Sasuke was not gay. He was absolutely, 100% sure that there was no way he was gay. No way at all.
In fact, if someone were to ask him – which no one ever would – he would tell them that he liked girls, but hadn't found one who was attractive enough, talented enough, and had the right personality for him. And fuck off. In that order.
If Sasuke were then forced to think deeper into the matter – which he never did, what with his whole "revenge against the Leaf" thing – he would say that the only girl to ever come remotely close to reaching half of his ridiculous standards was that one girl from the Sand. Gaara's sister. Oh, what was her name? TenTen? No she was some girl on that Byakugan bastard's team. Temari? That sounded right. Temari.
If he recalled correctly, she was pretty enough. Not drop-dead gorgeous, but pretty. He also remembered her strength. He'd heard about her beating Shikamaru, and she'd been there during Naruto's infamous attempt to retrieve him back. Despite what the other ninjas thought, he'd actually been aware of most of the fighting going on around him. The problem was that she just wasn't…right for the Uchiha. Her personality was almost too abrasive, not to mention the sexual tension that one could almost see between her and Shikamaru. So despite her being the closest to reaching his standards, he was still not attracted to her.
He didn't have feelings for any of his "fangirls" either. He'd hated being chased around by Ino and Sakura while he still had ties to the village, and almost enjoyed himself when he'd escaped their clutches by way of Orochimaru. Almost. Uchihas didn't enjoy themselves. Especially hell-bent-on-killing-their-brother Uchihas.
But he couldn't deny that when he first left the village and Sakura was the first one to try and bring him back, he'd almost felt remorse. Once again, only almost. Despite the girl clinging to him with every fiber of her being, he'd felt a sort-of friendship towards her. They'd been on the same team together, and he'd noticed her talent as a ninja. But despite having slightly positive feelings toward the pink-haired girl, he was still not attracted to her.
But still, Sasuke was not gay. He was 90% sure of it. Definitely not gay.
So why had he not been able to find that perfect girl to fit his image? Oh right, because he was too busy bent on destroying the Leaf. And killing Naruto. Naruto.
Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the thought of his former friend. To this day, nobody – not even Itachi – could ever make Sasuke as irritated and angry as Naruto. That annoying boy with his annoying blonde hair and annoying fox whiskers was enough to make anyone, well, annoyed. He was always shouting and going on about how he was going to prove himself and become Hokage and save all his friends and other equally irritating things. What an idiot.
Sasuke began pacing along with his thoughts.
All that boy did was eat ramen and overexert himself trying to out-do everyone around him. He'd gone on and on about how Sasuke was his rival before he'd been able to even hit a single target with the Kunai.
He unconsciously chuckled at the memory of Naruto's face when Sasuke had hit every target and he couldn't even hit one. How could that large of a difference even remotely resemble a rivalry?
But then, by some miracle, Naruto had passed the test to become a Genin. He still wasn't sure how that happened, but it had all the same. Being the slowest and dumbest in the class, he was obviously paired with the fastest and smartest, Sasuke himself. And even though Sasuke would say he had hardly noticed it, the blonde had quickly caught up to him.
He absentmindedly picked up a few stones and began skipping them against the ground.
Within a short time frame, they went from being incomparable to becoming rivals, teammates, and best friends. Somehow the fox-idiot was able to get Sasuke to open his heart to him, and the two had been inseparable for a time.
He inspected the next rock, before tossing it as well. Maybe it was fate they'd been on the same team. Nobody else would've ever been able to get him to feel like that.
Suddenly he stopped skipping rocks. What the hell was he thinking? Fate? He thought fate put him on the team with that – that – that…
That what? Idiot? No. Being on a team with him had proven to Sasuke that Naruto was no idiot. But that didn't even matter. What was this fate crap going through his mind? He didn't believe in fate. Not after his parents died. Not after Itachi's…
No. No. He would not let himself think about that. Not again. Not after all he'd gone through mentally to push it back. He'd been a mess for weeks after he found out the truth about Itachi, even though he didn't let anyone show it. He didn't want to feel like that again. And the only way to keep it from consuming him was to destroy everything that caused him pain. Danzo. The Leaf. And Naruto.
His mind wandered back to the Uzumaki, and he let it, if only to prevent further painful thoughts about Itachi from resurfacing. Why did Naruto cause him such pain? He was never a part of the plan to destroy the Uchiha clan. In fact, there was no way Naruto could've ever known about it; he was so disliked by the village that if he got in the way, they probably would've gladly killed him too.
Something twisted in Sasuke's heart at the thought.
If it wasn't because of Itachi or the Uchiha clan's destruction, then what about Naruto put him on Sasuke's hit list? They'd been best friends until Sasuke decided to leave the village.
What made Sasuke want to leave anyway?
He remembered it so clearly. Naruto had left to learn from one of the Sannin, Jiraiya. He'd felt so jealous. Naruto was going to study under one of the most famous living ninjas and leave Sasuke all alone. It was unfair.
