Here's Bones' POV!!!
P.S. the last chapter was inspired greatly by Waiting on an Angel by Ben Harper. This one is inspired by About a Girl by The Academy Is, even though it has nothing to do with anything. :D
It was unbelievable! Poor Jim! He had no clue! And it's really sad what happened to him. I don't normally think nice thoughts about Jim but it broke my heart. Christine too. He doesn't know what it feels like to have someone like her around, someone who knows you inside and out, like the back of her own hand. She knows me better than I know me. It's an amazing feeling, I promise you. It's unbeatable. It's like reaching this level of perfection, and complete, unconditional acceptance and it's nothing less than paradise.
I know a fair bit about Jim, but I'd be the first to admit that you're a fool if you think you know everything about Jim. He's a highly private man, ever since he was a highly private boy. He's had a really bad childhood and he had loads and loads of insecurities and fears. Lord knows what about, he's a man of many talents, but there it is. I don't know why he has periodic nightmares which wake me with their signature on the sleep register, and I don't know what they're about, but I do know that it'd do him a world of good if he woke up in arms which could comfort him.
He came to me long ago, and described everything I had felt when I fell in love with Christine, and I was so relieved I laughed and laughed and laughed. I do suppose it made him angry, but there's nothing I can do about that, really. It's hard to describe how happy I felt for him. I have no clue who's the object of his affections, but good for them.
Jim didn't normally like a person. He just liked their bodies. The fact that he had some idea of how he was being affected was a good sign. He probably didn't know he liked someone, or that person in particular, but he knew something was going on. I couldn't stop him leaving, really, but I did manage to tell him that it was okay; he wasn't sick. All was well. Or as well as it was going to be, anyway.
He met Spock outside and I watched them walk down the corridor together, and I was suddenly struck by the sense of rightness about them. It was embedded so deep, it was even in the way they walked.
Jim has this swagger, you know. It isn't a standard swagger, with arms swinging and stuff, but you can tell, he's swaggering. He has this ultimate confidence in his movement, a smooth motion. His shoulders are always straight, back ramrod straight though he managed to disguise it to make it look like a cheeky slouch.
Spock walks like a gentleman, honestly. He takes smooth, even steps, his back is obviously straight. You could have used the man as a level; the ground itself would shake but Spock's back would be at a gradient of infinity. He is just basically very straight. He holds his hands neatly behind his back, oozing deference, but he isn't. Not really. He's slightly taller than Jim, and has this whippy feeling about him, that has nothing to do with whipped cream. You can tell he's muscular, but you wouldn't notice it until you tried. If he were his grandfather he would call Spock a whippersnapper. But he wasn't, so he didn't say it.
And they fit. Perfectly. It was really weird. They matched, like pieces of a puzzle that looked odd just cuz they were different colours. But the smoothness of the fit, that satisfying click, they fit. They walked evenly, paces matched. Right, left and right again.
When McCoy walked into a room with the two of them, even if they were at opposite ends of the room, not even looking at each other, it felt like he was interrupting something incredibly private. Like he'd walked into a room where they were having sex. Like they were lovers.
It was upon having this thought that he woke up from his slumber and decided that he needed a run. Christine slept on, for which he was grateful. He didn't think he could have stood telling her that he thought Jim had the hots for Spock. Come to it, he didn't think he could stand even thinking it. He kept envisioning the two of them in a field of daisies, of all things, running toward each other with open arms….
He shuddered. Fuck. He couldn't handle this.
But after a while he got over the fact that Jim had the hots for…. Well, he would be okay if he didn't complete that sentence.
Either way, he was happy for Jim. It wasn't like he had issues with gay people, lord knows, he's had his experiments in his own time. It wasn't even that he had an issue with gay sex. It was just… well… Spock? Well, there was no accounting for taste, right?
Over the next few days it was hard to get used to Jim watching Spock all the time. It wasn't obvious to anyone except him (or so Christine told him) but it was killing him.
Jim was pining after Spock. Pining!
It was incredible! Jim never pined, never! But he was pining for Spock. And it was really sad. Bones could see it in Jim's face that he had long ago given up hope for the possibility of a relationship with Spock. Again, it was obvious to him and no one else. Jim wasn't a giver-upper, normally, but he had given up, and defeat was literally killing him.
Jim looked like crap. McCoy guessed he wasn't sleeping well, or not even sleeping at all. He had dark rings around his eyes and he was losing weight because he wasn't eating at all. McCoy sighed.
Love was good, but not when it was unrequited love. Unrequited love was bad. Really bad. He hated to see Jim like this, but it was true. Spock might reject Jim and then leave, and he honestly didn't think Jim could survive that. Not in this condition, not ever.
He knew Spock was Jim's best friend, and he could accept it because he'd changed. It was only right that Jim change too. He didn't mind, much. He still knew he was Jim's second best friend. But ripping Spock away from Jim would be nothing but needless, destructive cruelty. He best thing to do now would be to stay mum about it.
Hopefully Jim would get over Spock and start mooning after some other girl, but the chances of that were low. McCoy sighed. Life was a bitch sometimes. It really was. Poor Jim.
Well? Whaddya think? I know this one rambles a bit too, but I'm okay with that. Review to let me know, okay?
Love,
Lady Merlin