Shake Up An Eating Disorder
Cy and Reuce
Summary
Title basically says it all. It's about Cece having an eating disorder. Based on the song 'caurage' by 'Superchic(k)' ONE-SHOT
XXXXXCece's POVXXXXX
"What'cha wanna eat, CeCe?" Rocky asks me while smiling.
This is all just a game now. "Actually I ate before I came and now I don't feel well." I say weakly. I can't even explain it. It's like I just play a game. A game of lies. I like so much now days. I never thought I'd lie to my bestfriend though. Especially about something like this.
"Oh, ok." Rocky says slightly confused. Why don't I just tell her? Why can't I just say "Rocky, I have an eating disorder."? It would be as simple as that. I doubt she would judge me. Well, I hope she wouldn't.
"Wanna get on Facebook?" I suggest happily, trying to change the subject.
"Sure." Rocky says with a grin.
We get on and we first go to my profile. Ooh! I got a comment on a picture I posted.
It says "Wow, CeCe! You look great! Have you lost weight?". Yes, yes I have. I need to lose more though. Well, my scale says I have. I don't believe it though. I hate being alone. I cry so much nowdays! It's like I can't stop! It seems like everthing's changing and I don't know how much more I can take.
"You do look like you've lost weight." Rocky points out.
"I should take that as a compliment, right?" I ask with a chuckle. Of course it's a compliment! Sometimes though, I wish people knew I'm 'not through the night' and some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light' ya know? I wish someone would just tell me that it'll all be okay and I'll make it. I'm tired of always feeling like this. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I only wanna be okay.
"Well, actually I have something to ask-" Rocky starts.
"Hello ladies!" Ty interrupts with a flirty smile. Oh Ty... I know he's a ladies man and he likes to flirt with anyone and anything, but I'd do anything to know he's actually flirting with me. To be honest he's one of the reasons I'm trying to lose weight. It's hard though because every time I see him I have to make sure my breath don't still smell from throwing up. I don't know the first time I felt so unbeautiful. Maybe the day I chose not to eat? Probably. When I first realized how ugly and fat I am, I decided right then and there, to loose weight. I think I've actually changed my life forever and I don't like it... I feel like I should know better because my mom always told me what's right and what's wrong. The same woman who's never around? a voice asks. Well, yeah, she wasn't ever really there. But she's a cop! So she has to be loyal to her job!
There are days when I'm okay like when me and Rocky go to Shake It Up! Chicago and dance. I feel fine. (A lot of that though is because I'm burning calories when I dance) When I'm burning calories there, sometimes I find hope. But there are still days when I'm not okay and I wish Ty or Rocky, or even Deuce could help me. I feel alone, and small, and I feel really scared. Maybe I'll just let go! Yeah, that's what I'll do! Maybe tomorrow...
"Hey Ty." I say smiling coolly. I'm not cool though. I'm stupid, ugly, worthless, and pathetic. I just need them to know, that I'll be okay soon. I just need time and when I lose weight I'll be great! I wish that I could just tell Ty! And Rocky and Deuce. 'Cause I know we'd be able to make it through together!
"Wow, ummm, CeCe, when was the last time I seen you?" Ty asks confused.
"Uhhhh about 2 weeks ago. Why?"
"Uhhh, no reason... You just look... Different."
"A good kind of different?" I ask annoyed of why he won't tell me what he means.
"Uhhh, sure." He says and hurriedly walks out of the room. I bet he got freaked out about how fat I look. I think my scale's broke because it says I've lost weight, but I know I've gained. I have to have.
XXXXXTy's POVXXXXX
"Wow, ummm, CeCe, when was the last time I seen you?" I ask confused. CeCe's lost a lot of weight! She's skin and bones! Oh my god! That's what Rocky said she needed to talk to CeCe about! But CeCe can't have an eating disorder though. She's CeCe Freakin' Jones. She's the happy, airhead, spunky, and over-all insane girl that everyone loves! She's the girl I'm also trying to get the nerve to ask out. That's right! I, Tyler Blue, like Cecelia Jones.
"Uhhhh, about 2 weeks ago. Why?"
"Uhhh, no reason... You just look... Different."
"A good kind of different?" CeCe asks annoyed. Why is she annoyed? I hear people with eating disorders experience mood swings. What am I thinking? CeCe does not have an eating disorder!
"Uhhh, sure." I say and walk out of the room as fast as I can.
This can't be happening! Why is CeCe losing so much weight? Cancer? No. Sick? No. That only leaves an eating disorder! Maybe I should talk to Rocky. She would know wouldn't she? God, I can't get over how tiny she is! She looks so fragile and broken! I just want to help her.
Oh thank goodness! Rocky just came out of the room... With a worried look? Oh no. This is starting to get out of hand!
"Is CeCe okay?" I ask nervously.
"I don't know anymore Ty." Rocky says and wipes tears from her eyes.
"What happened?" I ask confused. Rocky almost never cries.
"I'm just getting really worried about her. She's been losing a lot of weight and I just offered her, her favorite ice-cream and she just looked around with like, a nervous expression on her face and said "I uhhh, I'm still not very hungry."." Rocky says sadly.
"Has she ever turned it down before?"
"This is the fourth day in a row."
"Maybe she's just sick?"
"No, because you can tell when she's sick."
"What are you trying to say?" I ask nervously.
"Promise you won't tell anyone?" Rocky asks hesitantly.
