Darkness
The pain was only the second thing he notices. The first was the darkness that consumes him. After this came nothing.
…
Ten minutes earlier
The reason why Chloe had told him to stay in the car for once was clear. The raid of a drug kitchen (the biggest in California) was dangerous. But like Lucifer always is, he said he would stay as long as he wasn't bored. ... Yeah that worked out, a minute after Chloe, Dan and the rest of the team enter and as the bullets still flew through the air was Lucifer inside.
Chloe had loved to roll her eyes at this. A minute and the child of a man get bored but she was busy. Dan was closest to the consultant and pulled him down as one of the dealer decided to take a shot at him.
"Stay down, man." Dan shouts at him and Lucifer listened for once, at least a bit. As the gun shots get less and less Lucifer risk a look over the table Dan had hid him for cover. A bullet crushes into the table and smashes a bottle, the content splashes into Lucifer's eyes.
He didn't notice that he was screaming or that Dan tried to help him. Just darkness and pain.
The slow beating noise woke him, the smell of disinfection was all around him and he could hear whispers. He had to be in a hospital but Lucifer didn't know why or for what reason. He was immortal, the devil, what could have hurt him and wouldn't be healed by now?
Looking for an answer in his mind the drug burst and the bullets came back to him. Panic floated his thoughts as he remembers the darkness. Never mind the pain, he was used to pain. His whole life was pain but the darkness. Lucifer tries to open his eyes and found nothing. It wasn't working and now the full blown panic attack came to light. The fanatic alarm signals from the heart monitor gave him attention from the humans around him. A doctor, two nurses and both detectives were with him in seconds.
Before he could fight himself free with supernatural strength two voices stopped him. Chloe and Daniel called his name and hold his hand, flying and grapping hand, to keep him grounded. Without even noticing what they were doing to him Lucifer stopped. He couldn't see but he hears their voice, voices he is familiar with, people do their best to calm him down. Lucifer controls his breathing and stops his panic before it was over boiling. Nothing was wrong, everything will be alright. Lucifer starts feeling the bandage around his eyes. They only have to take it off and he would be able to see again. Nothing to worry, he could feel Chloe and Daniel.
"Lucifer, everything is alright. You are in a hospital and the doctor wants to have a look at you. Don't panic, we will stay with you." Chloe´s smoothing voice, the one she uses at Trixie or crime victim that needed comforting was helping him too. Lucifer holds on tight at the two hands of his friend. They gave him a hold because the darkness was everywhere and it began to eat at his soul.
The doctor stands next to Chloe, as far as Lucifer could make it out. He asks a few questions, like how he is feeling and if there is any pain. But as the man who smelt like old cars and sweets, unwrapping the bandage around his head Lucifer was still face with the darkness. Unable to open his eyes. Chloe had to let go of his hand as the doctor was working but Dan was holding him tighter. But the sharp intake of breath form the detective told him everything that he needed to know.
His eyes didn't have healed magically while he was unconsciousness.
After the treatment doctor Garcia told him to rest and that there was nothing terminal to say about his eye sight, but with or without seeing Lucifer felt the lie and it made it a thousand times worse. The doctor and the nurse were finished and let them alone. Before Chloe or Daniel could say something, someone´s phone was ringing. It was the detective´s. She excuses herself for a second. That leaves Lucifer and Daniel alone in the hospital room.
"Hey." Daniel rubs his thump over Lucifer´s hand. "Can I get you something? Are you thirsty?" Lucifer just shakes his head he was again busy with fighting off the darkness and the fear that was coming with it. His eyes would heal as soon as Chloe was far enough away. But she had to leave for this first. Something he would like to avoid.
Chloe came back. "I´m sorry we have to go back to the station, they want a statement from us and I have to get Trixie." Dan was on the way to stand up as the hand around his was holding on.
"Please don't leave." The small voice that came from Lucifer was not faked. They both could feel it. They share a look and Dan sits down again.
"I will stay, Chloe will make her statement and come back later with Trixie so I can get the statement done. Sounds like a plan, right." Lucifer just nods. His voice is taken away by the shock of showing so much weakness in front of … of anyone.
Chloe left with the promise to hurry up. She even asks to bring Trixie and surprised the two detectives with a nod. Yes, Lucifer Morningstar, the devil was afraid of the darkness. Angel can be frighten too, especially if it is against their nature. Lucifer was light, he never liked the darkness, so he light it up with the sun and stars to make the darkness go away. Now he was blind, prisoner of his own darkness. His last hope was that as soon as Chloe was gone it would heal.
The room was silent again, to quiet for Lucifer, he needed something to fill the darkness or he would get crazy before his eyes could heal. "Daniel, could you …" How should he ask the man to fill the darkness, he doesn't know. He was the one that offered the things other want.
"What is it Lucifer?" The hand on his was moving his fingers again to show him that he wasn't alone.
"Could you talk to me about anything. I don't like the silence or … the darkness." Lucifer sighs, he hadn't been more honest in his whole life. He always keeps something for himself, mostly to not show any sign of weakness.
"Of course." And to Lucifer´s surprise Daniel doesn't ask what he should talk about, he just started to tell him about Trixie´s last school play, that it based on a book, he read the book but couldn't find much similarity and he was sure in the book was no giant alien that was marrying a King Kong but that was okay.
Lucifer smiled. Trixie had told him about the play herself at his last visit at Chloe´s. He let his friend talk and lend back against the cushion. Holding a hand and listening to a familiar voice. He might look like he was falling asleep but he listened and Daniel talked, for hours until Chloe came back.
