"Oh that's nothing!" Naruto stated over the stifled giggles of their group from the previous story. "When we were at the academy me and Shikamaru were making faces at Sasuke.." He paused, deciding to ignore the glare from the Uchiha. "But then Mai-sensei came up to us and said that*giggle* when she was a kid her teacher told her that if*giggle*.. if *snort*…"
Sighing and rolling his eyes at Naruto, Shikamaru decided to finish the story. "She told us that when she was a kid her teacher told her that if she made ugly faces at other people then her face would stay that way forever." Naruto, knowing the ending burst into laughter while Shikamaru was suppressing a grin. "So Naruto said…"
"Well Mai-sensei, you can't say you weren't warned!" Naruto finished. As he glanced around the table consisting of 4 couples.. and Lee and Chouji, he was surprised to find that the NejiTen pair wasn't laughing like everyone else, or even paying attention at that, but silently whispering to each other.
He stood up, and pointed an accusing finger at them. "Nejiii, TenTennn why aren't you laughing? That one was funnyyy"
"Naruto quit your whining" Sakura stated from her spot on Sasuke's lap. Naruto sat down. Then from the seat next to Naruto, Hinata stated "Yes Neji-Nii-san, I actually thought that one was funny too" Naruto silently cringed at the way she said actually.
"I'm not really into those kind of jokes" Said prodigy stated. "Oh" Naruto stated, a devious look on his face. "So what Neji? You like dirty jokes huh? Is that it?" A tick mark appeared on the Hyuga's forehead.
"Of course not. I don't find that crude vulgarity you like amusing in the slightest." He said, his voice icy cold.
"Aww lighten up Neji! It was just a joke!" Naruto said, laughing at Neji's frustration.
Ino leaned forward, adjusting her grip on 'Shika-kun's' arm. "Well if you guys want dirty jokes, I know tons of 'em." Sakura smiled, "Yea me too.. Ooo! Ooo! Ino tell the one about the three guys at the ski lodge!" Chouji giggled, "I know this one"
"Alright, alright. So these three guys go to a ski lodge, and there's only one room left, so they have to share a room, along with one king sized bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and he says, 'I had this wild, vivid dream that I was getting a hand job!' Then the guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, 'That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!'"
Just about everyone at the table was laughing, even Uchiha, while Neji remained stoic. "Fufufu" Neji's eyes widened slightly as he realized the kunoichi on his lap was giggling.
As the laughter died Ino smiled, seeing her friend "See I knew you were a perve Tenten!" The weapons mistress smiled and shook her head.
"I've got one!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly. "But it's pretty dirty, Neji you might want to cover your innocent virgin ears" He joked. Sakura started giggling at Neji, who at the moment looked very annoyed.
"Okay. One day Mr. Hirigashi, the president of a large Ramen (Duh, it's Naruto) industry, called his vice-president, Sora, into his office and said, 'We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Shannon will have to be laid off.' Sora looked at Mr. Hirigashi and said, 'Shannon is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know who to fire.' The next morning Sora waited for his employees to arrive. Shannon was the first to come in, so Sora said, 'Shannon, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do' Shannon replied, 'You'd better jack off. I've got a headache'!"
The whole table(aside from Neji) broke into uncontrollable laughter. Including Tenten, though she was trying to keep it to a minimum because she knew Neji didn't like those levels of vulgarity.
"Oh my G!" Sakura said between giggles. "Ino I remembered the one about the guy at the pickle factory!" Ino obviously knew what she was talking about because they both erupted into hysterical laughter.
Naruto looked to the blue haired kunoichi next to him and saw her trying to hold her laughter, she knew the joke.
"Hinata-chaaannnn!" Naruto whined. "Ino? Sakura?" She looked at her boyfriend, then at her two hysteric best friends. "G-go ahead Hinata, you always tell it best anyways" The blonde bombshell replied.
"O-okay, So there was this guy who worked at a pickle factory. He had w-worked there for years and was the very best at h-his job. But one day he comes home from work and says to his wife "I have a strange urge to stick my p-penis in the pickle cutter". She shrugs and tells him that they have special therapy for stuff like that, he dismissed the thought, thinking it was a onetime thing.
