Summary: Alex has been sent on an assignment to Hogwarts to learn how magic works. But when he's there, he discovers that he's a wizard... Will Alex get along with his fellow classmates? Find out!

Additional Details: Set in the same year as the trio during The Prisoner Of Azkaban. Alex will be kept as not OOC as possible, as will the rest of the characters. Alex is thirteen. Hope it's good!

Hi guys! I know you all hate abnormally long author notes, but it's just going to be for the first chapter! Well, first. I'd just like to let you know that this is a parody, the Harry Potter series with Alex Rider thrown in. Hope that's good with you. Second. I'm not only going to be writing Alex Rider and Harry Potter stories. I write some Pokémon too, but not on a regular basis. Third. No flames. And fourth. Tell me if you like the story in the reviews. Fifth. I'll start the story in a moment. Seventh. [INSERT RANDOM BUT AWESOME JOKE HERE]

Chapter One: Owl Post

"Alex! You have mail!" Alex's housekeeper, Jack Starbright, called out from the kitchen. It was a Monday morning, but it was also a public holiday. Alex still wasn't out of bed.

"Urgh..." Alex groaned. He fell out of bed onto the floor, then got up tiredly. He scanned his room for a moment until he found a t-shirt, jacket and jeans. He dragged them on, then stumbled down the staircase to find the mail. It was laying on the kitchen table in a pile of other envelopes containing bills, waiting for him. He walked over, after tripping on his left foot and falling.

"You okay, Alex?" asked Jack, rushing over to help him up. "Here, I haven't opened it yet." She pulled it out of the pile and handed it to him.

"Thanks, Jack." Alex said groggily. He took it. It had a strange red seal in the shape of a 'H'.

"You know, that was the strangest delivery I ever had." said Jack. "An owl came pecking on the window with that tied to its leg. And in broad daylight, too!"

Alex glanced out the window. It wasn't exactly daylight, but it wasn't night time either.

"In broad daylight?"

"Yes. Weird, don't you think?" She went over to the frying pan, which was sizzling as if being cooked on hot lava. She pulled a wooden spoon out of a drawer and pulled out the pancake that was resting inside.

"Yeah." He prised off the seal with his fingernails, trying not to pull off any of the envelope. There were a few pieces of ancient-looking paper inside. He pulled out the first one and started to read.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. Of Wizards)

Dear Mr. Rider,

We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1st September. We await your owl by no later than 1st July.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall Deputy Headmistress

Alex didn't believe what he was reading. He pulled out the second piece of parchment.

Uniform

Third year students will require:

1. Three sets of plain work robes(black) 2. One plain pointed hat(black) for day wear 3. Two pairs of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar) 4. One winter cloak(black with silver fastenings) Please note all pupil's clothes must carry name tags

Set Books All students should have a copy of each of the following:

The Standard Book Of Spells (Grade Three) by Miranda Goshawk A History Of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot Magical Theory by Albert Waffling A Beginner's Guide To Transfiguration by Emeric Switch One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore Magical Drafts And Potions by Arsenius Jigger Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander The Dark Forces: A Guide To Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble

Other Equipment

1 wand 1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2) 1 set glass or crystal phials 1 telescope 1 set brass scales

Students may also bring an OWL, a CAT, a RAT or a TOAD

Alex's head spun. If Hogwarts was real and the note was authentic, then how would he get there? Where would he get his things? As if to answer his question, a small train ticket fluttered out of the envelope. He picked it up off the floor. Its platform number was 'Platform Nine and Three Quarters'. There WAS no Platform Nine and Three Quarters.

"Jack?"

"Yes, Alex?"

"Look at-" At that moment, the doorbell rang.

Haha! Does anyone like it? Also, I'd like to recommend Sugilite Purple's story, Rider at Hogwarts. It's awesome! Please R&R!