Chloe holds her daughter´s hand tight, she had first wanted to change her mind about bringing her but Lucifer had seem so … so small and he really looked like he wanted someone there. She explained a bit to Trixie, just enough to prepare her but not enough to frighten her.
Looking through the window it looks like Lucifer was sleeping but Dan was talking to him and still holding his hand, it appears as if he needs it. Chloe opens the door and Dan looked up. "Lucifer." Trixie runs over to his bed. Chloe had told her to be careful.
Lucifer´s free hand searched for Trixie´s and found it easily. "Hello Beatrice." Dan and Chloe shared a look over their child, unnoticed by Lucifer. Since when does Lucifer call Trixie by her name and not child or spawn or something else?
"Daddy, can you lift me up, so I can give Lucifer a hug, he needs one to make him better." Trixie ask without letting go of Lucifer´s hand.
"Trixie, baby I don't think that is a good idea. Lucifer is hurt and –"
"I don't mind." Lucifer´s voice stopped Chloe in her speech. "If she wants to, of course." The devil continues. Dan stands up and let go of Lucifer for a second, he lifts Trixie up and his little girl cuddles into the devil who answers her hugging by laying his arms around her.
"You two alright for a second. I have to talk with Chloe outside." Lucifer and Trixie nod. As the door closes behind the adults they hear their little monkey start telling Lucifer about her day.
"We can´t let him alone. I don't think he would make it alone in this room. He … Lucifer somehow confessed to me that he is afraid of the darkness." Dan opens the conversation. He didn't want to spill the devils secret but he hadn't told Dan to stay quiet about it and they had to do something.
"He told you he is afraid of the darkness?" Chloe was surprised that Lucifer would say something like that in the first place, not so much about the fear itself. She had long suspected that Lucifer had some kind of trauma in his past, a trauma that had leaded to his behaviour and the devil thing. Darkness is actually a common fear by victim that had suffered from child abuse.
"Not with these words but you have seen him. Right now he would do everything to not be alone and someone holding him. We can´t let him here." Chloe sighs, she knows Dan was right. They would have to talk to his doctor about it.
"Lucifer, did Mommy told you about the concert we are having next week?" The devil relaxes his arms a bit and stopped holding the child like a prisoner. "Would you like to come? I'm part of the choir and my music teacher said I have a great voice." The child continues to talk about the concert and Lucifer begun to feel safe again. He could pretend that he was at Chloe's place and her spawn was taking her well owned attention from him. He would never say it out loud but the child was nearly as important as Chloe.
"You know it is okay to be afraid, right?" Lucifer nods, what else could he do. He knows his hands are still shaking and his body is tense even after he started to relax. "Good. Just wanted to make sure. So will you come with me to the concert? I would like to have you there.
"Yes child, I will be there." Before Trixie could continue to talk the door opens, Chloe and Dan came back.
"Hey you two." Chloe pulls her child in a half hug. "Monkey were you good for Lucifer?" Trixie nods but didn't let go of Lucifer. "Lucifer, we talked to your doctor you can come home with us. We only have to come back tomorrow for a check-up." Chloe tried to sound as normal as possible. "When that's okay for you."
It didn't take long for their consultant to understand what they are doing. Giving him the opportunity to keep them close because there was no way they would be allowed in here after visitors hours were over.
So it was decided, the girls left the room while Dan helps Lucifer to dress. They walk out of room, sign the devil out and walk to Chloe's car. With one hand on Chloe's shoulder the other was holding Trixie. It worked pretty well and Lucifer was able to feel someone close to him and hears them stopped the panic before it was growing. The darkness was still there but it was different, not so lonely.
Lucifer was placed in the sofa together with Trixie who really uses the time Lucifer let her hug him and hold hands. She really likes to do it. Chloe starts preparing dinner, Dan will stay until after.
He can feel their worried looks on him, but even trying to maintain some kind of appearance was unthinkable. There was still too much darkness, it was everywhere.
Dinner was just sandwiches, Lucifer eats one after Chloe nearly had to push it down his throat. He takes his medicine, mainly painkillers and falls asleep soon after. Trixie was sleeping soon after, still in Lucifer's arms and Chloe didn't have the heart to separate them. Dan gives her a blanket and she covers them both with it. Dan stays too and is offered Trixie's bed. Even if she wakes up she could share with one of her parents.
Lucifer wakes up, his body is tense and he was sweating. He had horrible nightmares from his first years of hell. All the pain from his injuries, the loneliness and the ever present darkness that was only stopped when the fire of hell burned high.
He clams down as good as he can and finally notice that he wasn't in his penthouse, next thing was that there was someone closes to him. He hears the small, deep breaths of Trixie, peacefully sleeping on his chest.
And suddenly the day before caught up with him. His free hand rises up to his eyes and pulls the wrapping as careful and fast as possible away. Lucifer takes one deep breath preparing himself for the shock if he couldn't see. He opens his eyes and a blurry world appeared, in twilight covered. Lucifer was relieved more then he could understand himself. Small tears appear in his eyes and make his vision even more blurry. But that was okay as long as he wasn't a prisoner of the darkness anymore. His eyesight would come back, in time.
Trixie starts to wake and finds him looking at her. Her small hands touch his cheek and whip the tears away. "Can you see me?" She questions with a voice that sounds as if she was still half sleeping.
"Yes child." She smiled. "Go back to sleep we still have a few hours before I have to find a way to explain to your parents why my eyes are healed."
"But you are an angel, you wounds heal faster. You told me." She sounded confused.
"Your parents need more then this but you know the truth that's good." Trixie closes her eyes and sleeps again.
Lucifer notice that he didn't mind being called an angel by her. He relaxes into the cushions, pull the blanket higher to cover the child proper, the devil also was asleep in minutes.