Title:
A Heaven Made by Hands of Man
Author:
Neev
Fandom:
Gundam Wing
Pairing:
13x6
Warnings:
Spoilers for the end. Nothing else really.
This is it. This the final battle. The one that will end it all - all the wars, all the suffering, all the needless deaths. I believe this is the Apocalypse told of in the Bible. This the end of the world as we know it; the last, greatest, and most horrible war. And yet, when this is all over, life will go on. There will be peace, and with peace there will come an end to the dark times in which we live. Humans are sinful things - greedy and self-centered. We can rise above that, but it is hard, so very hard. Even I, I who have always tried to work for the betterment of humanity, cannot be free of such vices. Even now, part of what I do here is born of my own selfish desire. Still, I press on, hoping that my cause is just. I do believe that it is just, even if it is tinged by selfish desires. After all, I too am only human. I have come to accept that, finally.
Humanity is not meant for the shining paradise of God's Heaven. We have...grown up. Grown away. It is in the nature of all things to break away from that which made them. History has shown that to be so. Humanity now needs something other than God.
We will create our own Heaven. We will cleanse it with our blood and our tears. It will be a thing not of God, but of Humanity. Something real, something that is wholly our own.
This is what I have always worked for. This Human Heaven is my ultimate goal. And yet, as I approach this final battle, I am afraid. I will die today. I am not afraid of death itself, for I am a soldier and my own death does not frighten me. Rather, what I fear is the thought that my own death will not bring about what I have worked so hard for. Would I then become a ghost, doomed to wander in the ashes and rubble of my perfect Heaven? Knowing always that the darkness won? Part of me feels that there is still work left undone, thing left unsaid. Part of me cries out against my death. I am young still! I could do so much more for Humanity and myself! And part of me cannot bear the thought of leaving everything to the hands of others. What if I am wrong, and they cannot bear the burden? Shouldn't I be there to take up that burden?
But such selfish thoughts and self-doubt will bring me to ruin anyway. No, I know that today in this battle is my time and place to die. Though I am afraid, I welcome my death. I am a soldier. This is my war. I will fight my war, unflinching and unafraid, for I know that it will bring about something so much greater than myself.
---
I feel...pain. Extraordinary pain. My body is crushed. There is blood and pain. And yet, the pain soon fades to the back of my mind. I can still feel the blood though...the slow, distant throbbing as it seeps away from me.
There. I have given my blood. All of it. All for the Heaven that we will create. I cannot summon tears but it does not matter. I have cried for the lost souls of the soldiers before. Those solider gave their blood and others have given their tears and...it will be enough. I know it. All the fears are gone now. In this last moment, I all I know is bitter sweet happiness.
"Wufei, that was beautiful."
I realize now how we will truly make this Heaven. Blood and tears will cleanse our hearts, letting us see our dark corners, our hidden evils. And so seeing, we will bring them to the light and find peace within ourselves. From there, true peace amongst all people will follow.
I close my eyes. I am at peace. I only hope those I leave behind will see the same thing and find their own peace. Zechs...no, Milliardo, most of all. Poor abused child of peace and war. He suffers the most of all those that I love. He does not have a foundation, a place to start from. He must find his own way and will not accept any help. I know he will find it someday and then we will be able to watch over the Heaven we created together. Friends, lovers, and enemies at different times, but never apart. Not really.
"Milliardo. I'll be waiting on the other side."