled off the tongue. Although he was not his son by blood, he had tried to raise him as his own. He could remember the day as if it were yesterday; it had been something out of an old Hollywood movie- guy standing on the platform at Penn Station, sees a young woman trying to carry her baby and a suit-case. He goes to help said young woman. The rest,as they say,is history.
The whole sad, sickening, truth was eating him alive.
John was snapped from his thoughts by his son's voice, "I'm ready to go, Father."
"Are you sure you have everything?"
Lee patted his messenger bag, "Positive, Father."
As they walked out to the car, John's uneasiness returned. It lay like bile in the pit of his stomach. He knew this thing that was eating away at his insides was the knowledge of who Lee's real father could be.
Penny could not even start to understand her own feelings; she had born all the years of loneliness in silence. Knowing John was a good man and a good father to her son, don't make up for the fact that Penny didn't love him. John had always known she could never love him but he seemed content just to have them in his life. Now she was racing through the city to a man she was not even sure she knew anymore.
A quick phone call had gotten her the number of his hospital room. However, no amount of name dropping was going to get her past the two armed guards standing by his door.
But then she heard an unmistakeable voice from her past, "Hi bestie."
Penny turned hardly believing her eyes, "Amy, my God! Look at you." Gone was the pasty looking, brown-haired, glasses wearing nerd. The woman before Penny was blond, tanned and brimming with confidence.
The two friends threw themselves into each other's arms. Penny was the first to break the hug, "God, Amy you look incredible." Amy smiled as her friend held her at arm's length.
"Well, Penny there is little point in being married to, if I do say so myself, one of the hottest and richest men in the world without having the odd up-grade."
Penny's, jaw almost hit the floor, "You mean you and?" Penny pointed to the door behind them.
Amy, burst out laughing, "Sheldon, may be kind of cute, but he's no Faisal."
Penny was now very conscious that the two guards were watching her.
"So, what are you doing here anyway?"
Amy shrugged, looking over to the door, "Just looking up old friends, and Faisal had business in the city."
Penny, too looked over at the heavily guarded door, "So, have you seen him yet?"
"Yes. I was in his room earlier; he's doing well. I'm going back in now, come on.
I'm a little surprised you were able to find his room, Penny."
Penny's answer was brief, "I'm on home ground; I work here."
Amy quickly spoke to the guards, who allowed them to enter Sheldon's room. Penny stood by the door not trusting herself to go closer to his bed. Five years, five long lonely years, now she was within ten feet of him and words failed her.
Amy had walked up to the bed, "Sheldon, there's someone to see you." Amy moved to one side, so he could look over at the door.
Penny slowly walked across the room, "Hello, Sheldon." She was at a loss as to what to say. She badly needed to do something with her hands; she crossed her arms across her chest almost as if she were hugging herself. "How are you? No one's saying what happened."
For the first time in oh so many years, Penny felt those soft light blue eyes turn to look at her. "Hello Penny, to answer your question. I'm as well as I could ever hope to be in this germ infested hell hole they call a hospital." He looked around the room, as if he expected something to jump out of the very walls.
If Penny had not felt sick to her stomach about this whole situation, she would have laughed. "Glad to see you're feeling better Sheldon."
"Sarcasm, Penny? It hardly seems fitting."
Penny shook her head; everything else could change but he was still Sheldon. "I'm impressed how well you can spot it now." She saw the slightest upward movement at the corners of his mouth.
"You'd be surprised how well I can spot things now. Penny." He glanced around the room, before looking at the two doctors and, three men in black suits who stood by the door. "Clear the room. Everyone out. Amy, would you mind waiting outside," Sheldon held out his hand. "Penny, stay a moment." As Amy walked to the door she nodded to Sheldon. Before leaving she smiled at Penny whispering, "Time can be a very fickle friend."
Penny frowned, 'What the hell did that mean? As the door closed behind Amy, Penny turned back to the bed. "I'll not ask how you are Sheldon, as we both know I'll never understand your answer."
