The Love Triangle between Severus, Lily, & Bellatrix Part 2
A/N: This chapter has taken me forever and a day to write. By the rate that I'm going, chapter 3 will be a while. I'm sorry, but it's difficult to find inspiration. I think I'll take a break and write other things. Have any ideas, let me know. :) (ily)
-x-
Lily looked up into Severus' eyes and saw that they were a soft grey. They were eyes of someone who had been hurt before. She wanted to kiss him, but knew she shouldn't. She was with James and didn't want to jeopardize anything they had. Why was she suddenly feeling emotions for Severus? Feelings she knew she never had. "Those eyes," she thought. She moved closer to Severus. His lips were inches from hers, but suddenly…
-Severus: "I can't do it. Lily, I do love you, but I can't do this."
Lily was stunned. Severus loved her. She didn't feel the same about him as he did. Or did she? She had wanted to kiss Severus.
With that, Severus walked away, back toward the castle. He couldn't do it. He didn't kiss the only person he loved or will ever love. He made his way up the stone steps not looking back at Lily. He had to think. Why didn't he have the guts to kiss Lily? Severus walked slowly down the empty corridor, feeling his heart break into a million pieces. Tears began to roll down his face and he wiped them from his cheek with the back of his hand. He wished that he could still be by her side, under the stars. He made it to the portrait. He gave it the password and moved on into the common room, praying that the fireplace was still lit and no one would be still downstairs. He was elated to see that the fire was roaring strongly and the common room was deserted. He sank into the nearest armchair and began to think about the recent events. He had almost kissed Lily Evans! But he was a coward and didn't. He sighed. He wondered where Bellatrix was…
Bellatrix watched as Severus walked back to the castle. "He didn't kiss Lily," she thought with a gasp. Finally, she realized that Lily was still standing there. She stayed frozen behind the weeping willow. She watched as Lily straightened her robes and wiped her face. "Was she crying," Bella thought. "She couldn't be!" Bellatrix waited until Lily was five minutes into the castle when she made her way back. Her mind was swimming with thoughts that kept bombarding her brain. She wanted to rush to Severus and kiss him, but she knew that she couldn't. She would never tell anyone of what she saw. But could she risk losing Severus forever? Bellatrix didn't want to think of that for the moment. She made it to the common room, where she was hoping she would be alone to sort out her thoughts, but there he was…
-x-
Lily stood out in the cold watching as Severus walked away. She couldn't believe that she almost kissed Severus! Cold tears and snow flakes were slowly sliding down her face. She had to get control of herself before she headed back in. She wiped her tears away. As she walked by the weeping willow, she thought she saw a shadow, but thought against it to investigate. Lily had to get inside to clear her mind. To think. She moved through the silent corridor quietly. She didn't want anyone taking notice to her, especially in this emotional state. To add to her dismay, James was still sitting in the common room when she got there. She let out a soft groan when he came forward and kissed her.
-James: "Hello beautiful. I waited for you after dinner. What happened to you?"
-Lily: Hi. I'm okay. Just got side tracked is all."
-James: "Have you been crying? Your eyes are all red. Are you okay?"
-Lily: "I-I'm okay James. (changing subject) So, about tomorrow?"
-James: "Oh yeah, about that. Can we take a rain check on that one? I have practice tomorrow and I kind of just found out."
-Lily: (sounding sad) Oh, well, we could try out for another night then, okay?"
-James: "Oh well goodnight."
-Lily: "Goodnight James."
They kissed each other goodnight and headed up separate stairs. Lily was glad to make it back to her room. She changed into pajamas and got into her four poster bed. She just had to relax and think about today's events. First, she went out with James and he asked her to meet his parents and second, Severus told her how he felt about her. This was just too much! Lily had to sleep. She guessed she figure everything out the next day, she hoped.
Severus heard the portrait door open and someone enter. He was surprised to see Bellatrix. She looked over at him and blushed. Severus admitted that she was beautiful. The way the wet snow flakes on her eye lashes made her eyes sparkle. Or was those tears? He watched as she made her way toward the fire. She sat down in an arm chair near Severus. He grew a bit worried. "She always seemed depressed," he thought. He wanted to comfort her a bit. To see what was wrong with her.
-Severus: "All right Bella?"
-Bella: "Hello Severus. What are you still doing up?"
-Severus: "Oh, well I've just made it in a few minutes ago. At a late night study session in the library. What about yourself?"
-Bella: "Just walking around idly." (sighs)
-Severus: "Are you okay, you seem so depressed lately? Anything you would like to talk about?"
-Bella: "Well, there is someone who I like who doesn't know I even exist. I love them and only have love for this person, but he doesn't like me. He likes someone
else."
-Severus: "Have you told this person how you feel?"
