Glad I Crashed The Wedding
On the day of Rukia and Ichigo's wedding, both Byakuya and Renji called in sick. Now, Rukia was pretty sure she knew what Renji would be doing. Sitting around with a carton of cookie dough ice cream, feeling nostalgic. But her adoptive brother was her closest family member, and she had been certain he would be the first one there.
Rukia wasn't allowed to enter her brother's quarters with out his consent, so she decided a visit to Renji would calm her nerves. She knocked on the door hesitantly, and opened the door slowly at the muffled, "Come in." there was Renji, with his ice cream, watching a sappy movie on the rundown T.V. he had bought in Rukongai for 200 Yen.
"Renji, thank you. I know you wish that you could be there for me today," Okay, she threw in that one to make him feel guilty, because she knew he was skipping out on purpose, "But you've been my best friend for all of my life, and, well, thanks." Rukia started to give him a big hug, but leaped back when he jokingly lifted an ice cream coated spoon, ready to fling the gooey mess on her wedding kimono.
"Sap." He laughed at her. "God, Rukia, I never thought of you as the sappy windbag type." He snorted, scooting out of the way as she threw a bar of soap at him. (Hey, you'll never know what you'll find in the pit that is Renji's room.) "Well, good luck."
"Bye, Renji. Enjoy your ice cream." Rukia barely managed to avoid getting hit in the face with a glob of sticky cookie dough goodness. Renji chuckled as her footsteps faded.
"CLEAR!" Renji shouted. Byakuya shunpoed through the door, while Rangiku Matsumoto crawled in through the window, dragging a bedraggled Hanataro with her.
"The people in Rukongai probably heard that, you idiot!" Byakuya hissed. "What happened to that little thing called 'being inconspicuous'?"
"Ya have to admit my acting was good enough to fool her into thinking I was sick-"
"You idiot, she didn't think you were sick, she thought you were nostalgic!"
"Boys! Boys! Now's not the time! Let's get started!" Rangiku said, pulling a clump of gray hair and a make-up kit out of her kimono. "Now Hanataro, remember to execute your part of the plan right before Ichigo says-"
"Oh come on, your making it sound like a heist." Renji complained, yawning.
"This is your future were dealing with here!" Rangiku said, looking hurt. "This is much more important than a simple heist!" She paused. "What IS a heist, anyway?"
"No idea. It just sounded like the right thing to say."
"We'll forget about it for the moment. Hanataro, you know what to do," Hanataro nodded determinedly, "Captain Kuchiki…." She trailed off, intimidated by the oh-so-noble Captain, "You just do whatever floats your boat." She finished cheerfully. "Let's get this party started!" Rangiku exclaimed, and leapt at Renji, brandishing her over-sized make-up kit.
*******************************ELSEWHERE*****************************
Byakuya crept(nobley crept, of course) out of the room, off to go execute his part of the plan. First, he shunpoed to the First Division, where the wedding was being held. After making sure there was no one nearby, he strolled over to where the wedding props were being kept. The veil, the rings…
"Umm... sir, you're not allowed back here….." said an unfortunate guard. One glare was all it took. "I mean, stay as long as you like!" he recanted, laughing nervously. Byakuya swept by him with out a second glance.
Glancing around, he saw what he was looking for, and swept up both rings in one gloved hand. As he was leaving, he said to the guard, "You will speak of this to no one, understand?" The guard went completely white, and nodded.
Now, Byakuya had his own reasons for helping in this crazy scheme. It was quite a simple fact that Byakuya would rather face Retsu Unohana's wrath than allow that strawberry dunderhead to marry into the Kuchiki family. These random thoughts swirling around in his head, Byakuya did not notice as he bypassed the sixth division living quarters, zooming toward the seventh division and beyond. When he finally realized he was off track, he was somewhere around the tenth division, and with his luck, skidded (for want of a nobler word) to a stop right in front of the tenth division captain, Toshiro Hitsugaya.
"What in the world are you doing, Captain Kuchiki?" He inquired. Byakuya mentally face-palmed. Suddenly, inspiration hit him. He (nobley, of course) shoved the rings into the young captain's hands.
"Captain Hitsugaya, take care of these. Tell no one of this. Your lieutenant will fill you in on everything soon enough." He paused. "Do not show these rings to any one. Understand?" The icy captain gave him a look that clearly said otherwise. "You will." With that, Byakuya shunpo/strutted (very nobley, of course) away. Then, he bumped into the guard he had met earlier. The guy nearly pissed himself.(Hey, Byakuya has that kind of effect on people.) "Out of my way." He said menacingly.
"Y-yes, Captain Kuchiki, sir!" When out of sight of the poor guy, Byakuya smirked. Sometimes, being him simply kicked ass.
*******************************ELSEWHERE*****************************
Hanataro had the easiest, yet most significant job in the entire operation. And to say he was simply nervous was to say that Ikkaku was just a little thin on top, or that Aizen was just cranky. Truth was, he was scared out of his wits. Quickly, he took his seat. The ceremony was about to start. He watched with partial interest as the bearded priest shuffled toward the alter, knowing that it was Renji, not the bonified priest that Ichigo had ordered off EBay for 2000 Yen an hour. He was already starting to sweat, waiting for Renji's cue ahead of schedule.
*******************************ELSEWHERE*****************************
Other than a little spat over the missing rings, the wedding went by with out a hitch. That is, until Renji/Preacher said, "And do you take this women to be your lawfully wedded wife?" That was Hanataro's cue. He gave a loud gasp and fell into the aisle, apparently choking. Chaos ensued. In one fluid motion, Renji whipped of his Preacher Wig/Beard, grabbed Rukia, and kissed her.
"Rukia…….I love you."
Rukia's Facial expression was a cross between amazement and confusion.
"But….. but I always thought you were gay!" Suddenly, there was a loud crash. Rukia and Renji turned around. Ichigo had fainted.
"Why waste a good ring?" came a nervous voice from the crowd. Everyone looked up. It was Hitsugaya Toshiro. He got down on one knee, facing the girl beside him with the rings Byakuya had given to him.
"Will you marry me?"
******************************** LATER*********************************
"I can't believe you thought I was gay." Those were the first words out of Renji's mouth when they got outside.
"Well, you never made a move, and we've been friends for hundreds of years, so I assumed….."Rukia didn't need to finish.
"You 'assumed' wrong." Renji grumbled. But, in reality, he really didn't have much to complain about. Rukia was now his(well, and Byakuya's, who was following a few yards away).
Once he got home, planning to relax, the phone rang.
"Umm...Renji? You did a really good job on Rukia's wedding, so I was wondering if you could preach at Shiro-chan and mine's wedding, too?
A voice could be heard in the background.
"That's Hitsugaya-tachiou!"