(-- --)
Linger
She felt an electric current coursing through her body. It flowed so easily, gathering at her heart. Though she was initially scared of the feeling, she didn't move. The attraction was far purer than lust or desire. Everything felt so right. What she felt for him was right.
It wasn't a chaste kiss. It wasn't like the innocent, experimental kisses they shared when they were little kids. He was sixteen. She was fifteen. They knew what they were doing.
It was a passionate kiss, almost desperate, but still so tender. An arm was wrapped around his neck. She caressed his cheek with her other hand. His arms were wrapped around her tiny waist, his fingers tracing incoherent symbols on her back. Their lips were firmly locked, tongues gently prodding each other.
"Gippal."
He broke the kiss, taking a half step away from her. He looked up at the driver of the hover. It was already filled with other men. Men and teenaged boys who were ready to leave Home and fight.
"We have to leave soon."
He nodded and turned back to her. He could see the sadness in her eyes. She didn't want him to leave. He kissed her again. It was a short one this time. He loitered for a second and sighed slightly.
"Bye," he whispered to her.
"Bye." She blinked back her tears. "Come back alive."
"I will. I won't die so easily."
He let go of her and began walking towards the hover. The touch of his skin rolled off of the tips of her fingers. She watched him board the hover and drive away until it could no longer be seen.
She sighed. She rolled her lips under, savoring the taste of the kiss. Her father came up from behind her.
"He's a good boy, and I like him."
She nodded.
"But be careful, Rikku. He'll break your heart," warned Cid.
She knew. But she was in too deep now.
The warmth of his lips lingered on hers.
(-- --)
If you, if you could return,
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade.
I'm sure I'm not being rude,
But it's just your attitude.
It's tearing me apart,
It's ruining everything.
"He was here, ya know?" said her father. She whirled around to face him, her eyes wide. "He was here on the airship."
"When?!"
"Since we blew up Home."
"B-but I was here, too! I-I-I…he…ugh…" She sighed heavily and whispered, "Is he okay?"
"He's alive, if that's what ya mean. Still a cocky son of a gun. Didn't want to talk about what happened after he left. I don't know when he left the airship."
"Did he say anything about me?"
"…I'm sorry, baby."
Her father's words lingered in her head.
(-- --)
I swore, I swore I would be true,
And honey, so did you.
So why were you holding her hand?
Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time?
Was it just a game to you?
But I'm in so deep; you know I'm such a fool for you.
You've got me wrapped around your finger.
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
Her father warned her.
It was a normal girls' night out with Yuna and Paine in Luca. They talked and laughed over dinner. Everything was fine until she saw him. He was entering the restaurant with a busty brunette. His arm was wrapped firmly around her waist. They sat down at a table in the corner of the room. She watched him nibble on the girl's ear as she let out a loud giggle.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. Tightly gripping her glass, she took a drink, but her throat still felt dry. She was beginning to feel a little light-headed. She shut her eyes for a moment.
"Let's g-go, shall we?" she said. She hastily paid for the bill and grabbed her purse. She almost ran out of the restaurant, hiding her face. She didn't want him to see her.
He's a player. He's a player. He's a player.
She always knew, but couldn't help it. She loved him, but was everything he ever said to her a lie? Was she just another mark on the wall?
"Rikku, are you okay?" asked Yuna.
She shook her head.
Paine understood. She also saw him with the other woman. "He'll break your heart," she said.
"Pops said the same thing. But I…"
Yuna understood afterwards. "But you love him."
She sat down on a nearby bench. "I'm such a fool."
The sweet words he once spoke to her lingered in the fresh wound of her broken heart, stinging all the while.
(-- --)
Oh, I thought the world of you.
I thought nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong, I was wrong.
She didn't remember how they ended up together in the first place.
She only could remember the times they were always in each other's arms. The times when they used to sneak out of Home late at night to hang around the oasis. The times when they used to kiss under the stars.
Those times were over. They were nothing but memories, and everything was different now.