He couldn't help but think about how he told Lily about his emotions for her. "She didn't even seem to care," thought Severus. But he didn't want to think about that right now. He was talking to Bellatrix and she looked as if she needed someone to talk to now. Yet all he could think about was those green eyes. He wanted to see those green eyes again. He talked to Bellatrix for a bit longer, and then he bid her goodnight and went upstairs. He fell into bed and went to sleep instantly.
Bellatrix couldn't believe that Severus was still up! She went to an empty arm chair and sat down in front of the still blazing fire. Severus watched her contently. She wished that he loved her instead of Lily. She sighed with dismay. Severus began to talk to her and she poured out her heart. But she only wished she would have told him who the person was. She felt as if she told him how she felt, she would be rejected. Bellatrix would keep that with her until the day she died.
-Bella: "I don't think I could tell him how I felt because I know he doesn't feel the same for me."
-Severus: "How do you know?"
-Bella: (shouting) "BECAUSE I KNOW HE DOESN'T OKAY?" (crying) "I just know? I'm just going to go up to bed and sleep. Goodnight Severus."
-Severus: (a bit taken aback) "O-okay Bella. Goodnight."
Bellatrix went to her room and looked into the mirror. She had mascara running down her face. She cleaned herself up and changed. Maybe if she went to sleep, she'd wake up and this would all be a dream…
-x-
Lily woke up to a sunny day. It was bright out and she wanted to spend one of her days off and walk around. She still had the thoughts of last night still fresh on her mind. Severus leaning in to kiss her…his warm breath in her face. She shuddered a bit. She had to find Severus and talk to him. She wanted to know how he really felt and why he'd run off in such a hurry. Luckily, James would be out and at practice. She really didn't need that added distraction. Lily got up and moved to the open window. She looked out to the willow tree and sighed. "It happened there last night," she thought. Lily got dressed and headed down to the common room where she spotted James and Sirius. James quickly came toward Lily and planted a kiss on her forehead. She blushed.
-James: "Good morning beautiful. Sleep alright?"
-Lily: "Morning James. Morning Sirius." (yawning) "Yeah, I slept alright and you?"
-Sirius: "Morning Lily. I'll see you in the Great Hall James."
-James: "Alright. I slept great. Couldn't get you off my mind."
-Lily: (blushing slightly) "Oh, well shall we head to the Great Hall? I'm starved."
-James: "Okay, well let's go."
Lily and James headed to the Great Hall together. Lily wasn't very hungry, but she wanted to spot Severus at the Slytherin table. She really wanted to talk to him privately, but really didn't know when she would get the chance. She hoped it would be soon. As they walked into the Great Hall, Lily surveyed the Slytherin Table. "No Snape yet," she thought. She gave James a quick hug and he joined the waiting Sirius and she joined her friends. She sat down with a hug sigh and waited for the mail. She only wished she could talk to him…
Severus woke with a start, drenched in a cold sweat. He had had a dream that involved Bellatrix. He saw her walking down a dark, empty corridor. Her steps were drenched in blood. He began to follow her. She seemed to be in a trance, because he called out to her and she didn't answer or even acknowledge that he was there. He continued to follow her until they were at the North Tower, the highest tower in the castle. Bellatrix finally turned to Severus, but she wasn't exactly looking at him. Her eyes were shimmering with tears. In her hand was a dagger dripping with blood. Bellatrix slowly climbed up the ledge and she began to whisper something that he couldn't quite catch. Then, she did something he would never forget: She jumped off the ledge, plunging head first to her death. Severus couldn't believe it! What was this about?
Severus couldn't believe that he had a dream like that. He couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen to Bellatrix, but he had to get up and go out. It was sunny and this was a perfect day to do nothing, but Severus had too much on his mind to not do anything. He quickly got dressed and went down into the common room. He didn't see Bellatrix. "Maybe she was down in the Great Hall already," he thought. He wanted to talk to her more. He didn't want to see her get hurt. After asking one of his fellow sixth year girls, he decided to stay in the common room and wait for Bellatrix to come down. He didn't care if it took all day, as long as he got to talk to her.
Bellatrix didn't sleep well at all. She had to get rid of these feelings she had. She got up from her bed and went to her dresser where she kept a razor. She looked at it and then at her wrists. They were all scarred from being slit so much. She didn't want to feel alone anymore. "If I end my pathetic life, I won't have to worry about anyone to love," Bellatrix whispered. She began to cry softly to herself and sat back on her bed. "My tortured soul is in no condition for love. It can only take more pain," she thought. Bellatrix took the razor and slit her wrist. It hurt terribly. She muffled her sobs into her pillow and drifted into an uneasy sleep.
