TITLE: Pranks n babies
AUTHOR(S): The mpreg spirit (Banana) and Joulez moon (Orange)
PART: 1/2
EMAIL: Please review for feedback
RATING: R (just to be safe)
PAIRING: JP/SB, JP/LE
LISTS:
List J- Sirius Black
List J- James Potter
SPOILERS: POA
WARNINGS: Mpreg, slash
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created
and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited
to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and
Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or
trademark infringement is intended.
SUMMARY: Sirius plays a prank on James, which backfires and causes major trouble…
AUTHOR'S NOTES: One person plays a practical joke by putting a spell on a friend. The spell has the unintended effect of impregnating that friend. Now the practical joker is considered to be the father. How does this effect their relationship? Choose who gets pregnant and who the other father is. (Submitted by Lagoonlady)
BETA: Microsoft word
Pranks and Babies: Part 1
Sirius Black browsed through the library. "Come on, where is it?" He asked and his heart leaped as he found the book. Pulling the book off the shelf Sirius began browsing through it and tried to find the chapter he was looking for
He searched through the prank book till he found what page he was looking for: The false pregnancy: make your friends think they're knocked up.
He looked around to see that madam Prince wasn't looking, then tore out the page.
As he got out the library, he looked at the page, man, it wasn't a spell, it was a potion. Sirius despised potions. He sighed and made his way to the girls bathroom on the second floor. Reaching the bathroom, Sirius looked around him to make sure no one was watching or following him and then entered the deserted girls bathroom.
As put the beetle wings in and left it to simmer, he read over the page again: When made correctly, this potion will make the drinker, male or female, throw up, feel bloated and more, thus creating the effect of pregnancy, the symptoms will continue for a period of time, depending on how long the potion is left to simmer.
Checking his watch he realized it was dinner time.
'Oh well it will be alright here for a bit' thought Sirius as he got up and headed down to the Great Hall for dinner. As he was just about to enter the Great Hall when his best friends James, Remus, and Peter caught up with him.
"Hey Padfoot! where were you?" James asked, putting his arm round Sirius's shoulder
"Um... just you know around," answered Sirius trying to ignore how good it felt for James arm around his.
"Ok." James replied as they sat down to eat
"So what were you lot up to?" asked Sirius, digging into his sausages with gusto.
"Oh nothing much, I was with Lily." James said and Sirius laughed at the huge grin on his friends face, not knowing that in the girls bathroom, Myrtle, who was feeling particularly depressed today, had dropped bat blood into his potion...
"What about you Remus, Peter where did you two go off to?" asked Sirius completely oblivious to the fact that his potion was bubbling over and Myrtle had dumped a load of cold water into the cauldron.
"Trying to help Peter with his potions homework." Remus said
"And failing miserably." Peter added.
"Relax Pete, we're all useless at potions here!" James said and behind James's back Sirius smirked. 'Oh Jamie boy, you're gonna think twice when you see what I'm cooking up for you.' Sirius thought
Sirius let out his bark like laugh earning him curious stares from his three friends
The next afternoon, Sirius made his way back to the bathroom to find his potion right where he had left it, but now the level seemed higher.
Not thinking anything of the different level of the cauldron, Sirius kneeled down and began pouring some of it into a beaker with a lid on it. Standing up he cleaned up his mess and left the bathroom not noticing that Myrtle was quietly giggling in her toilet cubicle.
Sirius got to dinner early that night and went to where James always sat, he poured the whole vial into his goblet, because according to the paper, the more potion, the stronger the effects are, and with how much he was adding, James was going to be throwing up at the latest the next morning.
Taking his seat Sirius waited for his friends to arrive. Sure enough at dead on five o clock James, Remus, Peter, and Lily came strolling into the Great hall all talking to each other. Sirius tried his hardest not to send a glare at Lily. After all James wasn't gay and he couldn't even think of breaking them up over something that would never happen.
As dinner passed, Sirius watched as James downed the whole goblet. "The pumpkin juice tastes different tonight, better, I'm gonna get some from the house elves later." He said.
"No!" Sirius said suddenly. "I'll get it for you." He said.
"Thanks Sirius, I knew there was a reason you were my best friend."
"Not for long Jamesy!" He thought slyly and left the hall, ready to get a jug of the potion for James.
Entering the bathroom again he found Myrtle pouring more bats blood into the mixture. "MYRTLE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" screamed Sirius furiously.
Myrtle flew away giggling. Sirius hurried over to the potion, it was still the same colour and it didn't seem any different except a darker orange.
