And then Barney the dinosaur appeared out of nowhere, and ate them all. He turned into a mysterious and magical rainbow flying poop, and flew around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around. Michael Jackson did the "Thriller", and fastforwarded "Nutcracker" music began to play until the chipmunks looked like they were constipated; they were bouncing up and down with their eyes bulging. Bigfoot spontaneously tiptoed into a cave with his Ti-84 graphing calculator, and in Russia, a man ate bread. Bill Clinton put on a green leotard and began flashing disturbing poses at the paparazzi, and Sakura slobbered on Snape, trying to lay her mark on him before he got devoured by HarryxSnape fangirls. Sasuke tried to poop out the stick that was stuck up his ass.
Naruto became a fish cake, and then suddenly, the sun turned moldy and purple. Voldemort did the Irish jig in his totally fabulous yellow polka-dot bikini, and when he got thirsty, he drank expired milk from Naruto's fridge and got indigestion. And then they all logged onto their Facebooks to start moles-er, I mean, poking, each other, because they were just that sexy.
Moral of the story?
Yes, my children: flames make you warm and toasty. Let's make s'mores and live happily ever after.