The Three Stupid Musketeers
Narrator 1: OMG this is our first fanfic im soooo freakin excited! yayyyy!
Narrator 2: ...I like chicken.
Narrator 1: Er...anywayz...this is just gonna be our humorous fanfic with mainly Roy, Marth, and Link! This is based our experiences playing the game. So, are you ready?
Narrator 2: Marth's personality and actions are based on the way i play as marth, and roy is based on how narrator 1 plays as him on the game, and link...is just there...ya... \
Narrator 1: yeah, I suck at the game, soooo...there! I said it! (cries and wails)
Narrator 2: Muhahahahahha! my plan to shame you has worked! muhahahahahacough cough and i rock at the game )
Piggy: Lets just get with the fanfic! Cluck cluck
Unison (Narrator 1 and 2): What the heck? Piggy's go moo!
Piggy: YAHHHH!
...(sounds of crashes and Piggy screaming)
It was a very hot day. Ya, I am sweating right now like Piggy. Ewwwwww, no I am not! Anyways, it was a hot day, and the atmosphere was very intense as the Super Smash Bros. Melee stars gathered together for a 64 match tournament. Because of our greatness...er...Narrator 2's brother's greatness all of the unlockable characters were there as well and ready to play.
The Master Hand (you know, that gigantic annoying white gloved hand that swats at you and stuff and never seems to get his glove dirty) was randomly putting the characters together for the tournament. Little did he know, he...wait...is it a he or a she? I'm so confused! Aughhh! cough cough yeah, anyways it didnt know, it was making a huge mistake!
"First up, Jigglypuff vs. Ganandorf! (Muhahahha, I am so evil, making a puff ball go against a hulk like him muhahahaha)" boomed the Master Hand. "The match shall take place at...wait for it...wait for it..."
2 hours later...
"Wait for it...I got it! The level that is flat and purple and stuff...(Narrator 1: isn't that Final Destination?) Shut it! I mean the level that is flat and purple and stuff! Harrumph!...3...2...1...GO!"
Instantly, Jigglypuff dashes toward Ganandorf, hoping to take him by suprise. It brings its tiny hand back, momentarily powering it up for a slap attack, and unleashes the attack with power impressive for such a puff ball, but...POW! "JIGGILY!" poor Jigglypuff cries as Ganandorf simply taps it with his knuckles. (The audience is silent in confusion, wondering where the puff ball went, when it came crashing down on them!)
(We all know how this is gonna end...so lets just skip to the end of this match!)
"The winner is...Jigglypuff!" Bet you weren't expecting that huh? We're the authors/narrators/things! We can make it happen! On a side note, Jigglypuff won 18 to 1.
"Next up...Zelda vs. Bowser! Place your bets everyone(I bet they are all on Zelda after what happened in the last match)...3...2...1...GO!"
"WAIT THE LEVEL?WHAT'S THE LEVEL!" A random person shouts. "Aughhhh!" (His head explodes while the audience gets splattered with his guts...but no brain...he never had one...yes sniff sniff and they shall never find out what the level was...poor little random person.)
"Ummmmm...I seriously wasn't expecting that...umm...well...ya, on with the tounament! Wait! The level will be the battlefield again...ya..."
Narrator 2: Wait...the last match was on Final Destination!
"That is what I meant! Shut it!"
Zelda, knowing that speed is key in this match, quickly transforms into Sheik. Bowser simply growls and lunges at her, tackling her and halting her transformation. Furious, Zelda grabs Bowser(as best as she can) using her magic and hurls him(as best as she can) about...2 centimeters. Bowser is not bothered in anyway; rather he does not even notice it. Grabbing her, he easily chucks her across the arena and over the edge.
(Narrator 1: Hold it! We all know Zelda's gonna win so lets get on with it will ya? I'm starting to run out of voice because I'm snoring so loud! And that didn't even make any sense! All well. Don't flame me! Please! cries in desperation)
Narrator 2:...actually, it says here that Bowser wins.
