Pairing: Rae/Finn
Rating: PG
Description: My version of what happened after the last Finn/Rae scene of My Mad Fat Diary
"So What Now?"
GUSH
I didn't really know what to say, all I could think about was what had just happened. This wonderful hunk of a boy had just told me he loved me. Finn. Loved. Me. No, I didn't believe it, I couldn't believe it. All could do was look at him, just stare at his wonderful face in a way I'd never allowed myself to before. It took a while for me to realise that he had just asked me a question…a question that I needed to answer. An answer I didn't know. I ended up naming the only thing I could think of,
"Chips?" How predictable I cursed myself
Apparently it was the right thing to say though, as it was met with a soft chuckle and a small nod in agreement. As we turned towards the chip shop Finn opened the door for me, his eyes fixed on the pavement. I led the way into the café and, looking back, realised that he was just as nervous as me, avoiding eye contact and consequently any awkwardness that might have occurred. He looked so wrapped up in his own mind, his face half happiness half confused moodiness. After he'd ordered a portion of chips for us to share, I gently bumped against him with my shoulder, trying to bring him out of his head and back into our world where we'd been perfectly comfortable not five minutes ago. My attempt was met with just the hint of a smile and a quick glance my way before our chips were ready and we made our way to one of the tables in the corner. A million questions ran through my head and, with no idea what to think, I retreated into the toxic thoughts yelling at me that I wasn't good enough, why would I ever think that I could be?
We silently tucked into the bag of chips, this immense cloud of awkwardness growing between us with every second. I just didn't know what to do. Suddenly a shout came from behind the counter,
"You! Fighting! No! Out!"
We looked around, confused at the random crazy yelling. Then I realised the significance of this chippy; the setting of my first happy memory with the gang. It might have been full of happy memories for us, but we had also wrecked it and been thrown out of this very place by the same angry man shouting at us now. Oh, shit! Our first date and we're shouted out, way to up the awkwardness! Despite this thought, I couldn't help the happiness of reliving that night when I realised that I might just be in with a chance of becoming friends with the only cool people in Lincolnshire. It was that happiness that finally made me look up at Finn who was still looking around, confused and completely oblivious to the cause of the disturbance. Realising that I was the one who would eventually have to act, I jumped up, catching Finn's hand and pulled us outside, back out onto the streets of Stamford.
Once I started I just didn't stop moving. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just carried on blindly walking, with no clue where I was going. I didn't hear the calls of "Rae! Rae!" until I felt Finn's hand leave mine. That was just enough to make me turn to meet his intense eyes, suddenly right in front of me, closer than I ever thought they would be. That sight and the awkwardness that came with it was enough to produce complete verbal diarrhoea, "Look, Finn, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I came to find you. It was stupid You shouldn't be here, with me. You should be with the gang, dancing with Chloe or something. Not stuck with this. I'm not supposed to…"
The flow of words was cut off with a kiss that was full of urgency, drawing me in and almost making me completely loose control. Before I could fully react Finn pulled away and, looking up through his lashes at me, he stammered, "Rae….I, I don't want to do that. I want to be here, with you"
"Why?" I couldn't believe it, that this Sex God actually liked me? He wanted to be with me? How was it even possible?
"Because…'cause I meant it, Rae. Whether or not you believe me, I…I love yah," He was looking down at the ground, his shoes, the wall, anything but me. He was so nervous about it, it had to be at least partly true, right? He wouldn't say it again, out loud, if he didn't at least like me a little bit.
Some sort of primal, Sex Goddess instinct took over and I closed the gap between us again and kissed him like I just wanted to eat him up. He responded with equal desperation, with every second bringing me closer to believing that maybe…just maybe, he could feel half of what I feel for him. When we broke away from each other we were both panting slightly, but I could see traces of that nervous frown still playing around his face. There was only one thing for it; humour:
"Maybe I'll believe you if we have a bit more practice?" I joked, looking up to one of his amazing 'cheeky git' looks. After another earth shattering kiss I broke away and, resting my forehead on his, traced the words 'I LOVE U 2" onto his smiling cheek.