'Hmm... maybe it hasn't had any different effects,' thought Sirius, pouring another cup full. He left the cauldron and went to the dorm. By the time he got back to the dorm with the jug and James, Remus and Peter were already there.
"That took you long enough did it Siri?" asked James, "Did you get lost?"
"No he probably just decided to add something for you in it," joked Remus
"No, why would I do that?" Sirius asked, trying not to panic.
"Well I don't care, now give here!" James said snatched the jug from Sirius.
"I was only joking Sirius don't get your knickers in a twist," replied Remus.
"Yeah, whatever." Sirius said and sank onto his bed.
Sirius watched as James drank the whole cup full down in one go and then watched as he prepared himself for bed. By the time they went to bed that night, James had drunk half the jug. Sirius's dreams and thoughts that night were filled with images of how much James would panic and how it would secure Sirius his position as the ultimate marauder...
The next morning Sirius woke up to someone thundering around in the dorm room towards the bathroom, then the sounds of retching floated through the bathroom door.
"James, are you alright?" Sirius asked, trying to sound concerned as he, Peter and Remus got up.
A few more sounds of retching were heard before a weak reply of "Just...fine..." was heard.
Sirius looked him over once, surely the potion was only meant to make them feel ill not actually make them sick? thought Sirius confused and a little bit scared.
"Sirius, are you okay? You look as though you have swallowed something sour?" asked Remus noticing the colour drain from Sirius face.
"Yeah, I'm ok, I, I have to go!" He said and ran out the dorm back to the library. He found the book again and looked up the page, he then remember that he had torn it out, but he also saw a second page that he hadn't looked at.
Reading down the page he found the sentence he was looking for, although the potion is made to make the person think he/she is pregnant if given a high dosage they will actually experience symptoms of pregnancy. Sighing a sigh of relief Sirius placed the book back on the shelf and headed for his first lesson of the day.
As the next few weeks passed, Sirius watched as James threw up every morning, complained about feeling bloated and needing to pee more often.
Every night he would watch as James ranted on about not feeling like himself any more. If this kept up he would end up blowing the whole prank out of the window and just tell him it was all a prank. He couldn't stand the persistent whining much longer.
"James if you feel that bad, go to the infirmary," suggested Remus
"No, I'm fine, it'll probably pass soon." James said, his stubborn nature taking hold.
The next morning, was exactly what Sirius was waiting for. He was going to pull out all the stops, give James the counter potion and tell him it was a prank. Then he would have one up on James for the best prank of all times.
He went to the library to find the book with the counter potion, but when he got there, the book was gone. He searched the whole library and couldn't find anything. He went back to his dorm and found the page in his trunk.
He breathed a sigh of relief as it said the potion would last 2 months at the most. And all though the next morning he didn't give James anything, before breakfast the next best thing happened.
James was starting to feel quiet emotional now- another effect of the potion.
When Sirius went to wake James up, he found the chaser all ready up and crying.
"What's wrong James?" He asked and James stood up, dragged him by the collar to the bathroom and stood on the scale.
Looking down at the scale Sirius saw that James had put on about half a stone, not even remotely enough to get this worked up at.
"James why are you crying over a little bit of weight gain?" asked Sirius confused.
"I'm getting fat! In the 2 last weeks I've gone up a whole stone." He sobbed into Sirius's shoulder
Feeling sort of awkward at the moment all he could think to do was wrap an arm around his best friend's shoulder, and that is exactly what he did.
"Don't worry about it James you still look perfect and I'm sure Lily hasn't noticed you put any weight on!" suggested, Sirius obviously this was the wrong thing to say.
"Oh god, you see it!" He said and jumped out of Sirius's embrace before pulling off his robes and letting off a horrid scream.
"James calm down!" said Sirius, trying to placate him but James wasn't having any of it and ran out of the bathroom crying, "JAMES COME BACK HERE NOW!" shouted Sirius running after his best friend.
He pounced on James as he ran into the dorm. Peter and Remus just watched as Sirius picked up James, clad in boxers and put him on the bed. He lay next to the still struggling young man and just cuddled him, finally he felt James go lax against his hold on him and felt him cuddling up to his chest.
"Feel better now?" asked Sirius.
James nodded.
"James, Will you go to the infirmary now?" Remus asked and James nodded.
"I'll go after breakfast." He said and all 4 boys got up and got dressed.
"Good don't want you to go psycho on us again, alright mate?" replied Sirius laughing.
After getting dressed the four dorm friends left the bedroom to go and get some breakfast.
