I am I man!
By Ms. Kinnikufan
Disclaimer: I own no one in this fic.
Mantaro met a very pretty blonde waiting for him at the movie theater.
"Man, Jeager you get prettier every time I see you!" Mantaro give a very backhanded compliment.
"Nein! I'm getting handsomer every time you see me! Pretty is a compliment for girl, not virile mach german men like myself!" Jeager flex his muscle to show off his utter manliness.
"But you do look pretty like a girl! You got silky golden hair and it looks like you've got on make-up!"
"Kid Muscle, ve've had this talk before. These lightning bolts under my eyes, they are a birthmark. Not make-up. A birthmark."
A passing by punk wolf-whistled at Jeager.
"Hey baby, why don't you dump that wimp for a real man?" he crudely suggested.
Jeager gave him a sucker punch and then kick him in the balls for good measure.
"See, even that guy withering in pain thinks you look like a girl." pointed out Mantaro.
"He could be a gay guy who thinks I'm a manly man!" countered Jeager.
"Wait, you're a guy?" the punk moaned.
Jeager gave him another kick to the balls.
"I am a manly man!" Jeager screamed to the world, beating his chest like King Kong.
A mother and her child passed by.
"Mommy, why's that girl claiming to be a manly man?"
Jeager grew beet red and grabbed the child.
"I am a man! See! I have no tits!" Jeager gave the child a peek a manly muscular chest.
"You indecent tramp! Exposing your breasts to my minor son!" The mother hit Jeager with her surprisingly heavy purse.
Jeager shouted all sorts of German at obscenities at the mother.
"Maybe we should go into the movie theater now." Mantaro gently restrained Jeager.
"I am not a woman, I am a man." Jeager repeated over and over again as they bought the tickets, bought refreshments and watched the previews.
"Yeah, yeah we knew," Mantaro muttered in response.
"Hey dude, get you're girlfriend to shut the hell up!" someone in the back shouted.
Cartoonish steam came out of Jeager ears and his forehead began to throb.
"I am not his girlfriend! I am not a girl! I am a man! You wanna take this outside!"
"Yeah lady! Let's take it outside!"
The lady comment only made Jager madder.
"Yeah, let's take it outside! We'll have a man-to-man fight!"
The guy being a normal guy and Jeager being a macho German chojin wrestler, there really wasn't any contest.
The next day:
Mantaro picked up Jeager from jail.
"Ha! Now they'll know I'm truly a manly man!" Jeager insanely laughed.
"Ummm...maybe I shouldn't see the headline then." Mantaro hid a newspaper behind his back.
"Vat is it?" Jeager snatched the newspaper.
Jeager and the guy at the movie theater's fight had made the front page (it had been a very, very, slow news day).
The headline read : Crazy German woman beats up man in movie theater brawl!
Jeager screamed and went into a very manly fetal position.