But then he heard the news. Itachi was back. And he was looking for Naruto. Sasuke remembered the fear he felt that moment clearly. Without warning, he'd run off in search of his blonde friend. The thought never once crossed his mind that the famous Jiraiya would be able to defeat Itachi. His only thought the moment he started running was that he had to get to Naruto or Itachi would kill him, just as he'd killed every other person Sasuke had ever cared about.
So when it was clear to Sasuke that he was no match for his older brother, he knew he had to leave. He had to find any means to get stronger and prevent Itachi from hurting anyone ever again. Especially Naruto.
The rock he was still holding dropped from his hand at the last thought. Especially Naruto. What was that about? Did he – could he – care for that obnoxious twit? Impossible. He wanted to kill him after all. And he was still not gay. He was about 70% sure. Give or take a few percentages.
Besides, other than being the personification of the Leaf village, what could Naruto have possibly done to make Sasuke so angry at him?
The answer came to him at once. Because Naruto didn't bring me back.
What? No. That wasn't right. He was trying to leave. He didn't want to be brought back. That's why he'd fought the little fox with everything he had; to escape.
But he had. He'd fought with everything he'd had because if Naruto could still beat him, then maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay. He'd wanted Naruto to beat him. If Naruto could beat him, then they could've trained together, and laughed together, and protected each other.
And Naruto couldn't beat him. So in order to move forward with his initial revenge, Sasuke had closed his heart to the blonde and left. It was the only way to protect him.
…the FUCK? Protect Naruto? No. Maybe he'd wanted to lose to the Jinchurikki so he could go back to his life of laughter and friendship, but after the shorter boy lost, he left because he was disgusted. And that was that.
Flashes of memories passed before his eyes. He remembered seeing Naruto again for the first time since their infamous battle. He remembered his heart skipping a beat when he saw how the slightly younger boy had grown. He remembered praying that the blonde would be strong enough to defeat him this time. He remembered hating himself for trying to kill his precious friend again. He remembered shutting all those feelings out for a second time.
Sasuke clutched at his bangs, eyes squeezed shut in protest to all the old wounds drawing themselves out of him.
He remembered their more recent meeting, right after Danzo's demise. He'd been so ready to kill Sakura. To cut those bonds, so flimsy to begin with, for good. He'd even been ready to sever ties with his former teacher, bitter though that would be. What he hadn't been ready for was the sudden arrival of the one person he swore he'd never wanted to see again. His heart had skipped a beat that time too. Somehow in that short time, Naruto had grown again. Without thinking about the consequences, he'd yelled at the still-slightly-shorter boy, asking why the hell Naruto was still so set on bring him back.
"Because we're friends."
Unbidden, tears came to Sasuke's eyes at the memory. He didn't even notice. He was still hung up in the world of his memories.
Those weren't the words he'd wanted to hear. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, even now. Naruto to disappear and transform into a disgusting and still-alive Orochimaru telling him to stop wishing for the impossible? Or worse. A confession of undying love from Naruto himself?
He chuckled darkly into his hand. Maybe he had.
The blonde's face from that day swum again through his mind. His look was so intense. His eyes bore deep into Sasuke's soul. He'd been nearly blind at the time, but Naruto had appeared like a sun, brightening his vision for a short moment. The only thing he could see clearly was the ninja, sporting the deep orange color that was his trademark. He could see all the lines of his whiskers on his face. He saw every crease in his brows as he frowned deeply at the Uchiha's madness. Determination almost bled from his very being. Sasuke had wanted more, had needed more. So he did the only thing he could think of, drunk as he felt, and attacked Naruto as if to kill.
When their fists had collided, he felt every emotion in the Uzumaki, and he knew if he didn't go back with him to the village that their next meeting would lead to one of their deaths. When they'd broken apart, he felt something stir within him. He'd already killed the man who forced his brother to murder his entire clan. It would be so easy to return now. To see the face of the boy – no, that's wrong; he was no longer a boy – the man who had saved him.
But then Madara had appeared and the thought was gone, and so was he. He left the sun which illuminated the darkness in both his heart and vision. And for what?
He was still wondering this when he shivered suddenly. He looked up at the sky and saw it was turning purple. The sun was setting. How long had he been standing here, contemplating his feelings for someone who was supposed to mean nothing to him?
He shivered again. He needed to get warm. He could figure this out later, just as he was trying to figure out if it were worth it to destroy the Leaf.
One thing was sure though, he thought as he walked towards shelter. He had feelings for Naruto. But he still wasn't gay. Naruto was just Naruto after all. And Sasuke wasn't gay.
He was 50% sure of that.
AN: So here I am, 2 am before I have class at 9, on ff. Goddammit. This was a random thought that popped into my head, and I have to say it's the story I'm most proud of right now. Strange though that may be.
I am going to drop the rating from M to T. I think saying fuck 2 (now 3...) times is probably fine in T. If I get yelled at it'll go back up. I'm also so unsure about what the second genre should be. Angst? Humor? Is it funnier or angstier? I don't even know.
There also seems to be quite a few people following this story. I have it listed as complete, and I intended it as a one-shot. So if you would like to read more SasuNaru, I would recommending following me instead, as I have another few in the works.
Anyways please R&R!