More angst, because I feel angsty right now… But don't worry, It ends happy.
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I knew that it would never work out. I knew it right from the very beginning. I decided that I didn't care- the now was all I cared about.
Not the future, or the past. I didn't think of how it would effect anyone else, I only thought about what I wanted. I sometimes wonder
what would have happened if you didn't respond that first night, out by the lake. We would have just continued on as we had, I suppose;
me, ignoring what I felt for you, and you… You just were completely oblivious. Maybe if I had suppressed it then I would still be able to
feel now. But I can't. You broke me, or I broke myself. Now all that I feel is nostalgia when I see you, James and Peter laughing in the
corridors. I've taken to sleeping in the Shack, so as not to have to share the dorms with you three. Whenever I see you, you don't seem
to have taken this the way I did. I suppose you are just dealing with it differently than I am. But how can you act so normal? Once in a
while, I see you in the library, looking lost. I can never go talk to you, or hold you like I want to. I just can't. As much as I wish I could
or I would, I can't. And then one day you walked up to me, and there was a ray of sunshine, poking through the clouds around the
castle.