Alas, the forgotten world of Stephen Colbert.. in fanfiction.
Dedicated to Stephen Colbert, in his greatness.
Contains balls.
"And you, sir, can suck my balls. My manly balls. Yeah, whatever, Jacques, you French bastard!" the voice of Stephen Colbert, host of the Colbert Report from his dressing room, through the ears of Bobby, the stage manager.
"Uh, Mr. Colbert?" he asked through the door, giving two knocks.
"Bobby. Come on in!" he said, leaning back on his chair. Colbert was in his underwear, with his large balls hanging out like a Liberal at Christmas time, giving Bobby something to throw up later.
"Uhh.. I'll come back later, Mr. Colbert." he said, turning around to leave.
"Nonsense! Come here Bobby." Colbert said with a deep and triumphant voice.
"Uh.. Yes boss." Bobby blinked, walking towards Stephen, making as little eye contact with the wondrous balls of glory in front of him.
"Look at them, Bobby! Aren't they glorious! Too bad that slut Charlene didn't care. God I hate her." he said, grabbing his cup of coffee.
"Think, Bobby, of all the manly sperm running around in there! All the possible presidents and warriors who will bring down those pussies over in France! Ahh.." he shooed Bobby away with his hand, getting up and walking to the closet.
After he got dressed, and buckled up, he was ready to spread the truth to America and beyond.
"Let's get it ON!" he shouted, screaming into the ceiling.
"Mr. Colbert, we're ready. The show starts in 4 minutes." a voice from above stated, Colbert nodding, and running towards the door, and breaking it down with his shoulder. As he turned, he saw the eyes.. of the enemy.
There were four, one Frenchman, one Canadian, Associate Visiting Professor Michael Adams, and a group of anti-Bush supporters. Colbert began to shake in anger, pulling a large sword from his belt, and grinning.
Who will win?
Stay tuned to find out.