Storm
She wasn't sure who she would blame it on. Other then herself of course. She wasn't deluded or stupid enough to think that she was not at all to blame in this situation. In fact, she knew she was at fault. Really, it was all she could do not to go running out into the torrential rains again to try and escape the situation, but that was just as pointless as self delusions. If she did try to outrun her problems, both literally and figuratively, he would undoubtedly stop her.
She looked up, her eyes catching his almost immediately. Their depths were endless, dark onyx, like the blackest pit. He watched her, tracing her movements with keen eyes, noticing every hitch in breathing, every single physical response she had to offer. He was predatory around her, observing everything. The way her all too wet hair clung to her face, the way the pink strands darkened to a deep rose the closer to her head the hair became. The way her pale skin blushed under his scrutiny. He noticed all these things about her and she noticed his noticing. Pulling the sheet a little tighter around her body she tried to make sense of her actions. It could have been attributed to their history. It could have merely been lust or then again it could have been something more. And it was that thought that frightened her because it was the most likely explaination. What happened had not been a mistake; it was something more intense.
"Sakura," he began seriously, as if her name gave him some control over the situation and of her reaction to what had just happened. Maybe it did, maybe not. Even Sakura herself was unsure of that.
Whatever the reason she recoiled at the reminder that she was here, with him. Against all logic and reason she had listened to the tempting taunts of Uchiha Sasuke and in one moment of weakness had literally shattered the glass tower that was her life by giving into them. She felt her mind go inside, as though inner contemplation would make Sasuke disappear as if Inner Sakura would erase the fact she had just had sex with a man she claimed to be completely over while married to someone else. Sakura had never thought herself to be a selfish person. As a medic, as a wife, a kinouchi, a friend and a mother she had always strove towards that ideal of self sacrifice. Now it was all ruined. One slip and she had destroyed it all. What would she tell her husband? What would she tell her son?
"Sakura, look at me!" he snapped suddenly, pulled her from her revere.
She did. Her green eyes shooting upwards once more. His eyes were glistening now, delicate and almost feminine as he attempted to lock their gazes together. He looked scared. Normally she would have laughed at the idea. Uchiha Sasuke was scared. He was one of the most feared nins in all of the Fire Country, he was in every BINGO book (even their own for sometime), he was wealthy, the last Uchiha and the most eligible bachelor in all of Konoha and here he was, sitting in front of her completely naked and totally terrified.
"I have to go." she replied before he could get another word out. They were the only words in her mind. Screaming at her with all the power her inner self could muster.
Mindlessly she dropped the bed sheet and began rooting around his apartment for her discarded clothing. It was dark save for the lightening that outlines her smooth body. Outside the rain stormed. It had been the reason they had holed up at his place initially, now she thought it would have been smarter to brave the storm.
He moved quickly. Had she not been so distracted she probably could have countered it but instead she simply let his strong arms twist her around. Let his body force herself back down onto the bed and instantly he was upon her, his lips pressing down hungry against hers, his tongue demanding entrance. She could barely process that he was still naked, that they both were, and that the chances of this going very wrong a second time were skyrocketing each minute she let this continue.
"Sasuke," she moaned, it was a plea for mercy although she wasn't sure which part of her was asking for it.
"Don't leave." he whispered softly as he pulled back, his hands reaching to hold her face level with his, "Please, don't leave me. I love you. I think I always have."
Sakura felt tears well up in her eyes. This was it. The moment she had dreamed of every night of her girlish childhood. In her mind it had come with roses and dinners, moonlit walks and promises of a lifetime together. Now it came in tempests and betrayal and the overwhelming sense of guilt that was slowly eating her alive.
"I can't." she begged, closing her eyes, "I can't Sasuke. It's too late."
Her words seemed to have an impact as he completely froze. Taking the opportunity to escape Sakura rolled out from under him, desperately pulling clothing onto her body. She needed to hide her nakedness; as though clothing her body would cloth her emotions as well. As if anything would hide the situation from her mind at this point and if she tried hard enough she could turn back time and forget where it all went so wrong.
Sasuke was obviously not in agreement with her unspoken decision. One look told her he was not going to give up on this so easily.
"You love me." he stated dangerously, his dark eyes had taken on that darkness that so many years of isolation and vengeance had made second nature.
She felt the tears pour from her eyes but she stayed steady. She lifted her head to face him mustering every ounce of dignity that had not been burned away through their encounter. Calling upon her anger, her only source of strength she turned self loathing against him.
"Of course I love you." she snapped, "I've always loved you. I've loved you since we were twelve."
"Then why are you fighting me?" he replied hotly, "Why are you running away? I never took you to be such a coward."
She felt the anger bubble forth instantly his words igniting the kindling in her mind. Her mentor had always commented on her temper and she did Tsunade- sama proud with the speed and force that were combined in the blinding back handed slap across the young man's face.
