This is my first attempt at a KH fanfic, constructive criticism is welcome but please no flaming...
Um. Description: It's about Roxas, just after he's created, waking up in TWTNW. It's probably nowhere near what actually happened, so I'll probably play 358/2 Days in the future and be like, "Aww! Nuu! T.T"
But anyway. Tell me what you think of it. I dunno if I should continue or just make it a one-shot story. What do you think?

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ORIGIN by MissDisney
Part One: Roxas

The first thing Roxas knew was the feeling of falling. The second thing was an awareness of thought, and a curiosity as to how it is accomplished. The third thing was the realisation of having eyes, and being able to open them. He did so, and saw darkness, a solid wall of black nothing. He realised that he must be falling through the darkness, and for a moment it terrified him, until his Common Sense creaked as it started up and began to tell him things, in his mind. And in his own voice.

It's nothing to be afraid of, his Common Sense said. Even this darkness can't go on forever. Eventually you'll stop falling and arrive somewhere. Almost as an afterthought, it added, Though, with all this falling, don't hold me responsible for what happens when you do arrive.

Roxas didn't know how he knew, but he still knew it: at the end of a lot of falling, there tended to be pain. He couldn't quite recall ever being in pain, but his Memory assured him that it was very unpleasant. Wait--memory? How can I have a Memory if I haven't existed before now?

A great deal more of the fall was spent pondering this. Existence had indeed only just begun for Roxas, and yet he remembered a great deal: pain, the need to eat and breathe, the names of things...words, in fact, lots of them. For no reason at all, Roxas also possessed a kind of mental dictionary, although it wasn't very good and he knew that most of the spelling was wrong. He investigated some of the words.

Pinecone, he thought to himself. Pinecone. Good. I like that one. But what is "pinecone"?

Before Roxas could trawl through the expanses of Brain to see whether he had a mental photo album as well, he became aware of a dim light, far below him, growing bigger and bigger the longer he continued to fall. He squinted to see it better; it was sort of a dark white colour, quite bright. It pierced the blackness and his Common Sense said, See? You're here, wherever here is. Mind not to land on your head.

The sharp points of the light cut into the darkness until there was almost none left. Roxas squeezed his eyes tight shut to avoid being blinded, bracing himself for the pain that he knew to expect. But it never came.

Instead there was a distinct impression of solidity under his feet. Glancing down, he saw two things that he wasn't expecting. The first was ground. Ground. He liked that word, too, and the way ground felt was much better than pain. Next he saw what he was standing on the ground with. They were black and a bit round, and they covered his feet. Shoes. Where did he get shoes from? He had on a black hooded coat and gloves as well, the origins of which were equally mysterious.

"What is going on here?" he said out loud to no one, exasperatedly, and marvelled at the sound of his voice. It was the same as the one in his head, but to actually hear it, out loud, was an unnerving and delightful experience. Seemingly on a winning streak in the speech department, he continued. "How did I get here? What is this place?"

Roxas clutched his head in his hands, and felt hair. He wasn't surprised, though: hair was perfectly normal. Most people had it. (How he knew what was classed "perfectly normal", he didn't stop to ponder. Best not to question your blessings, and all that.)

Suddenly, he felt a nagging in the back of his mind. Look around, said his Common Sense. You don't just fall out of nowhere into some other place every day! Look around! Roxas did. He was in the middle of an empty road, coloured a lighter shade of black. There were equally black paths lining either side of the road, and when Roxas tilted his head upward he saw the buildings, huge, dark, forbidding slabs of concrete and metal, with tiny lights running up them. Windows. He turned around and saw a building different to the other buildings; it had stairs, leading from the ground to its double-doored entrance, and it was much better lit than the others. If he strained his eyes, he could make out bright screens far above, with...hold on...

Illuminated against one of the screens was a black silhouette, the shape of a person standing atop the skyscraper, perched perilously close to the edge. Roxas let out a cry of shock as the figure suddenly leapt from the building, falling who knew how many stories until they landed, with the lightest of taps, directly in front of Roxas. He jumped backwards, surprised, almost tripping over his own feet. Staring up at the person, he realised that they both wore the same black coat, same black shoes, but this person's face was concealed by the coat's hood. All that was visible where the face should have been was darkness, with a faint impression of features and hair.

A thunderclap. Then another. Rain began to fall, only a little at first, becoming more steady as the two stood opposite each other in silence. Roxas's hair became damp, and before long it was completely drenched, plastering itself to his face and the sides of his head. He dared not say anything or move, not while this person was just staring so calmly, because it might break the trance. This was the very first other person Roxas had ever known, and he wanted more than anything for them to stay. One wrong move and he might scare them off.

Suddenly the figure took a step back, but it didn't flee; reaching up a hand, it lowered its hood to reveal the face of a man, dark skinned, with long silver hair that fell to the waist and deep yellow eyes. Roxas shivered as he stared into those eyes, half from the cold of the rain and half from the terrible feeling of wrongness that the man exuded. There was no kind of emotion in his eyes, and it was terrifying.

He smirked at Roxas, an evil, empty smirk that sent chills down Roxas's spine (which Roxas had never experienced before and felt no desire to experience again). Then the man spoke, in a deep voice, a voice of dark nothingness that leaked into the boy's mind and drained all of his resistance away.

He said: "My name is Xemnas. I have come for you. And you will join me...Roxas."

End of Part One.
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So, what do you reckon? Good or bad? Do I waffle on too much? I think I do. Any comments or ideas for future instalments much appreciated. Thanks for reading!