Sometimes, Ianto wondered what it would be like to be a father.
When he was younger, he had always assumed that it would happen someday; he'd get all his rebellion out of his system, and then he'd get a nice office job and settle down with a nice girl and have a couple of children. He wasn't particularly happy about the idea, but it was just what people did.
For a while, it had seemed like he really was on that path; he had the nice office job (even if it wasn't quite what he'd pictured), and he had Lisa, who left 'nice girl' in the dust. They'd never really talked about, because they were still in their early twenties, but they would joke about sometimes, and Ianto saw the way Lisa lit up when she was around her little niece. It just seemed to be where they were headed.
He'd given up on the idea after Lisa died, after that awful night when Lisa's humanity lost the fight. He'd decided then that this world was too ugly, too brutal. He convinced himself that he wouldn't be able to fall in love with anyone else.
He'd been wrong about falling in love, but any idea of a normal life was long gone. He loved his job, and he loved Jack more than he had loved anyone or anything in his life before, and he knew it wasn't an option, issues of biology aside. Still, as he watched Jack cradle that little boy's head and pour his life back into him, watched the boy cough and splutter and open his eyes, Ianto wanted. Jack was so gentle, so careful, his eyes filled with fragile hope. Ianto pictured him holding a younger child, cradling a baby to his chest and humming it to sleep. It could never happen, of course, but for the first time in a long time, Ianto wondered what it would be like to be a father.