At breakfast, James did something really strange. "James, what are you doing!" Peter asked as James took some apples and started putting salt on them.
"Umm... eating Peter what does it look like I'm doing?" asked James irritated, at the intrusion on his morning breakfast.
"Yeah but salt on apples that's a little weird don't you think?" asked Remus pulling a disgusted face as James bit into the apple and hummed contently.
James shrugged and continued humming. "You sound like a puffskien!" Sirius said tears welled up in James's eyes.
"Um... Sirius I don't think that was the best thing to say," replied Remus whilst nodding at James.
Looking at James Sirius saw the tears already silently cursing down the boys face, "Oh James I didn't mean anything by it, I'm sorry,"
James got up and ran out the hall before Sirius could stop him James ran all the way back to Gryffindor tower there he ran into his current girlfriend Lily Evans, not saying anything to her he barged past and ran up the boys dormitories.
"I'm what?" James said to Madam Pomfrey as he sat in the infirmary later that morning.
"I said, You're pregnant M Potter." She said
and James laughed. "You're kidding!"
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are!"
"No I'm not!" They argued before she sighed and asked James if he wanted a paternity test.
"But I haven't slept with anyone how can this happen to me?" questioned James to the matron.
"I don't know Mr. Potter but I suggest you find out," answered Madam Pomfrey, "Now do you want this paternity test or not?"
"Yes, I want it." He sighed and when madam Pomfrey waved her wand at the slight bump in his stomach, the strangest thing happened:
It showed Sirius's face, it was spinning round and he was laughing. James got up and ran out the infirmary to the boy's dorm to wait for Sirius to come back from lessons.
James was pacing back and forth, 'this can't be happening. This cant be happening,' thought James, 'How on earth did Sirius get me pregnant?'
Sirius entered the dorm shortly afterwards and James sat him down on the bed. "Sirius, I have something to tell you."
"What?" asked Sirius nervously.
"Sirius, I... you see... well... oh Merlin Sirius I'm pregnant by you," answered James quickly.
Sirius then did something unexpected. He started laughing. "What's so funny?" James asked angrily.
Gasping for air Sirius answered, "It was just a prank,"
"What did you just say?" asked James deadly quiet.
"It's just a prank, it's not real, it makes you think you are pregnant!" Sirius laughed.
"A prank?" asked James before he started shouting, "YOU CALL ME BEING SICK EVERY BLOODY MORNING, GAINING WAIT, AND FEELING EMTIONAL, A PRANK!"
"Yes, James, a prank! And you believed you actually were pregnant!" Sirius laughed.
"B-b-b-but Madam Pomfrey she said I was pregnant, I had a check up I. had a bleeding paternity test it all came back positive," replied James feeling very confused right about now.
"You'll see James, the potion only lasts 2 months, max." Sirius said, not knowing how wrong he was...
Two months later and Sirius had been proven wrong. James had a nice small bump protruding out from all of his tight tops he wore and he was even more into the eating-apples-with-anything-on-them craving. The last one was with mustard on, which totally grossed them all out.
"Sirius, tell me, if it was supposed to only last two months, why, do I still have this!" He said grabbing onto his bump.
Gulping Sirius answered, "Um... well... you see... um... I don't know..."
"Arggh!" James said and then grabbed onto his arm and dragged him out the dorm. The bumped into Lily in the common room and James ignored her, something he tended to do a lot lately.
James dragged him all the way through the castle till the reached the Room of Requirement. He paced out side it three times before again tugging on Sirius arm and pulling him into the room that held a couch and fire place.
"Sit," ordered James as he closed the door.
"James what are we doing here?" asked Sirius curiously.
James didn't reply but just stared into space.
"James what is wrong?" asked Sirius softly, James looked over to where Sirius was sat and he felt a lump form in the back of his throat, "James?"
"It's just, I need to find out of I am really pregnant, or if it's just your stupid prank."
Sighing Sirius replied, "I think I can safely say that I screwed up big time, I was just looking for a good prank and I came across that one. I am so sorry James I would never intentionally hurt you, you know that right?"
"Yeah, I know," James said and him and Sirius came closer together, they stared at each and kissed briefly before James pulled away
"I shouldn't have done that Sirius," replied James hastily, "I'm sorry I just got caught up in the heat of the moment,"
James tried to leave the room but Sirius grabbed hold of his hand and spun him back around and kissed him more forcefully this time. At fist James resisted but then he just melted into the kiss and brought his arms up around Sirius neck.
"I love you James," Sirius moaned as they broke apart.