She still grasped onto those lingering memories.
(-- --)
If you, if you could get by,
Trying not to lie,
Things wouldn't be so confused,
And I wouldn't feel so used.
But you always really knew,
I just want to be with you.
"Hey, Cid's girl, are you almost done?" he asked.
She removed the goggles from her face to look up at him. "Yeah."
"Good. After you're done, can you close down the shop for me? I have plans tonight." He gave her a careless smile. She used to love that smile when they were together. Now she just hated it when he used it on her. She gripped the wrench in her hand a little tighter.
"Where are you going?" she managed to ask.
"Luca. I've got a hot date tonight!" He grinned again.
She forced a smile. "Have fun," she said.
"Oh, I intend to. Night!" He left her all alone.
She collapsed onto the floor, her knees up to her chest. The tears she had held back for so long began streaming down her face. She flung the wrench across the room. It landed with a heavy clatter, echoing all around. She gripped her hair in frustration.
Didn't he see what he was doing to her?
The trails of her tears lingered on her face.
(-- --)
But I'm in so deep; you know I'm such a fool for you.
You've got me wrapped around your finger.
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
"Hey."
"Hey."
"What's wrong?" asked Tidus. "Whenever you're down, you always come back to Besaid."
"I'm not down!" she lied. Tidus raised an eyebrow at her. "Really!"
"You're an awful liar."
She smiled ruefully. "I know. But I wonder if lying to myself will make me feel any better."
Tidus offered her an arm and she took it as they began heading towards the village.
"Still thinking about him?"
"I try not to. I try to keep busy." She sighed, her nails digging into the palm of her hand. "I just thought I should come here and help with the wedding and Vidina."
"You really think that's a good idea? The wedding would just remind you of how much you love him."
"I don't care, Tidus," she snapped. "I just don't want to see him! I can't stand seeing him with other women! I was probably in love with him since I knew him way back then! And then…and then…"
Tidus pulled her into a hug.
"I don't want to feel anything for him anymore…My head says to stop, and my heart won't. I-I don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm tired of hoping that something will happen between us again. I'm tired of chasing after him. I'm such a fool."
He squeezed her and then ruffled her hair affectionately. "No, Rikku. He's the fool. He committed the worst crime in letting you fall in love without intending to catch your fall. He'll be sorry in the end."
"What are you going to do? Beat him up?" she joked.
Tidus grinned. "If that's what you want me to do! Best friends don't tolerate guys who break their friends' hearts." For the first time in a long while, she laughed with no malice or bitterness contaminating it. "There you go. You're not suited for tears and frowns."
"Thanks."
She couldn't help lingering over the fact that maybe she was ready to let go.
(-- --)
And I'm in so deep; you know I'm such a fool for you.
You've got me wrapped around your finger.
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
He was there at the rehearsal dinner.
She ignored him for the most part. Not because of that blonde woman straddling his lap but because the dinner was for Tidus and Yuna. She wasn't going to involve her problems on a day that wasn't even hers.
She was feeling fine. There was dancing going on around the bonfire. She danced as much as she could, jumping from partner to partner. She hadn't smiled so brightly in a while. It was a very nice change. When she was tired, she settled on sitting on the ground, playing with the one-year old Vidina.
"Rikku." She looked up to see him. He extended his hand out to her. "Dance with me."
Her eyes glanced from his hand to his face to the woman he had brought. The woman was chatting with Nooj, batting her long eyelashes at him. She picked up Vidina and handed him back to Lulu. She took his hand and he led her back to the bonfire.
She felt the electricity in her body again when their skin touched. She felt scared again, almost wanting to let go and push him away. He twirled her around, letting her slip from his fingers and back into them.
Maybe she was still a fool for him.
Her feelings still lingered.
(-- --)
You know I'm such a fool for you.
You've got me wrapped around your finger.
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
It was a wonderful wedding. Yuna looked absolutely beautiful, and Tidus was incredibly handsome. She, as the maid of honor and the bridesmaids looked decidedly inferior. All was as it should. She gave her toast to her two best friends, wishing them all the happiness in the world.
