You Only Spy Once
The shadows cast dark lines down on the mahogany floor boards as I paced the corridor for what seems like the hundredth time. He was gone again and I was alone. But that's not why I was worried. No. There were plenty of times when Zach Goode went on his own little missions in the middle of the night. The thing that worried me was the fact this was the first time, he hadn't mentioned it to me.
Standing here alone in the corridor for fifth time this month, I thought about where he had gone. Roseville, wandering like he usually does, I guessed. But why would he hide that?
I leaned against a wall and slowly lowered myself down until I was sitting on the floor. I saw at the clock for something to do but I already knew it was thirty-six minutes past one.
Another night, I would be interrogated about where I had been. My answer was always the same; library/I smelt waffles depending on the time. The waffle excuse seemed to work the best especially when Liz sleeps, eats and breathes in the library and is always there.
Christmas was odd and for the first time in my eighteen years I wanted to as far away as possible from Grandpa and Grandma. I had known since last summer and I still know it now.
I'm not safe.
In some ways, things were a lot better than last term. Y'know the one where I lost my memory, everyone thought I was psycho, turns out I was and I gave away one of the most important pieces of information in Gallagher Girl history and almost got killed by my sorta-kinda boyfriend's mother who happens to be part of a group who wants me dead. To put it lightly last term was not by any definition of the word good. But even now, from the safely of the only place I've ever really been able to call home, I'm not really fine.
But things are a lot better in terms of trust. My mom finally isn't afraid of giving me pieces of information, my friends could actually treat me like I was sane and Zach… well this was something of a new ground for us.
There were so many things pointing at us not to be together and for the first time in the entire time I know Zach we could actually be together! And not just in the literal term this time. He went to my school, we had the same classes, and we were both as safe as we could ever be. And yet, something just wasn't right between us. And I can't quite make out what.
My spy clock had returned and it told me it was two a.m. And I had CoveOps in the morning. I bushed myself off from the floor and took one last glance down the corridor. But Zach never came.
The room was quiet, much quieter than usually. Briskly, I headed towards my dormitory up through the right of the tower. I glanced out of the window while pausing after walking up the stairs. It was a calm and peaceful night. Cold but crisp and surprisingly not wet considering it was November.
I opened the door as slightly as I could (and considering I'm skilled in being inconspicuous it wasn't much of a feat). Creeping into my bed, breathing as silently as possible, I let out a sigh of relief. I had done it.
But then as the light flicked on from Bex's bed and all three of my roommates send me accusing glances, I was reminded being skilled at being inconspicuous may not work when up against three brilliantly trained operatives.
"What gave me away?" I asked.
"Where were you?" Macey said, coldly.
I looked at her, her hair still perfectly in place and her skin was flawless like in the movies, where the girl wakes up with full make up and non-bed hair. But there was something different that made Macey entirely different from the girl from the chick-flick. There was worry in her eyes, the kind that made me feel ashamed knowing I had caused it.
Looking down to the bed quilt I was sitting on I mumbled, "I wasn't running away if that's what you were thinking."
"Cammie, can you honestly blame us for considering you'd run away considering your reputation?" Bex countered.
"I thought everything was cleared up now, I'm not running away if it wasn't for Dr. Steve-"
"He wasn't there the first time was he?" The voice cut me off, barely a whisper. Liz… her eyes big and wide. I longed to see some naivety in there but Liz's innocence was long gone. But then all of our innocence was long done.
"Guys, I was just in the library. I just… I just need to know we are prepared for what happens next," I said, pleading for someone to believe in me.
"Well, how are we supposed to know what happens next? We've got information, they've got information. We're even. Anyway, we wait for your mom to make a decision." Liz said.
"We take down the circle, that's what happens." Bex said. "We actually know we're fighting against. And anyway, no more midnight walks. Not alone."
"I wasn't alone, Zach was tailing me." I told them, finding it slightly scary how easy it was to lie to them.
"At least one of us is on the ball," Macey growled.
"Well if Liz had let me apply the electric shock again -" Bex began.
"I thought the risk was over, with Dr. Steve gone…"
"Guys!" I half shout, afraid to raise my voice too loud in case I woke up others. They all turned to look at me.
"Why can't you trust me again?" I find myself saying. I had gone through an entire term full of suspicion surrounding me. My own friends didn't trust me. My own mother didn't trust me. I didn't trust me. But ever since we found out I'd been hypnotised and brainwashed and now had a clear head, I thought I could be trusted; I was back on the same side. However lately, I feel even more like an enemy that needed to be watched and prodded.
A silence filled the room. I waited for an answer.
"Because we just can't afford to lose you again," Bex said as she hit the lights.