If it were possible it could be said Sheldon looked almost amused. "A valid point, but, if I may, a more important question would be why are you here?" With his eye-brows raised a little and his head tilted ever so slightly, Penny had to smile, as memories of happier times came flooding back.
Her smile slipped a little, remembering a five year-old boy who had the same mannerisms.
"Ok, Sheldon I'll answer that, but you go first. Why are you in New York?"
"That's quite simple, Penny. I'm here on business, but, to return to my original question, why after four years, ten months and eight days have you come here? After all you're careful and complex planning, to keep me from finding you, this visit would seem to be counterproductive."
Penny stood in front of this man, this man whom she had loved, hated, despised and then loved again, all within five years. "I don't know why I'm here Sheldon. I don't even know why I wanted to see you. I just did."
Sheldon, clearly in some pain, sat up in bed, "That, Penny is a totally nonsensical and highly emotional answer."
"Well, Sheldon, you may remember. I can be a very emotional person and hardly ever make sense out of anything."
"The curse of an eidetic memory," Sheldon sighed. "I remember everything."
She was a little taken aback, seeing the look of anguish that came over his face.
"I'm sorry, Sheldon. I didn't mean to upset you."
"Why should you be sorry?"
"Sheldon, please I came here to talk." Penny could see he had regained his composure. He was going to talk or have her thrown out.
"Very well, Penny. On which subject would you like to start this conversation? Perhaps the promotion you've just received, at this very hospital? Or how well your son is doing at his studies? Tell me, Penny, just what would you like to talk about?" Sheldon's face had become flushed; his eyes had narrowed to mere slits. "Maybe how I let my sister be killed in the Texas riots." Sheldon's voice trailed off into a dry sob.
Penny was in shock. She sat on the edge of the bed, her hand clutched to her throat.
"Dear God, I'm so, so sorry Sheldon."
The look on his face had gone from one of sadness to a one of bitterness. "I leave the subject of God to my Mother."
"How are you to blame for Missy being killed, Sheldon? There were hundreds killed that day."
"Only one person concerned me."
Penny made to reach for his hand, but then thought better of it.
They sat just looking at each other for a moment, before Penny stood up. "Maybe I should go; it was a bad idea coming here anyway." She moved towards the door, stopping at the sound of his voice.
"How is the boy?"
Four little words hit her like a hammer blow; her head snapped round as if she had been slapped. "What are you talking about?
Sheldon smiled but there was little warmth in it, "Our son Penny. I believe you called him Lee. Thank you for that."
Penny stormed across the hospital room to the bed till she was only inches away from him. "Don't you dare even think about my son. You gave up any right to him a long time ago."
"People change. Penny. I've changed."
She turned away from him, moving to stand by the window.
"I'm married now; I have a good life a son and a man who loves me."
The smile on Sheldon's face never faulted, "A love that is unrequited?"
"Go to hell Sheldon; it's too late for us."
"Oh, Penny, hell holds no horrors for me. I've lived in my own for too long now, but I do know that it's never too late….everyone deserves a second chance."
"Sheldon, unless you've been able to perfect your time-machine, we can't turn back the clock. I'm sorry, I need to go."
"Penny before you leave, just hear me out. Your reluctance to allow me back into your life is understandable, if not slightly misplaced. I have only the interests of you and my son at heart."
Sheldon's face was totally without emotion, but Penny, even after so long apart, could still read his eyes. "Wow, you almost had me there Sheldon, but you over played it with the heart thing."
Sheldon shrugged, "One must play the hand one is dealt, but things are happening that are far beyond your realm of understanding. Penny, I'm serious about wanting to be part of your life again, a part of Lee's life."
Penny crossed to the door, stopping with her hand on the door handle, turning to look over her shoulder. "I'm sorry Sheldon, maybe in a perfect world. Maybe we could have caught a break, had a second chance."
He sighed as the door closed, "You'll never know how sorry I am, Penny." Sheldon reached over and pressed a small button by his bed. In a moment the three black suits re-entered the room. Sheldon was looking through some papers and did not look up, "You have your assignments. Get on with it."