B-but over the course of the next few months, the urge gets stronger until he loses it at work. He c-comes home that day early. "Well your home early" his wife greeted him. H-he gives her a sullen look. "Do you remember when I told you that I had wanted to stick my penis in the pickle cutter?" She gasped "You didn't!" He looked at his feet, "I did" She quickly runs u-up to him and pulls down his pants, seeing everything is fine she looks at him with a confused look on her face. "w-well, what happened?" she asked. "Well… I got fired" "what happened to the pickle cutter?" He smiled a little bit. "Oh… she got fired too."
By this point Ino and Sakura had doubled over in laughter. Sasuke, Lee, Choji, and Shikamaru had started laughing hard and TenTen had her face in her hands and was shaking, it wasn't her fault though, she just couldn't help it. Neji was watching everyone that was laughing and Hinata who had a broad smile on her face. TenTen looked up at him, and if she didn't know better she would have said she saw a gleam in his eye.
She smiled "Lighten up Neji" She stated softly, as she gently rubbed his arm. He gave her a weak smile, "I'll try my best" he whispered.
"Hey stop whispering TenTen!" Ino shouted. "Yeah! We can't hear anything your saying!" Sakura added. Then both the bombshell and the medic-nin doubled over in laughter… again.
"Alright" TenTen stated. "I've got one" Everyone quieted down. "Okay so two guys are out hunting on their land. One guy taps the others shoulder and says "Hey I can see into your bedroom with my scope… who's that dude in the bed? …O-o my god! He's F**king your wife!" The man shouted. The other man looked at him wearily "Y-you're joking… right?" "No way dude, she's cheating on you." The man let out a growl, he was absolutely furious. "I knew it! Well shoot her in the head and shoot him in his private parts!" The other guy smiles and takes aim. "Nice!" he says. "What?" the other man replied. "I can get that in one shot!"
The table was silent for a minute, then everyone started laughing, even Neji had somewhat of a smile on his face, but only because it was TenTen who said the joke.
After the laughter had died down a bit TenTen almost shouted "Neji has a hilarious little Johnny joke for us!" His face then became ghastly pale. "Uh… TenTen I don't think I should-"
"Aww come on Neji!" "Yeah show some backbone!" "Tell it!"
Large brown eyes stopped his train of thought "Please Neji-kun?" She asked, pouting her lip. "For me?" She added cutely.
He sighed, defeated. "Alright, but only this one. One day Little Johnny was playing in his backyard when he threw a rock at a bee hive and bees started swarming around him. His father then came outside to find Johnny stomping the life out of the honey bees and yelled "That's it! No honey for one month!" Later that day, Johnny was upset from not being able to eat any honey, which he loved and pondered across some butterflies. He got angry and started tearing their wings off one by one. Of course this is when his dad came outside and again punished him "No butter for two months!" Then that night when Johnny's mother was in the kitchen making dinner, she screamed. Johnny and his father ran onto the scene to see the woman frantically stomping the life out of a dozen cockroaches. Once she was finished with her rampage, she looked up to see her son and husband. Johnny sighed and tapped his dads shoulder. "Do you want to tell her? Or should I?"
After a short moment the joke sunk in and there were tears in everyone's eyes. All you could hear was laughter. Ino and Shikamaru had fallen back in their seat and were laughing on the floor, Sakura had her head on Sasuke's shoulder while both were laughing, Choji and Lee were pounding on the table, and as everyone was laughing and overall having themselves a damned good time, Naruto didn't get it.
"I don't get it, what was he gonna' tell her?" He asked, completely clueless. This stupid remark only made them laugh harder. He looked to Neji who was smiling in spite of himself. "Nejiiii" Naruto whined. "I don't get it!"
Neji smirked "I'll tell you when you're older"
If you think they were laughing hard before, then this was insane. Even Hinata was all out laughing, and at her own boyfriend. Naruto's face was a deep crimson color now. Sakura gasped "He so got you Naruto!" "You're blushing like hell stupid baka!" Sasuke added.
"Shut your face teme!" The blonde shouted.
"Jeez calm down Naruto, it was just a joke" Neji teased with a smirk.