Believe when I say that I don't own the beloved characters. I was just in a creative mood and took them away for a little bit. But I will give them back to Beth Sullivan and CBS as soon I am finished.

Chapter 1

"You can't let it go, can you Sully?" she asked with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Everything what we have been through already, counts for nothing? You lied to me. You said you wanted to be with me. And now…you run away again!" she screamed at the man she loved with her whole heart.

Sully's throat was too dry. His mouth couldn't form any words. He just stared at the woman before him. His head told him to just close up his heart again. It was just too much. "I can't. I…" Sully mumbled, not knowing how to reply, searching for a way out. "I can't forget what happened…"

"You are not the only one having to deal with the past, Sully!"

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The silent fog crawled on the ground, creped across the sky and cloaked the countryside of Colorado Springs. The morning was damp, gloomy and a chill was in the air, leaving the streets with only little light left, draining away all colors. The city was empty. It was quiet. Too quiet. Complete silence until a van came driving down the main street, full speed.

Time was ticking away.

His heart was hurting him more and more as Byron Sully struggled with himself. The fog not only covered the city but also was blinding Sully with that painful grey as he was searching for answers, praying for a miracle. The tears that trickled down his face made it a even more difficult task seeing through the windshield of their new mini van. Fog was all around him. Finding the light within was fading away leaving Sully with a feeling of being jailed in a cell, searching for a way out.

Faster. Faster, was all Sully could think of. His hands were clutching around the steering wheel; turning his knuckles white. His fingers were tensed up but sweaty at the same time. Breathing became painful, his heart hurting with every beat. His chest heavy.

Panic. Fear. With each scream coming from the backseat, Sully pressed the gas pedal harder, trying to drown the screams with his own voice.

"Oh god, hang in there. Ya can do it. Please. Han' in there." Tears were streaming down his face, his eyes blurry. "We're almost there."

Heat, cold, wet, all were overtaking every inch of his being, taking him back to a different time when their world had been shattered into pieces for the first time. They had been through so much already in their short lives together but they had made it this far. Now, everything was crashing down once more.

Her screams brought him back to reality.

"Sullyyyy. It hurts. It hurts so much." His fiancée didn't know what was happening. She was not supposed to come yet. Her daughter was not due for another two months but deep down she knew something was terrible wrong.

"I love you, Sully."

Sully tightened his hands around the wheel again. "Don't ya talk like that. Ya gonna make it. Just hold on." Sully screamed at her. In that moment, their fights, the tears and the mutual recriminations were forgotten. Nothing else mattered now then to bring his fiancée and unborn baby girl to the hospital.

Desperately, she screamed. The pain was unbearable and with the last strength, she screamed his name again, feeling the wetness from blood between her legs. She knew. She wanted to tell him so much but she couldn't. Her secrets would never come to the surface and reach him. He would never know.

"Sullyyy," and her head sank down to the side on her chest. "I love you," she whispered a last time. The beating of her heart stopped, the blood running through her veins slowed. Life was sucked out of her body as the coldness settled in. She was gone.

Silence. Silence.

"Noooo. Oh god, talk to me. Please!! Don't leave me," Sully screamed and turned his head again and again to the woman he loved, blank horror written on his face as he saw the blood soaking into the seat, dripping to the floor. "God no!!! Please. I'm here!!!!! Take my hand. Ya gonna make it!!!! Please!!!!" Paralyzed with fear, his face turned white. Sully was terrified. She didn't move at all. With one hand he let go of the steering wheel and shook her arm. She can't be dead.

"Noo!!! Come on baby, don't do this to me." His tears wouldn't stop falling down his cheeks, wetting his shirt, the soft material clinging to his chest.

"Abbyyy!!!" Sully yelled a last time, before he turned his head back towards the road.

"Nooooo!!!!" he screamed and hit the break pedal the same time. But it was too late. He passed the green light and headed straight on to the intersection. The breaks gave off clouds of smoke. Nothing could be done anymore. His back pressed hard against the seat, his arms were stretched out while his hands clung to the steering wheel, his palms bleeding from the pressure of his nails dug in the skin. He clenched his teeth. Sweat was mixed with his tears across his face, stinging in his eyes as he saw the car getting closer and closer. Powerless, Sully was unable to prevent the crash from happening. His screams faded away. The pain shot through his body as a lightning would do, no inch of his being was spared of the immense electricity ran through his veins, leaving him unable to move.

