I sit on the balcony of my apartment. So long ago was the company housing, so long ago yet it still fills my mind.
A photograph of Ryoki sits in a picture frame I hold to me.. Why is it so hard to get rid of it? I want to through it off the balcony, no that would be stupid. But then when haven't I been?
"Mama?" A soft voice calls. I turn around. A small child stands in faded sailor moon pajamas, coughing into her hand.
"I'm sorry Mizuku, come here." She smiled weakly. Mizuku runs to me and continues to cough.
I hold Mizuku to me, and look at her. A mirror image of Ryoki, it almost hurts to look at her sometimes. I sigh and put the framed picture down. Mizuku coughs again, breaking away my thoughts.
"Mama, I don't wanna go to school tomorrow." She whimpers. I nod and carry her into our room. A bunk bed sits against the wall, the bottom covered in papers, my own, the top covered in dolls and toys.
"Try and sleep, I'll call Akane to watch you. I have a shift to work till late." I told her wrapping a blanket around her. She looked up at me, with his eyes.
"Will Akane bring Subaru?" She smiles. I laugh slightly and nod.
"Mama, Subaru said he couldn't come last time cause he was with Ryoki, whose Ryoki?"
Tears wanted to form in my eyes, why couldn't they just disappear? I look away.
"Subaru's friend. He owns a company not far from here." I manage. She nods and yawns.
"Night Mama." She whispers. I kiss her forehead and go into the living room. The phone rings, and I jump in surprise.
Once I get the feeling back in my knees, I pick it up and hold it to my ear. "Hello?"
"Hatsumi?"
"Shinogu, hi." I breath a sigh of relief. Everytime I hear it ring, I think it could be him, finally finding me...
"Mom and dad want us to come over and eat dinner tomorrow."
"I can't, Mizuku is sick."
"Mizuku?" I gasp. I had been so relaxed I forgot. Shinogu didn't know about her! He couldn't!
"My cat." I lie stupidly.
"Oh. Then take it with you. Come on Hatsumi, you know I don't like to eat over there, I only go to see you."
My heart skips ten beats. I think ten, if not twelve. To see me. Why do these stupid memories come back all the time. That Shinogu didn't want to be my brother. He loves me. Or loved. Either way I stand in shock.
"Hatsu?" He says for the tenth time. I cough to give myself a few more moments, then talk again.
"I'm here. I'll come, but I may be a bit late."
"No problem, I'll be late too."
"I have to go, I have a shift in a few minutes." I say staring at my watch. He says bye, and I say the same.
I change clothes, then dial Akane's number. She answers in her usual giggly voice.
"Helloo?"
"Hi Akane, its Hatsumi, can you watch Mizuku for a while?" I say softly.
"Sure, Subaru'll come too. We'll be right over." She hangs up and I breath a sigh of relief.
As I clean up the living room, I think back, memories flashing through my head.
I stood alone in the elevator with Akane whose arguing with me.
"Its his baby Hatsumi! You can't just disappear with it!"
"Akane, he's got a big important future. I mean I'm moving out anyway."
"But you were going to move in with him." She says sadly.
"I was, I called him and broke us up, and if you or Subaru tell him I'll move farther away! He can't know." Tears trickled down my face.
"Oh Hatsu." She said weakly. She walked me to the train, and then took me home.
I put the remains of my lunch in the fridge, half a pizza. Once I manage to get the kitchen done, Akane walks in with Subaru on her arm.
"Hey Hatsu, another late shift huh." She sighs seeing me busy cleaning the counter.
"I know, I should call in sick. I mean with Mizuku sick and I never see her that often..."
"No that's not it! You're being just like Shinogu used to be. Work work work!"
"I can't help it, I have a lot of things to pay for, and Mizuku goes through clothes so fast.." I stop and cough hysterically into my hand. It feels like my lungs are going to explode.
"Oh Hatsu your sick, I'm calling you in sick, Subaru help her get to the couch." She commands leaving.
"No Akane, I can't miss work!" I say as Subaru pulls me into the living room. She sure made him assertive.
"You'll be fine Hatsumi. I'll call Shinogu if you want and I'll have him bring some..."
"No! No Shinogu!" I scream. He gives me a confused look and I sit down on the couch.
"Its just that he doesn't know about Mizuku and I don't want him to." I calm down. Akane walks in with a cup of tea.
"Drink that up." She orders. I cough again and nod. Subaru goes to check on Mizuku, and Akane's gaze falls on my table. I stare as well. Ryoki's picture. He grins at us, with me beside him blushing.
"I guess I forgot to put that away." I mutter aloud. She picks it up and looks at it a moment.
"He misses you." She sighs. "He's called me, and Subaru looking for you. I told him if he asked mom that I'd tell you to go away again."
Tears fill my eyes, and I only hold them back with the last bit of strength I have. "Is he okay?"
She looks at me, then puts the picture face down. "Of course not Hatsu, the man's lost the love of his life."
A/N that was a good 1st chapter. Thanks a bunch for reading. Review please