Title: Hospitals and Love
Author: puccafan
Characters / Pairing: Chris / Jal. Cassie / Chris and Cassie / Jal friendship.
Spoilers: Everything up to and including S2, Ep8 previews though speculation abounds throughout.
Summary: Jal and Cassie wait in the hospital corridor.
A/N: Whipped up very quickly and not how I want the episode to go - nor do I expect it shall. I was meaning to write a third happy Chris / Jal one shot - but my laptop got nicked last week and I lost everything I'd written so I present this to you instead. I hope someone'll enjoy it.
There was blood in his ear.
Jal couldn't stop hearing the words. They were stuck on a loop in her head, like the lyrics of some fucked up song that refused to stop playing.
Time ticked by and the six words didn't stop playing.
Jal gripped the seat of her chair harder. She felt like propelling herself off of it and plunging into darkness, anything. Anything to escape this. There was a flash of red and his face in front of her eyes - heightened and horrific by her her imagination.
There was blood in his ear.
When she spoke Cassie asked the question out loud, disturbing the empty corridor. It was just the two of them all after all, sat silently side by side, hearing the clock tick by.
" Do you love him?"
A crease appeared in Jal's brow.
" What?"
Her voice was thick. Throaty and unsure with confusion and disuse over the past hour.
Cassie continued looking into space, speaking as if she didn't have a care in the world, and was simply musing to herself.
" Chris. I wonder. Do you love him?"
" What the fuck do you think?" Jal replied angrily, determinedly looking away from Cassie and her infuriating stillness.
There was blood in his ear.Jal squeezed her eyes shut forcefully. She didn't have to think if she didn't want to.
She didn't expect to hear a reply either. To hear the calm, ponderous voice, of her blonde bitch of a friend was the last thing in the world that Jal wanted.
" I don't know what I think." Cassie answered thoughtfully.
" Well don't worry it was rhetorical." Jal spat out.
From the corner of her eye Jal could see Cassie tilt her head to the side. Her voice took on the dreamlike quality that always pre-empted a discordant and distant flow of musing.
" Ambulances and corridors, sirens and silence. Full of people, people waiting. And people hurting. Like lovers do. "
Jal remained silent and stared at the flier on the opposite wall with a stony determination. She was both extremely pissed off and insanely jealous. Why could Cassie escape to her own world - dither away on her astral plane - whilst Jal had to stay here in this fucking empty hospital corridor with it's chipped plastic seats?
Next to her Cassie laughed lightly and breathily.
Weakly Jal wondered if Cassie was off her head.
" Always together, hand in hand, always full of hurt. Love and hospitals. I wonder why that is. "
Jal had been staring at the flier on the wall for the past 5 minutes.
She had no fucking idea what it read.
She could barely even register it's colour. Instead she bit down hard on her lip and tried not to listen to Cassie.
" White and red - full of happy and hurt. And tears and needles. And pills to make you feel better. "
It was when her eyes began to feel to feel dangerously wet, that Jal chose to speak. Stiffly she cleared her throat. It felt lumpier and hotter than usual.
" You know Sid came to visit you in hospital."
Cassie blinked.
" When you tried to kill yourself. "
For the first time in the past unbearable hour, Cassie's face registered a flicker of emotion other than distant wonder.
" I know."
And she fell silent.
Success.
If Cassie's voice had seemed strangled, Jal was far beyond the point of caring.
There was blood in his ear. Blood. Why was he bleeding? What could he have? What could he have done? What was going to happen? Was he -
Jal shook her head sharply, refusing the agitating thoughts threatening to push up and consume her. Automatically her eyes glanced at the door through which she had last seen Chris - unconscious and wheeled out on a hospital trolley. Head lolling to the side.
He looked like he was sleeping.
But when she had called out for him - voice hoarse - he hadn't woken up. And he always woke up. Every time. Chris was a heavy sleeper but Jal knew exactly the right place to prod him - behind his left knee - and he shot up like a firework. And even when he was asleep he moved, snuffling or snoring or squeezing her closer to him.
But he was through the door now, and it taunted Jal with it's stupid, white surface. The window pane and outline of the frame set like a grim mouth, smiling flatly at her. It's fucking blankness staring straight back.
" I'm the one supposed to be in there."
Mouth curving upwards in a twisted smile, Jal laughed mirthlessly.
" In 7 months anyway."
Cassie nodded and answered conversationally - though still staring far, far away.
" You're keeping it then."
" Uh - "
Jal frowned, surprised by her own answer reflected back.
" I - " She drew in a breath, blinked, and refocused on the flier. It was pink. " I need to talk to Chris."
When he's not bleeding in a hospital room.
"He knows you know. "
Jal replied flatly. Her face was blank. Her mouth barely opened to form the one, short syllable that came next.
" Who?"
" Chris?"
Jal nodded listlessly, and - wait … what?
"What?"
For the first time Jal turned her head and stared at Cassie. Cassie didn't meet her eyes but continued murmuring anyway.
" About the baby. He's known for ages. When you're throwing up in the morning he listens outside the door and leaves towels. "
" I thought that was you."
A small - almost imperceptible - smile tugged at the corners of Cassie's mouth.
" He let you think that. "
And then Cassie turned and met Jal's eyes. And the smile stretched out into something secret and special, and something a little bit sad.
" He's waiting for you Jal."
" Is - is that why he asked me to move in with him?"
Cassie's eyes fluttered shut, and she shook her head. Almost regretfully. Almost to herself.
" No. No he loves you. " Cassie turned and stared into the distance and at the opposite wall once more. " Lucky girl - happy boy and happy girl who love each other so much. Lucky. "
There was a moment's pause as Cassie's words sunk in.
" Lucky?"
Jal's voice was seething with disbelief.
" How am I fucking lucky Cass?! My boyfriend's lying and bleeding in some secret, white hospital room and I'm not allowed to see him. I'm pregnant and he's unconscious. I have no fucking idea what happened to him or if he'll be okay because no fucker, in this fucking freak house, has thought to tell me, what the fuck is going on!"
Jal was livid now, standing over Cassie and flecks of her spit flying at her furiously, as Cass simply remained sitting and staring. She wasn't even looking up. Jal felt like kicking the blonde bitch for not even meeting her eyes. For not acknowledging her, for not acknowledging fucking Chris.
" Cass! Look at me! What's wrong with you? All the times Chris has been there for you and helped out - and this is how you react when he's taken to the emergency ward? And you're sitting there like you're waiting for a fucking bus or something! Why aren't you upset for fuck's sake?!"
Cassie smiled serenely to herself and rocked back on the plastic chair.
" Did I tell you about when I met Chris?"
Jal dropped back to her chair with a sign - all the anger escaping her.
" No but you're going to anyway."
Cassie laughed - a short bark that echoed down the corridor.
" Funny, funny Jal. Mmmm. "
Cassie nodded to herself - pleased.
" He was on the garden roof. It was a party - some guy in year 11's with curly hair and a mole on his noise. Chris was on the roof, dancing. Everyone was staring up at him in amazement, like he was a preacher - and he was. He preached the song and dance of pills and parties. "
Jal glanced to her right and was met with the most alert expression Cassie had had all night.
" He was 13 Jal. He's taken pills ever since I've known him. He's slept in gutters and bathed in the rain."
Jal's mouth parted slightly as she listened, still staring fearfully into Cassie's eyes.
Why is she telling me this?
And then as she looked away, Jal felt Cassie's hand slip into her own and black and white fingers thread together tightly.
" He's going to be fine Jal. He's had worse than this. "
And that was when a white, middle aged, middle class Doctor opened the door and stuck his head round it.
" Ms Frazer? You can come in now. "