Okay I thought of this story while I was trying to sleep. Funny huh? I need a break from Layton fan fic for a bit though. Whew that gets tiring.
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I guess I was forced to grow up. Not a very nice idea when you think about it but deep down I know when push came to shove I gave in.
It was about eight grade. Stan and Kyle were helping me finish something before we went home from school. They could be helpful sometimesbut lately they had been rather mean to me. I can see now that I'm looking back that maybe they were on their version of a period. Scary thought. Anyway, they were helping me make a model of the Leaning Tower out of pop-sickle sticks. I can remember Stan looking at me rather funny as he glued one stick into place. "When are you going to grow up Butters?" His sentence was as casual as it could be bit deep down it was like a stab to the heart.
I always thought I was rather grown up. Well I guess I wasn't. I mean while all the boys and girls around me cursed like sailors I would occasionally utter "Damn-it." or "God damn-it." but usually instead of those words I would say something like "Hamburgers." Yes I guess it was a childish habit I formed at a young age. One I haven't been able to get rid of. I say it most of the time. I tend not to use swear words.
But back to Stan's question. Yes when would I grow up. I was in eight grade and I still talked like a fourth grader. I still had my stutter and my good boy attitude. But I always thought myself to be more grown than the other boys. I guess I was having delusions of grander.
Eventually I started to swear a little more. I also eventually gave up Professor Chaos. I had other ways of expressing my pain by then. I had taken up drama and somehow that calmed my alone feeling. But I think Stan was worried about me. He knew that after he said that I would change but he didn't realize how much. He knew I enjoyed Professor Chaos and I guess he didn't want to take that away from me. Yet he did and I know he felt awful. I can see it in his eyes to this day. He will cast that look in my direction. The look that says "I'm sorry." in a million ways. I don't really mind that I grew up. Its for the best after all.
I think the reason I'm writing this is because I hope to grow up a little bit more today. See there is a girl who sits in the back of my class. She's been there for years but I guess no one sees her. She just kind of watched whats going on around her with a worried look. Really I don't know how they miss her. To me she's beautiful. I even noticed her all the way back in fourth grade. But I never said anything. I was scared.
Once in a while I would go to Stan or Kyle. I would plan on asking if they would talk to her for me but I would eventually chicken out and start rambling about something else. I think she noticed. I guess she thought I was talking about her so she would sort of turn up her nose and walk away holding her books close to her. And boy was she pretty.
But today I hope to grow up a little more. I plan on walking over to her desk and asking her out. In of course a movie like manner. If this was a perfect world I would look like Brad Pit and just stand there coolly smoking a cigarette until she walked by. Then she would see me a swoon. Of course its not a perfect world. I learned that years ago. So I guess instead of the way I wish I could do it I will have to try another way. Simple as that. I will just have to walk up to her and ask.
But how do I introduce myself? Am I Leopold ... or Butters? I mean practically my whole life people have called me Butters. Even my parents do. But I'm trying to act grown up. ... Do I use the familiar childhood nice name? Or my more adult sounding name? You know I never really thought about ever using my real name. I guess I thought I would go through life using the name Butters. I even write that on my papers and assignments in school.
And I face another problem. ... I don't know her name. I don't think anyone does. She is quite and I never hear her answer role call. So how am I suppose to know her name? I haven't stalked her! Oh hamburgers ...
I guess I can ask Stan. He may know. He is always very helpful towards me. But will he make fun of me for this? I mean I think he, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric are all nice but they can be very mean at times. So ... should I ask his advice? What would he say? He would probably say, "Dumb-ass why don't you know her name if you like her so much?" ... That sounds about right. But then again he maybe nicer. I mean he and Wendy have been on again off again for quite a while now. So he would know the most about stuff like this I suppose.
I guess I will have to just do it. Maybe if I introduce myself she will do the same. And as for my name problem. I guess whatever feels right when I get up to her.
I think I'll chose Butters ... Yes I don't want to grow up to much to fast.
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Yay! Its done! Sorry for the randomness of it but it just felt like fun to try. Anyway if you don't like it oh well. And in case you are wondering he is about 16-17 in this story. I forgot to write that xD.