"You complete asshole," she snarled, "You total prick. You LEFT me. You got up and walked out on ME. Don't you ever, ever forget that because I never did. I moved on Sasuke. I'm married now. I have a son. What am I supposed to do? Just up and leave? They love me. They need me and depend on me. You want me to forget about them because you just figured it out? I won't do that because I can't. I won't just LEAVE them like you LEFT me."
He grabbed her arm. Holding her tightly in place.
She knew he would have to say his piece. She waited for it bravely. As bravely as she could wait for a death blow. She knew it would be just as painful.
"So you're going to forget about it then? he whispered darkly, surely not one to disappoint. "Can you even do that? Go back to that emotionless robot and pretend that you love him? That he's even capable of loving you? That he's even human? Forget about him Sakura. We all know that your fairy tale marriage is sham. That you married him because he was a replacement for ME. That it was all about sex and then you got pregnant. So what will you do then? Go home and play happy mother and wife all the while dreaming that it's me you're fucking. Tell me then, tell me that this is worthless, that you don't want me and that this was a mistake that will never happen again and I will let you go. I will never mention it. I won't even try again and we'll erase the past few hours."
His words hit a little too close to home for her and the tears poured forth unbidden. She felt her entire body slump against his as she weakly beat at his chest, as he forcefully held her to his body. She would never really be too sure of how she responded or what she said after that all Sakura knew was that the rain had stopped a few hours later and it was only then she left Sasuke's apartment. Knowing full well that he had branded himself on her and that there was nothing she could do to erase it.
The door was open when she finally got home, hardly a surprise considering the room was occupied and said occupant immediately hurled himself at her legs.
"Mummy, your home!" the little boy cried excitedly.
Sakura looked down at a pair of little green eyes that matched her own. Honestly it was probably one of her only contributions to her son Seiko, everything else by way of appearance he had taken from his father. She could at least thank her lucky stars that Sai's emotionless attitude was not an inherited trait. Her son was as bright and vibrant as any child of hers could be.
"Look, look…" he whined, dragging her into the room, barely letting her get her sopping wet shoes and jacket off.
Sakura smiled as he brought her to the floor near the couch where he was obviously deeply invested in his work. A rudimentary drawing of a bird was immediately chosen and prominently displayed in his chubby little hands. His face beamed with pride. So strange to see. A genuine smile on a face that belonged to Sai. It was almost a contradiction.
"That's very good darling." she smiled softly, running her fingers through the fine, ink black hair.
"Daddy said it was good too." Seiko smiled proudly, leaning into her affection and wrapping his baby arms around her neck "I'm going to be like him when I'm big. I'm going to be an artist."
She had never thought her four year old son's words would hurt her so deeply. Nor did she think the sight of her husband coming out of his studio with a smile on his face would twist the knife all the deeper. She never knew whether or not the smile was sincere. He never knew what her emotions actually meant. It was a good thing. Because as he smiled she smiled back, ignoring the tears pouring down her face and assuming they were happy tears. Degrees of happiness eluded him as well.
It was so strange. The mundane acts of making supper after what she had done earlier that night. The terribly normal routine of eating together. Seiko provided the conversation as always. Sai wasn't much for idle chitchat or idle anything for that matter. He merely kept his fake smile plastered on as he watched his family eat. Sakura's mind wasn't with either of them that night anyhow. Sasuke's words echoed in her head, whispering dissent into her ears. Her thoughts all revolved around the man who had told her that she would come back, whether she liked it or not. She could not deny him. Looking at her child smiling at her with little pieces of rice in his hair she felt the horrible sinking feeling that perhaps Sasuke was right. Seiko could root her here if need be but he alone would never be enough to tie her to Sai.
She got Seiko ready for bed herself, as she always did. Sai wasn't to close to the boy. He didn't really know how to react to this bundle of happy energy. He had no way to relate other then through art. Even before Sasuke, Sakura had thought if it weren't for the art the two would have no contact with one another at all. Sakura had long ago given up the thought of additional children. It was hard enough with Seiko and Sai, she didn't think she would be able to handle another dependant.
That night, while she slept her eyes focused on the open window. She still didn't know what to do. She still was unsure about how to handle her current situation or if Sasuke's words had been right. Sai loved her, she was certain of that. Whether or not he was capable of showing it was not his fault. She had known it when she married him. She had gone into it clear headed or so she had thought. Now it all seemed fogged.
Her husband was curled against her, head resting peacefully between her shoulder blades. Blissfully unaware of the impending storm. Their son was across the hall, sleeping his childish sleep. Chances were sometime in the night he would come over to their room and tuck into their bed. She had never thought of it before but he always chose Sai's side. As though cuddling into his emotionless father would keep those monsters at bay. She knew Sai and Sieko needed each other. She knew that they needed her. And she knew that she needed Sasuke. So, faced with a situation of complete helplessness all she did was cry silently as she watched the skies darken and the rain begin to fall once again.