"Well...that was a quick match! Bowser wins 2 to 1. Sorry fellas, you lost your bets!" Master Hand bellows (yeah, Master hand was speaking through all this, srry we're crappy writers).
Narrator 1: Er...yeah I knew Bowser would defeat Zelda. She sucks anyways. (Suddenly Zelda jumps on Narrator 1 randomly and starts attacking it.) Aughhhh! Get this pointy eared person off of me!
Narrator 2: ...stupid.
"Next is Roy vs. Marth. Everybody cheer cuz the story is finally gonna start! yay..." Master Hand cried while jumping up and down...don't ask me how this glove can jump...but it just did all right! So yeah.
"Haha...this is gonna be simple! Marth is weak! So what if he's fast? I'm stronger! Yey me!" Roy squealed and embraced his sword as he skips...er..i mean marches triumphantly into the level which is...um...Fountain of Dreams! (Narrator 2: Which is Narrator 1's only favorite level. Not to mention the nice music playing!)
Marth walks in silently, his aqua hair glimmering in the faint light and his sword long and...cool like. He quietly looks Roy up and down, making no comment on Roy's squeals and skipping.
With Roy's fiery red hair glowing in the stage light as well, except more better looking, the obnoxious teen takes his fighting stance, which is sleep silently until Master Hand said "...GO!"
Roy starts with suprise, and manages to roll out of the way as Marth's slender sword slashed at him. He tried to pull out his sword, but pulled it out so quickly, it slipped out of his grasp and hit Marth in the face.
"Aaaahhhh, you idiot, don't you know how to handle your sword?" Marth yells, clutching a bloody nose, and secretly hoping his tiara thingy was not damaged.
Not even noticing Roy causually laughs in victory. "Now you shall-wait, what happened to my sword!" He cried in panic as he looked for his sword as fast as he could while Marth was attempting to recover. He looks up at the sparkling sky. "Nope, not there." He said. Marth grabs Roy's sword and hurls it at him. The flash of the light on the blade catches Roy's eye, and he look over at the sword speeding point first at him. "Hey, there it is-Aaaaahhhhhh!" Roy is sent flying as his sword crashed into him, causing massive damage.
Roy, however, somehow gets a hold on the sword and the ledge of the level. Quickly, he pulled himself up and-
"Aahhhhhh! Brain-freeze!" Roy screams as right when Marth is about to strike his biggest and strongest attack but is stopped as Roy goes madly insane.
"Er..."Marth commented as Roy was screaming at the top of his lungs. He stands still, sword still upraised and brimming wtih power, wondering how anyone could get a brain-freeze. He stood still for as long as he could. He wanted a fair fight, and this...this...this was just... just... insanity! Suddenly as fast as it came, Roy sent himself tumbling off the stage, leaving the whole audience with blank faces...and stuff.
2 seconds later.
MARTH MARTH MARTH MARTH MARTH! HE'S OUR HERO! YEY MARTH! YEY! HE SENT SHOCKWAVES OF BRAIN FREEZES TO THE IDIOT BOY'S HEAD MAKING HIM SUICIDE! WHAT A BRAVE GUY! HE'S AWESOME! HE HAS SPECIAL...BRAINFREEZ POWERS! YEY! GO MARTH!
Marth...was...well dumbfounded, as much as Narrator 2 at the stupidity of this story so far. I mean come on, a random person's head blew up for no apparent reason, and Roy gets a brain-freeze! Wait...where was Narrator 1?
We find Narrator 1 in a underground shrine with Roy's pic on the wall, black candles lit everywhere, and a plastic tomb right below Roy's hot picture. Don't ask us how there was an underground shrine or whatever that was down there! We just know cool stuff...ahem...so what now? HUH? HUH?
