This is my very first fanfic ever and English is not my first language, so please be gentle. I'm a huge Hotch fan and I love the Hotch-Rossi friendship, and that's why I decided to write this fic. I'm not really sure if I could keep them in character so any comment or criticism will be greatly appreciated. I hope you have fun, and please read and review.
Also I owe a huge thank you to Nebula2 for the beta. I don't owe Criminal Minds or any of his characters.
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Title: The Right Thing.
"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Oscar Wilde.
The fight back to Quantico was quiet since, for the most part everyone kept to themselves, especially Morgan and Hotch. The first sitting on the back of the plane, looking out the window, and the later busying himself with paperwork.
Dave knew better than to try to talk to Hotch while the rest of the team was around, so he let the man alone with his work.
When the team arrived at the BAU, they parted ways without a word; Hotch and JJ headed to their offices, while Morgan, Prentiss, and Reid went to their desks in the bullpen. It wasn't a surprise that the entire team was affected by this case, but none more so than Morgan and Hotch.
As he walked past, Dave watched Morgan with his two co-workers. They were trying to cheer him up, that much he grated from what little he heard. He was walking up the stairs to his office and turned just in time to see a small smile forming on Morgan's face. Yes, Reid and Prentiss were definitely doing a good job.
Dave stopped outside Hotch's office. He looked through the window and wasn't surprised to see the other agent was already behind his desk, moving files and papers around. The older man shook his head but continued walking to his office. He pulled open the door and dropped his bag inside before turning and walking toward the kitchen area to get some coffee. Hotch and he had some talking to do.
As he walked back holding a cup of fresh coffee in each hand, he noticed Garcia had joined the little group in the bullpen. Dave smiled slightly. He had no doubt between the three of them, they would be able to get Derek out of his gloom.
Now, to work on doing the same with the Unit Chief.
The door was closed, so Dave had to juggle the cups to free one of his hands and pull it open. He was the only person that would dare step into Hotch's office without knocking, so the younger agent didn't even look up.
"I brought you some coffee," Dave called, placing the cups on Hotch's desk and pushing one toward him.
"Thanks," Hotch looked up briefly in acknowledgment and then returned to his work.
Dave held back a sigh. He had known Hotch long enough to not be surprised by the lack of cooperation. The younger agent was trying to avoid this conversation- and not very subtle at that -but he wasn't planning to let this go so easily. He sat in one of the visitor chairs and waited to have the man's attention.
"Do you need something?" Hotch asked, pen poised up and hovering over the paper.
"I think you already know why I'm here, Aaron."
Hotch's eyes flickered away briefly. "I'm okay."
"I didn't say you weren't. Still, I think we need to talk." Dave replied.
Hotch pressed his lips together, his grip on the pen tightening.
"We both know you were pretty affected by this case, and I don't think the fact George Foyet turned out to be our unsub did anything to help your guilty conscience or your sense of responsibility."
Hotch lowered his eyes, not meeting Dave's gaze and didn't say anything for a long time. Dave began to think he'd made a mistake in his approach, but when he was about to say something, Hotch looked up.
"What do you want me to say, Dave? Foyet was ... I listened to him talk about what happened that night more than once. I even comforted him." Hotch shook his head. "And even after Shaughnessy sent us away, I went over his statement dozens of times over the years, and I never ... I never saw. I never suspected that something was wrong. That he was lying."
"Hotch, there was no way we- you could have known he was the Unsub," Dave answered, and seeing the expression on Hotch's face he elaborated. "He posed himself as the victim of a traumatic and violent attack. Who could even think to doubt his statement? Trusting and helping the victims is a huge part of our work. We can't come in and treat the victims as suspects, and he used that against us.
"I was with you when you talked to him again, and it didn't even cross my mind to doubt what he was telling us. He looked so fragile and alone. Lost. The shell of a man barely surviving. Hell, I feel bad for the guy."
Hotch held Dave's gaze while he spoke, but said nothing.
"Look, I know it's hard, but you have to let it go. I know you feel guilty; that you're feeling you failed, but you have to keep telling yourself you didn't. You have to find a way to let this go because if you don't; if you keep beating yourself up about what happened, it wouldn't matter that we caught him. That you caught him. If you go down this path you will let Foyet win. You will let him into your head and not the other way around. You and I both know that never ends well." Dave told him, voice firm.
"And you think I don't know that? But none of that matters right now. Sometimes knowing is not enough to make the guilt, to make these thoughts go away. Sometimes it's just not enough." Hotch replied evenly.
Both were silent for a few minutes until Dave spoke again. "I know how you feel, trust me. I've been there myself more times that I can count. But each time the guilt is too much; when you feel that what you did doesn't make a difference. That it's not enough, you need to remember you caught him. That as difficult and as hard it was, you didn't take the deal. You didn't let him go as Shaughnessy did, you fought back.
"Remember that you gave to the families of the victims something they hadn't been given before. You gave them closure." Hotch opened his mouth to speak but Dave didn't let him. "I know that's not good enough, but it was the only thing you could give them. You caught the person who hurt and took away their loved ones. Just remember you did the right thing."
Hotch looked into Dave's eyes for a long moment before finally giving a barely perceptive nod. The older profiler relaxed slightly, even if he was under no illusion to think he had fixed things. He had been in Hotch's place before, after all, and knew things didn't get fixed with gentle words and rational explanations, not matter how true they were. But at least this was a start.
So they stayed in Hotch's office, drinking coffee and enjoying each other's company until JJ appeared at the door.
"Foyet escaped."
"Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." Conrad Hilton.
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A/N: After much delay, I finally got around to revise and edit this fic. Yay! I plan to do the same with the others too, but it may take me some time since I'm doing more than simply fixing spelling mistakes and instead doing some serious rewriting. Thanks to the fact I've got a few reviews I know there are people still interested in reading my fics, so please bear with me a little longer.
I also want to give a huge thank you to anyone who read the original version, and especially those who took the time to drop me a review. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for your kind words. Thank you so, so much! *hugs*
