Hello! This is my very first fan fiction! Comments are SO appreciated, as well as constructive critisism- :-)

Chapter 1 - Thinking of You

Prologue

The croud went wild, the cheers and whistling resonated throughout the stadium. Lily Rhodes stood tall and proud in the very first row as the love of her life, Rufus Humphrey, took a bow. As he stood back up, he locked eyes with Lily for a moment, winked, then went back to adressing the crowd as he waved and bowed again. His band, Lincoln Halk, was at the height of its popularity and Lily was there with him to experience it all -he couldn't feel more lucky.

After the show, Lily ran backstage to greet Rufus and congratulate him on a great show. She spotted him chugging some water and he set it down as soon as he saw her approach.

"So... whaddya think!" Rufus said, showing off a big set of pearly whites.

"You were so fucking fantastic! One of your best shows yet!" Lily replied, full of enthusiasm. It made Rufus smile even greater.

Everyone around them started leaving the premises, so Rufus lead Lily outside and they made their way toward the tour bus. Rufus stopped as they were about to go in.

"I'm so happy you're here with me, Lil." Rufus said quietly.

"There's no place I'd rather be." Lily said, feeling as though her life couldn't be more perfect.

** Present Time **

Rufus was tapping his notepad with a pen for the last ten minutes. He hadn't written a song in the last five years so he thought he'd give it another try; it was much harder than he thought. He also tried to ignore the fact that every time he tried to think of a topic to write about, all he could think of was Lily. He quickly shook the thought of her from his head.

It had been years since they'd last had a conversation, or even seen each other for that matter, other than the occasional school event. He longed for the days when they were together, before money (or lack there of) and growing up got in the way of things. How stupid your "image" was, he thought. Why did society matter? Why did Lily have to leave him so she could find a more 'appropriate' husband, someone more her equal? Rufus had no idea she really left because she became pregant with his child, and she had no other choice but to leave because she did not want him to know. He assumed it was because she didn't love him anymore -because he was not up to the standards of Lily and her mother, CeCe. Little did Rufus know, Lily still thought of him; and she never stopped loving him, either.

Lily Van der Woodsen sighed as she was filling out paperwork for various things she had to attend to. Just then, her daughter Serena entered the room. Lily took off her glasses to look up at her.

"Hi Mom." Serena said.

"Hello Serena, where are you coming from? It's already six thirty." Lily said as she looked down at her watch.

"Sorry, well...there's something I want to tell you." Serena said back.

"Oh?" Lily questioned, hoping this was not another explanation of some trouble she got herself into.

"Don't worry, it's good!" Serena laughed as she reassured her mother, knowing she would think the worst. "I'm actually dating someone!"

"Wow, well good for you! Who's the lucky man?" Lily was not surprised Serena would find a boyfriend only six months after returning from boarding school.

"His name is Dan. Dan Humphrey."

The minute Serena said those words, Lily felt as though all the blood had drained from her face. She felt cold and in shock. Realizing she hadn't responded yet, she quickly blurted out:

"Oh well, great! I'm happy for you!" She mustered a weak smile but as soon as Serena smiled back and turned to leave, Lily's face went back to frozen shock.

It had been years since Lily had any in-depth thought about Rufus, about how she felt about him. Of course she thought of him many times since, but she always brushed off the thoughts quickly, erasing them from her mind. But now, it was different. She knew she was going to have to see him soon because of their children dating. She thought she had finally put him in the past, and each year she thought of him a little less. But now all of that hard work of keeping him out of her thoughts and her life was going to dissapear.