Note from the author: For those who don't know who JC Webster the Third is, google him or
youtube 's very very funny.
One day Eric Cartman and Kyle had been cheesing, which led them into an alternate
dimension. They had been sent to a realm where Mt. Everest was ruled by Satan's daughter,
a female sasquatch named Courtney. They had not yet begun to climb the mountain, as Kyle
was skeptical of Cartman's claims.
"Come on Kyle, we gotta climb the mountain, this'll be good practice for the Coon!"
said Cartman. Kyle groaned.
"Oh please, Cartman. Everyone knows that Sasquatch is a boy, and that superheroes and
the devil don't really exist" said Kyle.
"Exactly, the devil doesn't exist, and that's the greatest trick he ever pulled! Ever seen that movie, The Usual Suspects?" asked Cartman.
"Huh?" asked Eric.
"It had Kevin Spacey in it you son of a bitch" said Cartman.
"I have no idea what you're talking about Cartman, but I do know that we shouldn't
have been cheesing" said Kyle.
"Well, what matters now is what's at stake Eric. We're in a metaphysical world where
we have to climb Mt. Everest, save the original version of Dr. Pepper and restore peace to
the universe" said Cartman. "Um, ok!" said Kyle. So Cartman got out his "Coon" climbing gear, and he and Kyle
began to trek up the mountain. Then Cartman realized he had forgotten something important. "We need God's ten star general to encourage us on our mission by reminding us what
lousy human beings we are. In order to beat Satan we have to know that God hates us" said
Cartman. Cartman pulled out his phone and began texting JC Webster, the greatest
fundamentalist preacher in the known universe.
"Yes? Hello? This is JC Webster the third God's ten star general in the war against
media pornography! And I'm here to tell ya I can't believe they ever let you and Kyle on
the air. Comedy Central should be BANNED!" yelled JC.
"JC, we need your encouragement to get to the top of Mt. Everest!" said Cartman. "Is that so? Well you flea bitten mongrels had better hurry if ya wanna defeat the
devil, but lemme just remind you two what disgustipating fags you are!" said JC. Just then
Kyle shouted for help too loudly, and an avalanche fell, knocking both Kyle and Cartman to
the ground. Cartman got up, brushing snow off of his pants, and told Kyle what happened. "You yelled too loud Kyle, and we fell off the mountain. Oh, and JC says we're fags!"
said Cartman. "Cool!" said Kyle, who didn't seem to be his normal self. He began putting on a Red
Panda costume. "Meet the coon's new sidekick" said Kyle, in a deeper melodramatic voice.
To be continued...