Hello cruel world.
I am going to tell you all about a story where everything is not well.
Once upon a time there was a bear.
And his mother.
And his father.
And they lived in a hut.
And they ate porridge every single day.
They had a screwed up life where everything had its own routine and schedule.
Now THAT'S messed up.
And then one day, the AMI grew tired of the bears' accurate timing and never-changing day planners.
And we sent an employee, Goldilocks, to correct this wrong.
And she did.
She broke into their house while they took their routine walk before their porridge.
And messed up their breakfast.
And talked to herself all the while.
And then, she decided that perhaps they would still find a way to slip back into routine.
So she sat on all their chairs, and broke one of them with her superior weight.
And talked to herself even more so as to mark the walls with her different and un-routine voice.
But Goldilocks knew that her job was to mess up their schedule.
And she wanted to get paid.
She didn't like getting fired.
And so she went on upstairs to their bedroom.
It was so screwed up that everyone had their separate bed, bedside table, lamp, and book.
Not to mention a water glass for each.
She wasn't going to leave it that way.
She tried all the beds, and messed up the covers and broke the water glasses, and ripped the conclusion page out of every book.
Then she was tired.
And she fell asleep on the bed of the baby bear.
But she failed to wake up before the bears returned.
The bear family was frustrated when they found that their house had been broken into in a very un-routine-like fashion.
And their porridge without the neat skins on top.
And one bowl already eaten.
And their chair cushions all with dents in them.
And skid marks on the floor where the chairs had been purposely dragged back and forth all over the living room tiles.
And one chair broken.
All was not well for the bears.
Ears ringing with rage at their schedule changes, and migraines already forming, they went upstairs to see what else had been done.
They found that their beds had all been slept in.
The covers were pulled back.
And the pillows were strewn all over the floor.
And broken glasses littered the remaining space.
And the most important pages in their before-bed-time books were torn out.
And fluttered in the early morning breeze.
And then they found Goldilocks.
Tired from her mission.
Asleep on the baby bear's bed.
The baby bear got a nasty shock out of it.
But it was probably for the best anyhow.
And the bears were angry.
Very angry indeed.
They started to foam at the mouth.
And they glared and stared and roared and blared.
Their anger at being kicked out of their usual schedule.
Goldilocks woke up.
And blinked.
And ran out to the rooftop.
Where we had dispatched a chopper to get her out of the danger zone.
The chopper was heavy.
It made a large hole where it rested on the rooftop.
Yet another thing to help in getting the bears to have a more interesting life.
Success.
The End.
I am going to tell you all about a story where everything is not well.
Once upon a time there was a bear.
And his mother.
And his father.
And they lived in a hut.
And they ate porridge every single day.
They had a screwed up life where everything had its own routine and schedule.
Now THAT'S messed up.
And then one day, the AMI grew tired of the bears' accurate timing and never-changing day planners.
And we sent an employee, Goldilocks, to correct this wrong.
And she did.
She broke into their house while they took their routine walk before their porridge.
And messed up their breakfast.
And talked to herself all the while.
And then, she decided that perhaps they would still find a way to slip back into routine.
So she sat on all their chairs, and broke one of them with her superior weight.
And talked to herself even more so as to mark the walls with her different and un-routine voice.
But Goldilocks knew that her job was to mess up their schedule.
And she wanted to get paid.
She didn't like getting fired.
And so she went on upstairs to their bedroom.
It was so screwed up that everyone had their separate bed, bedside table, lamp, and book.
Not to mention a water glass for each.
She wasn't going to leave it that way.
She tried all the beds, and messed up the covers and broke the water glasses, and ripped the conclusion page out of every book.
Then she was tired.
And she fell asleep on the bed of the baby bear.
But she failed to wake up before the bears returned.
The bear family was frustrated when they found that their house had been broken into in a very un-routine-like fashion.
And their porridge without the neat skins on top.
And one bowl already eaten.
And their chair cushions all with dents in them.
And skid marks on the floor where the chairs had been purposely dragged back and forth all over the living room tiles.
And one chair broken.
All was not well for the bears.
Ears ringing with rage at their schedule changes, and migraines already forming, they went upstairs to see what else had been done.
They found that their beds had all been slept in.
The covers were pulled back.
And the pillows were strewn all over the floor.
And broken glasses littered the remaining space.
And the most important pages in their before-bed-time books were torn out.
And fluttered in the early morning breeze.
And then they found Goldilocks.
Tired from her mission.
Asleep on the baby bear's bed.
The baby bear got a nasty shock out of it.
But it was probably for the best anyhow.
And the bears were angry.
Very angry indeed.
They started to foam at the mouth.
And they glared and stared and roared and blared.
Their anger at being kicked out of their usual schedule.
Goldilocks woke up.
And blinked.
And ran out to the rooftop.
Where we had dispatched a chopper to get her out of the danger zone.
The chopper was heavy.
It made a large hole where it rested on the rooftop.
Yet another thing to help in getting the bears to have a more interesting life.
Success.
The End.