Ruby Tucker is a fashion expert.
Well, she is a fashion student, but in her mind the fact that she was good enough to be accepted into the fashion program at Colorado University gives her the right to claim the word expert.
As Ruby thinks about the excuse she just made in her head, her Tucker side comes out. She thinks, 'Fuck you, mind, I can be an expert in whatever the hell I want, no bullshit University needed.'
Ruby Tucker is an expert in many things.
She can French braid her own hair, whistle the Gilligan's Island theme song, and give her friends French manicures like those Asians at the salons can.
She's an expert advice giver, note taker, coffee maker, soccer player…
Ruby feels qualified to say she is an expert in life.
Which is why she completely understands why her brother, Craig Tucker, came to her for help.
"I can see why you came to me for your fashion advice," Ruby says as she rummages through her big brother's closet.
"I did not come to you for help. You just came to drop off your share of the phone bill and asked what I was doing." Craig sits at his desk in his room, flipping through Plato's Republic.
"You have to make a good impression."
"I think this is just an excuse to dress me up."
"Craig," Ruby walks over and holds up a button up collared shirt in front of her brother's chest, "you want people to take you seriously, right?" Ruby pulls out his only pair of khakis that still fit him, "you want them to know you are a serious buyer!"
"This town is a shit hole, they don't care as long as you have the money, Ruby."
"Well, being the best looking piece of shit still says something." Ruby pulls the tail of her brother's shirt, implying she's found an outfit that must scream 'Professional.' "And not to mention, you don't have the money."
"Which is why I have Kenny."
"I'm sure Kenny will look good."
"I'm sure he will."
"You know, I'm sure Kenny is begging Karen to help him look nice and professional. Kenny knows how to get what he wants in this shit town, you know? And again, Kenny doesn't have money either." Ruby thinks about calling Karen and asking her if she knew anything about their brothers house hunting together.
"Kenny knows how to get what he wants anywhere with anyone." Craig complies with the outfit. "Which is why I let him do the talking."
"Well did you tell him what you want?"
"I want to get out of my shitty one bedroom apartment."
Ruby looks around at her brother's studio apartment. She cannot disagree that his apartment is pretty shitty. The only window he has doesn't open and is halfway underground.
Ruby still can't believe Craig agreed to move in with Kenny. The two are steady friends, but Ruby figured Tweek or Clyde would be his first choice. Logically, it should have been Token, but Token was far away, somewhere near the capitol.
"I still can't believe you are house hunting with Kenny McCormick."
"Don't put it that way Ruby, you're making it sound…"
"Gay?"
"Invested, at least. Either way, it's stupid that you think I have to look nice to get a good house."
"Listen Craig, I'm an expert at these kind of things, in clothing 202 we learned that—"
"Just because you're in school doesn't make you an expert."
"Fuck you Craig."
"Don't be upset, Ruby, its always good to stay positive. Look where your positivity got you in soccer, that job at Harbuck's Tweek got you, or those fake whistling lessons you paid Clyde for in the 7th grade, and your French braid is almost straight after practicing for over 7 years."
"You're a fucking dick, you know that?"
"You're the expert."
Okay. So. This was short, but I needed to get a start on it or else I'd lose it.
I'm not very good with Crenny, or Creek for that matter. I love the couples but I just can't write them well… but we'll see.
Kinda dumb, but I think about the future of this story and I just chuckle, so hopefully you guys will stick around and chuckle with me!