Narrator 1: WHY ROY WHY! WHY DID YOU GET THAT RANDOM BRAINFREEZE! WHYYYY! (we censor out the rest of her rants)
AUGH MOTHER-(CENSOR! CENSOR! WHERE IS THE CENSOR!)
Narrator 2:...I have not comment whatsoever on what we all just witnessed... \
Meanwhile back at the stage...
"Roy has only 1 life left, and Marth 10! Can Roy stick it out and come out on-ooooo, that had to hurt..." (Roy comes crashing into the screen) "Well, that ends that match! Marth wins!" The Master Hand annouces. It turns and continues to randomly set up matches.
Meanwhile, at the Super Smash Bros. Hospital set up by Dr. Mario himself...
"Oh he is in good shape, I have seen worse!" Dr. Mario says reassuringly to no one in particular, just talking to himsef to make him feel like a real doctor. Roy on the other hand was stuck in a full body cast, suffering from a broken rib, leg, arm, black-eye, major brain-freeze(?) nurmerous cuts, and some blood loss.
Narrator 1: Seen worse! Why I oughta...
(censored)
Narrator 2: sigh...
A few days later...
"So, let me get this straight. Falco was shot in the foot by Samus, and you gave him CPR?" asks Zelda as she walks in with Dr. Mario, wondering if he was a certified doctor.
"I sure did! You know, it actually worked like a charm!" Exclaimed Dr. Mario, quickly drawing the curtains close around Falco's bed. "You know Fox, who was also shot by Samus in the head? All I had to do was give him a nice massage and he was battle worthy within minutes!" He also quickly draws the curtains close around Fox's bed too.
"Ummmm...well how is that one red-haried boy doing? I heard he was new." Zelda looks anxiously at Roy, who has been unconscious since his batt-...er encounter with Marth.
"He is doing fine!" Dr. Mario said, hoping to get rid of Zelda soon before she got too inquisitive.
"No he is not, you idiot," Zelda said. Walking to Roy's bedside, she muttered a few words, and there were popping noises inside Roy's body cast as his bones quickly mended together again by Zelda's magic. She muttered a few more words, and the cast broke apart and fell off.
He was healed. Just then, Dr. Mario walks by Zelda and gave a her a goofy idiotic grin. "See? I told you he was alright!" Zelda merely just walked away rolling her eyes as she slammed the hospital door shut.
Narrator 1: Huh, I always knew Dr. Mario was an...(flashback of Zelda attack!) a great doctor! Good job! Keep up the good work. (Mumbles in anger.)
CENSOR TIME!
Narrator 2:...That was some colorful language there!
Roy woke up a few hours later, his eyes groggy, and his stomach...uh oh...
He was hungry. You know what that mea-
SNORRRRREEEEEE
What the-
Narrator 2: I think he fell asleep.
Narrator 1: Again! He just woke up.
Narrator 2: You bored him to sleep! You idiot!
Narrator 1: (Wails and hides under a couch that randomly pops up)
Meanwhile...
The tournament was back on the next day after everyone was healed of their wounds scrapes scraps and boo-boos. The remainder people who made it into the semi-finals which included of course our psychic brainfreezer Marth vs. Luigi-
Marth: What?
Narrator 2: Quiet you!
Marth: grumble grumble.
Back to the story, Marth vs. Luigi, Ness vs. Iceclimbers and our masterful swordsman Link vs. Young Link!
Who will be the champion? Who will meet who? When will Roy stop snoring!And how come this is called the Three Stupid Musketeers! When will the questions end!
Narrator 2: Right now, I have to go home.
Narrator 1: What! Aw you suck. Fine then, I'll finish up.
Narrator 2: But we're done with this chapter.
Narrator 1: (BIG CENSOR)
Narrators: Alrighty then, we hope you liked this chapter! Keep on looking for updates because we shall be updating on this story soon because we are not done yet! Not even a quarter of the way. Erm...yeah, well have fun hoping on what's gonna happen next!