The next morning, Bellatrix woke up to her wrist throbbing in pain. She didn't want to look at it, so she wrapped it in cloth. The room was empty. Bellatrix went to the mirror and looked at her reflection. She had dark circles under her eyes. She began to wash her face softly. She wanted Severus to want her; to love her. She let out a sigh and got dressed. She would go to breakfast and come back to her room. She headed down to the common room and Severus was sitting in an armchair. He stood up quickly as she descended the stairs.
-Severus: "Bella, good morning."
-Bella: (blushing slightly) "Good morning Sev, sleep well?"
-Severus: "Yeah, it was alright. How about yourself?"
-Bella: "It was okay."
They stood in silence. Then,
-Severus: "Do you want to go get some breakfast?"
-Bella: (beaming) "Oh, I'd love to!"
Bellatrix couldn't believe this was happening! She was going to be eating breakfast with Severus! Her heart felt like a million butterflies! So did her stomach, but she didn't care at that moment. She was eating breakfast with Severus! They headed to the Great Hall and were very silent with each other. Bellatrix decided to not say anything until Severus asked her a question. She didn't want to make a complete idiot of herself by stammering on sentences! They sat down together and Bellatrix looked over at Lily's table. She was deep in conversation and didn't see them walk in together. "I WON, I ACTUALLY WON," she thought with a smile. She sighed and looked at Severus. He was looking down, but at her wrist. "OH NO," she thought. The cloth that covered her wrist had slipped off and now exposed her red and raw wrist. She quickly covered it back with a sheer sense of embarrassment. She couldn't believe he saw it. She put her head down, tears flowing down her face…
-x-
Lily began conversing with her friends. She really hoped to see Severus that day. Lily looked up finally and saw that Severus was finally at the table. He was talking with Bellatrix and didn't seem to notice her at all. By the end of breakfast, Severus didn't look up once. She sighed and stood up. She also saw that Severus was standing too. They caught each others eye and held gazes. Lily looked down and blushed. "He finally saw me," she thought. She looked up again and saw that he was still watching her. Lily had to do something. She knew of this room. She had to take him there. Lily told him with her eyes to follow her. Since Gryffindor and Slytherin houses were enemies, they had to do it secretly, but Lily didn't care, she just wanted to talk to Severus.
The only thing holding Lily back from meeting Severus was James. He was now rushing toward her. Lily looked back at Severus but he was now walking away with Bellatrix. Now she would never get her chance. She would have to risk finding him later. For now, she walked along side James.
-James: "Alright Evans."
-Lily: "Hey James, don't you have Quidditch practice?"
-James: "Yeah, I have to go in a minute; I just wanted to see you."
-Lily: (blushing) "Oh well." She laughs nervously.
-James: "Well, see you later Evans."
-Lily: "Okay."
Lily was relived to see James go. She needed to go to the Room of Requirements and she needed Severus to come there too. But how could she get Severus there?
Severus finally knew why Bellatrix was acting this way. She was hurting herself. The cuts looked recent. Severus looked up to see if Lily was looking his way, but she wasn't. He sighed and questioned her:
-Severus: "Bella, can you tell me what's wrong?"
-Bella: "Nothing Severus. It's nothing."
-Severus: "Don't tell me its nothing. You're my friend, you can tell me anything."
-Bella: (thinking) "No I can't." (Aloud) "My cat died. I loved her Severus and she died a few days ago."
Severus knew this was a lie, but he didn't press her anymore. She obviously didn't want to talk to him about her situation. He still couldn't shake that dream he had about her. "I wonder if she is capable of really doing this," Severus thought. He continued to talk to her throughout breakfast until it was time to depart. As he stood, he caught Lily's eye. It was as if she was telling him to follow her with them. As he started moving her way, Bellatrix grabbed his arm and pulled him away. "What is this about," sighed Severus as he walked away. Did he actually want to see Lily? Why was Bellatrix pulling him? And where was she taking him?
Bellatrix pulled her sleeve over her wrist. She didn't want him to know why she cut herself so much. She hated doing that to herself, but it was the only way to relieve her internal pain and suffering. How could she get Severus away to tell him how she felt? How would he react? She sighed again and began conversing with Severus. The end of breakfast was drawing near and she was very anxious for it to be over. She would bring him to a room she heard of. Bellatrix didn't know if it was true or not, but she wanted to find out. She decided that she would bring him there so that she could tell him her feelings.
Bellatrix stood and grabbed Severus' arm and she took him away from the Great Hall. "I must tell him, it's eating me up inside!" thought Bellatrix.
-Severus: (panting) "Where are you taking me Bella?!"
They stopped. Bellatrix had to take him to the Room of Requirements but Severus had to always ask questions.
-Bellatrix: "I want to show you something Sev."
-x-
Lily wanted to know where they were going, but why? She didn't have feelings for him, right? She headed the way she saw them walk. "Wow, they move fast," thought Lily to herself.
Okay, this is where I'm ending this chapter, because it was difficult to write. Until next time America. R & R :)