"I promise." I say coolly. I am not cool! I'm freaking out! Oh my god! What's wrong with CeCe?
"I- I think CeCe has an eating disorder." Rocky says crying. She thinks so too? Crud...
"I do too..." I say quietly. "Should we talk to her about it?"
"Give me time, Ty... I just kind of need to process this for a minute." She says while holding her stomach.
"Are you, okay?" I ask confused.
"Yeah, I just ummm, can't believe it." she says sadly. I know I'm her older bother and should be making fun of her for crying, but I know what I have to do... I then give her a... Hug... It's a rather "un-Ty" like thing to do, but she looked like she needed it.
"It'll be okay. We just need to talk to her about it." I say firmly.
"Y-You're right. Can we talk to her now?" Rocky asks hopefully.
"Are you sure?" I ask worriedly. Am I ready for this? Can I handle if she denies it? Can I handle if she doesn't deny it? Why can't I stop asking questions?
"Yeah, lets do it!" She says confidently. She not confident though... She looks scared out of her mind! I give her a look of 'It'll be okay' as I take her hand.
We walk back into that room together and see CeCe's confused gaze on our hands. I wonder what this looks like. Incest maybe? Bwahahahahaha! I must never think that again...
XXXXXCeCe's POVXXXXX
Uhhh, what's going on? Oh my god! Rocky my bestfriend stole my crush! And that crush is her brother! Nooo! This can't be happening! And they came in here to tell me that they're, uhhhh, 'incesting'? And getting married in Vegas, then they'll be moving to CA! Oh my god... They're going to have kids with four toes on one foot and six on the other! And then-
"CeCe we have a question..." Rocky starts nervously as she lets go of Ty's hand.
"No, I'm not okay with you guys 'incesting'..." I say stupidly. But then again everytihng I say and do is stupid. That's just part of being me. I don't wanna be me.
"Umm, okay... We're okay with that..." Ty says confused.
"So you aren't 'incesting'?" I ask happily.
"There's no such thing as 'incesting'!" Rocky blurts out annoyed. I knew I was wrong. I'm just so stupid I should like, stop talking.
"Then what did ya guys wanna ask me?" I ask coolly.
"Umm, there's no way to ask this, but uhh-" Ty starts nervously until Rocky cuts in.
"Anorexic?" Rocky cuts in worriedly. Busted.
"What're you talking about?" I ask sickly. They can't know! I know I wanted their help, but not like this! How could they know? I wanna be sick! Well, that would make me lose more weight... But still! I'm so nervous! Ty will never like me now!
"CeCe, don't think we haven't noticed you losing so much weight. We're worried about you." Ty says sincerely. Is he really?
"I... I-" I start and I can already feel tears in my eyes, well, I don't think they're there anymore... I think it's time to come clean. "You're right. I am Anorexic."
"You're just telling us like this? I thought you'd put up a lot more of a fight!" Rocky says shocked.
"You'd be suprised at how tired I am of fighting." I say weakly, but I really did mean it. I am tired of fighting.
"What do you mean? Why didn't you ask us for help?" Ty asks confused.
I just smile knowingly and answer "I fought by myself for so long it just got harder to ask for help... I'm actually suprised I'm even telling you all of this.". It's the truth.
"You should know you're not on your own. Those secrets were what was keeping you alone. I didn't know this before, but I know now that you're stronger than any girl I know. We'll make it through somehow... Togther..." Ty says seriously. Does he really think that? Am I really not on my own? I always thought that I was on my own. It's weird thinking I'm not alone now. I never thought of the secret thing like that... Was the secret itself what was keeping me alone?
"I didn't know you guys felt that way... So uhhh, should I tell you everything else now?" I ask awkwardly.
"That would be nice." Rocky says with a chuckle.
"Ok then... I need you to know... I'm not through the night and some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light... And we'll be okay. Togther... We can make it through another day. I'll try and stop trowing up..." I say and put my head down. I know what I said was corny. It was actually almost exactly what that song that Superchick does, 'Courage'? Yeah, that's what it's called. But anyway, that's what the song courage says. It's a pretty decent song.
"We will be okay... CeCe you have more courage than a lot of girls." Rocky says sweetly.
"Thanks you guys are awesome." I say, wipe my eyes, then hug them.
"We love you." Ty says and by the time he said it, Rocky had already let go, so it was just him and I hugging.
"I love you too." I say without realizing. Did I just tell him I love him? Oh my god! I so just totally ruined the moment!
"Y-you love me?" Ty asks shocked.
"Well, I uhhh, yeah... And don't say you love me too because of everything I just said!" I command matter of factly.
"I love you too." He says sheepishly.
"Really?" I ask hopefully.
"Really." He says with a cheeky smile.
"I feel like I'm interrupting..." Rocky says awkwardly.
"Well, it's about to get a heck of a lot more awkward in here." Ty says and I look at him confused. He then kisses me passionatly.
"Woa." Rocky mutters.
"Woa, chicas'!" Deuce says apperantly shocked.
"Yup, I think they're dating now." Rocky whispers with a chuckle.
"Well, that'll be interesting." Deuce says and leans in to kiss Rocky. Rocky looks shocked! Well, atleast she'll finally get her first kiss!
Ty and I kiss again, but this one is different... I like it.
END
A/N
I know! ANOTHER eating disorder story LOL I'll try and cut myself off LOL. But I don't know why, I just like writing about eating disorders :)
Trinty Out
Peace!