The Surface of the Sun

AU. Not a crossover fic, but I did borrow a few characters from The Office (it's really just their names).

You don't need to watch The Office to understand this fic...at all.

This chapter is just a brief introduction of the characters. Nothing too deep and no smut yet, but it develops quickly... maybe too quickly, but I get sick of waiting!

Rachel Berry and Jim Halpert are best friends and next door neighbors.

Jim Halpert and Noah Puckerman are step-brothers.

Rachel has a brother named Christian, their fathers adopted the both of them.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Jim Halpert has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. His family, the Puckerman-Halperts, have been my next door neighbors for just as long. It never occurred to either of us that having a best friend of the opposite sex was not typical.

Nothing about our families is "typical" we live in a great community. The Puckerman-Halperts and the Berry's (my family) barbecue together, spend holidays together, our fathers are in constant competition (all three, I have two dads). It is just enough perfect to make you ill and a little envious. Perfection is not normal.

I have a brother Christian, who is 2 years older than I am. Chris and I are close in the way that siblings are close, but we're not best friends and although I love him dearly, he just doesn't "get me," not like Jim does. In fact, I don't think anyone gets me quite like Jim does.

Think of your best girlfriend... The friend that will do just about anything for you and vice versa, the one that stands up for you even when you're wrong and then lets you know what an idiot you are later. That's Jim. Yes, I have girlfriends, but not many because sometimes girls are so much work. I know, because I am one. Last time I checked anyway...

Jim has a step-brother named Noah Puckerman, or "Puck" as everyone outside of our families refers to him.

I hate him. Sort of...

He's two years younger than Jim and one year older than me and has always treated me like his bratty little sister. He has been nice to me on occasion, but only in front of our parents. He's made my life hell on and off since elementary school. My own brother didn't tease me nearly as much as Noah "bag full of douche" Puckerman, as I like to refer to him.

I can't really properly describe Noah because I don't know him all that well. He is a little bit of a mystery to me. He's not exactly a bully. If you ask him he'll tell you he's 'a lover, not a fighter.' God, he's so lame. The only person on the receiving end of his antics is me, with the exception of Dwight Schrute who lives up the block.

Dwight is an interesting guy, but we'll come back to that later. For now I'll just explain that every kid that lives in our little community terrorizes Dwight. It's all in good fun and we're the only ones who can get away with it. For example, a few years back some new guy tried giving Dwight a wedgie and Jim, Noah, Matt and Mike (community members, all) had a nice little talk with the guy. He hasn't bothered Dwight since.

We were all lucky enough to grow up in a really safe neighborhood where everyone knows everyone else. The friends that I have in this neighborhood mean everything to me. Sure, we drive each other crazy sometimes, but it's like having a lot of siblings. I will explain the rest of the group later when I attempt to explain the wonder that is Dwight, but for now let's meet the Puckerman-Halperts.

Girls love Jim and Noah and always have.

Every girl I was ever friends with has always expressed jealousy towards me for being so close to them. The truth is I'm only really close to Jim.

Jim excels at anything he attempts. No joke. It's downright maddening. He plays all the major high school sports, but is in no way a typical jock. He has always pulled A's and B's. He's polite, respectful and thoughtful. He's also hilarious. He could charm the pants off of most any girl, but he very rarely uses his powers for evil and I know many a girl that wishes he would.

I'm not really all that close to Noah. He has "hooked up" with many of my friends and then not spoken to them again. He always has some Seinfeld-esque reason for dumping them too "she blows her nose too much, she laughs too loud, she doesn't like beer" whatever.

Noah has always been great at sports, especially baseball and football. He also landscapes and cleans pools. For as much of an insensitive and egotistical jackass as he can be, I hate admitting he does do beautiful work and has always been a hard worker.

All of the older women love to put him to work because they love to watch him (and I suspect he lets them do more than look). All of the men in the neighborhood think he's a 'good kid' and are just happy to be let off the hook when it comes to doing yard work.

There are some people who consider Noah funny. These people are idiots. I've heard him described as charming on many occasion and I threw up a little in my mouth every time.

He is hot, I'll give him that. Like so hot you hate him for it. And he knows it, which makes you hate him even more...and tear his clothes off.

One day, he's Noah Neanderthal from next door who calls me 'juicy' or 'juice' (because of my last name) and messes up my hair and the next he's staring at me so much you would think I was playing a porno on my ass.

He has been doing this more and more recently. Like say for instance, while I'm helping Jim wash his car one irritatingly hot Saturday in May.

"What are you staring at?"

"When did you get a body, juice?" He hasn't seen me in awhile because this is the first time I've been home since Winter break. I have one year left of college.

"My daddy and egg donor gave it to me 21 years ago."

"I'll have to thank them." He smirks. I'd like to slap that smirk off his face.

What is with the flirting? I don't think I've ever heard his voice or felt his eyes like that.

After leaving me a little stunned, he does the old 'walk backwards, while fucking you with my eyes' thing.

Who does that? Not me. I'd trip over my own feet. Or nothing. I would trip on nothing…that is how clumsy and awkward I am. I'm not the only one who noticed the eye-fucking either. Jim looks dumbfounded and amused. Here we go...

"I hate him." I declare once Noah has walked back into his house.

"Well Rach, it's kind of hard not to notice the goods when they're on display like that." He motions to my bikini.

This makes me laugh.

"The goods huh?" I ask.

"You know, the kit n caboodle."

"Which is the kit? And which is the caboodle?" I ask.

"I'll tell you when you're older." He tells me with a wink.

"What would I do without you?" I reply with my "damsel in distress" voice.

"We'd probably both get laid more, for one…"

He's right. Any guy I've ever taken an interest in is completely put off by my friendship with Jim. I had one boyfriend, Finn, that still insists Jim and I have had sex. He lasted 9 months and we still hook up every now and then (Finn not Jim) but he seems to be embarrassed by me.

Maybe I'm not experienced enough to be cool. When the hell did a person's level of cool start to directly coincide with how much of a slut they are? Who came up with this policy? Probably Santana, my brother's current girlfriend and Noah's ex-girlfriend (plaything). That girl helped make my life hell in high school.

Finn sucks in bed anyway, but I don't really have much to compare him to, besides my hand...

"Can we be done with this please?" I whine because I'm really hot and it's not even my car we're washing!

"Seriously? Because I'm pretty sure washing a car isn't something you simply quit in the middle of doing."

"Well I'd kind of like to put something over this bikini now."

"Ignore him." Jim tells me.

"What? Oh, no I just don't want to get burned. He doesn't phase me."

"Right…" He drawls.

"He doesn't!" I insist.

"If he doesn't bother you, then you wouldn't hate him…you just wouldn't care. Why do you let him get to you? All these years, and for the life of me I can't figure out why you let him under your skin. It's the only reason he tortures you. Just do him already."

"Okay, I'm ignoring that last little bit of advice and from now on, I'm Switzerland. I don't care either way…he can be mean or he can be nice. I'm totally neutral."

"Not in that get-up you're not."

"What does that even mean?" I chuckle.

"No idea…I'm hot. Whose idea was it to wash a car on like, the surface of the sun?"

"Well, it's blacktop and the idea was your mom's."

"That woman has had it out for me since day one."

Let me know what you think...please?