She danced as much as she could that night, occupying herself so he couldn't approach her. She didn't want to feel what she felt last night when she danced with him. Three years and she was still in love with him. He had moved on quickly, so easily. She wasn't going to hang on to those disappointed hopes and her broken heart. She was going to forget about him.
She stole a look at him. He was talking with Nooj and Baralai. With the end of the song, she took the opportunity to sneak outside onto the veranda. The cool air felt nice on her skin after so much dancing. She smiled softly and let out a content sigh as she fanned herself.
He came up from behind her, lightly touched her arm and said, "Hey."
She felt the jolt of electricity in her body again. She jumped, swatting his hand away. Realizing what she had done, she struggled to find the right words. "I…you…sorry. You just…s-startled me."
"Are you okay?"
She glared at him, though he didn't seem to notice.
"Peachy keen, jelly bean."
She suddenly recognized that look on his face. It was the one he always gave her before he left Home. Though he used to flirt with girls around the clock, he showed that face only to her. It was the face that showed nothing but unconditional love. She turned away. She couldn't bear the sight of it. That look made it seem like nothing had changed between them in the past three years.
"I just thought you'd like some company," he said.
"I actually want to be alone right now." When she didn't hear any movement of him leaving, she added, "Please."
He didn't move for a few seconds before beginning to walk back inside. She didn't know what made her do it. She whirled around and blurted out, "Was I just another mark on the wall to you?"
He stopped. "What?"
"Nothing!" she said quickly. "I…I don't know what I'm saying." She didn't hear anymore footsteps. She assumed he was still there, staring at her. She dropped her voice lower than a whisper to recite a poem she once heard. "Love is consuming and oh, so cruel. Through it all I've been such a fool. You promised to make my dreams come true. All you did was break my heart in two."
He strode over to her and gripped the stone railing, his arms trapping her in front of him. She stepped back far away from him as possible, though it didn't help much with the railing to stop her from moving back any further. She was careful not to touch him, lest she feel those jolts again.
"Do you have something to say to me, Cid's girl?" he growled.
She stared down at her feet before looking at him in the eye. "I love you," she said. "But after everything these past few years, I don't want to love you anymore." Tears brimmed in her eyes just like when he was leaving Home. "You broke my heart, Gippal, and I don't think I can ever forgive you for that."
His arms fell to his side. She relaxed a little.
"You don't want me, Rikku. I really don't deserve you."
"You can say all you want, but you're the only person I ever really wanted. I knew what I was getting myself into despite everyone's warnings. I was still in love with you even though you smashed my heart to pieces. And I hate that I'm such a fool for you, leading a foolish life just because I'm in love with another fool!"
They stared at each other. They were fools in love, so helplessly in love. They were drawn together, and there was probably no way they could ever successfully push each other away.
He pulled her into his arms, capturing her lips. All she could feel were those jolts of electricity in her body. She couldn't pull away. She didn't want to pull away. Everything felt right.
"We'll start over," he said, nuzzling her neck. "We'll take things slow."
"Because only fools rush in?"
"Yeah." He kissed her neck making her shudder. He let go and took hold of her hand, fingers entwined with each other. "Ready?"
She nodded, giving his hand a little squeeze.
All that was left to linger between them was uncertainty of the future, but from what she figured, they had a fighting chance after all.
This is my very first Final Fantasy X-2 story. I hope I did all right.
The song is "Linger" by the Cranberries. As I was listening to it, I felt like it really fit with Rikku and Gippal, especially with his flirtacious attitude. Though, I was afraid that I may have made Rikku too sulky and depressed. Oh, and I realize I never really say their names unless it is in dialogue. I wasn't really sure why I did that in the first place, but it seemed to stick.
The poem that Rikku recites is part of a poem called "Love Is Cruel" by Janet Boyd (aka Bee Spit).
Thank you for reading! (And a review would be much appreciated.)