His world was spinning. He could taste the sweet blood in his mouth, almost chocking on it, coughing hard to get rid of the taste. But it wouldn't stop. His chest burned from the heat and the pressure atop as it would be ripping apart any second. He tried to breathe, tried to control himself in this deathly situation but there was no chance. It was over. No sounds were heard and everything turned black.

Silence.

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The sun was shining brightly through the bedroom window, announcing another beautiful day over the Cheyenne mountains near Colorado Springs. It was the first morning after two months that Sully could wake up in his own bed again. For the last weeks, he had taken a job offer near Canon City, a town called Buckskin Joe, an hour south of Colorado Springs. Buckskin Joe was a town right out of the 1860's Colorado Frontier and since 1958, visitors from all around the world had discovered the authentic buildings and gunfights, given them a feeling of having stepped back in time.

At first, Sully had refused to take the job but had to realize fast, that this had been a great opportunity to do what he used to loved the most.

Once, every visitor had left the small town, Sully had the place all to himself. He had been working on the buildings, repairing them every afternoon until late at night, enjoying the peace and quiet. Working with his hands, doing constructive work, had always been a part of his life before he had met his girlfriend, Abigail Bray. She had convinced him, that taking such odd jobs won't be any sufficient to support a family if he really wanted to have one. For her love, Sully had agreed and had taken another job in town, close to home. But never had he been really happy about that and had lost part of his life, his spirit had never been the same again.

Although, Sully had felt the sadness in in his heart that this job was over, he looked forward to another season in guiding people in the Colorado Mountains. Today would be the first day again of getting everything ready for a two week trip. Even though he liked the job, being outdoors, showing people how to survive in the nature, living just from the earth, his heart was still heavy with pain.

Sully's chest rose as he inhaled deeply. His eyes fluttered open only to exhale again, letting his body sink back into the blankets. Crest of dawn carries rays of warmth through the window, the sun shining brightly on his face. He listened carefully. Listening to the birds singing the song of spring, chirping happily. For a split second, Sully enjoyed the comfortable silence, forgetting about his past, his pain, his sadness but most of all; his guilt. But the peace was gone immediately as Sully was waking up completely. For almost two years now, she has been his first thought when Sully would wake up each morning. She still remained in his heart. He couldn't get her out of his head, never being able to remove her face from his mind, nor could he delete the last minutes of their lives together from his memory.

Slowly, Sully turned his head away from the window as every morning, his eyes still closed. Taking several deep breaths, he finally managed to let his eyelids stay open. Sweat was on his face as he remembered the nightmare, the same over and over again for months haunting him every night. Why was it so hard to move on? Sully knew it had not been his true love but seeing how his fiancée and the child had died on the back of the seat, while he couldn't prevent the crash, he felt he was a complete failure. Besides everything that had happened, he still had loved her. It shouldn't be like this. It had been too long now to still feel this way, living with a bleeding heart.

Every day, Sully felt the same way inside. Guilt was a constant friend of everything he did. He had suffered much pain throughout his life, having changed along the way already but since that fateful day, he was living a lie. He kept who he truly was inside, no longer seeing his face in his own reflection anymore, too ashamed of what he had become. The light in his eyes had faded a long time ago and Sully had no reason to ever bring it back.

Still staring at the ceiling, Sully felt his anger rising. He had so much to look forward to over the next months but it scared him at the same time. He had moved out of the city after spending days, weeks in the hospital, wanting to be left alone. In the mountains he felt free, not being crowded with people around him he didn't want to see. His only companion was Wolf, a constant friend at his side who seemed to be the only one who understood his masters misery. Now, with the season starting, he would be around people again.

Sighing, Sully slowly sat up in bed, letting his bare feet touch the cold wooden floor, curling his toes, feeling every inch with his skin he had build on his own. Feeling the pain in his back, which he had since the accident, Sully opened the drawer of his nightstand and pulled out a small tube. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the lit open with his thumb but as soon the pills dropped into his palm the door cracked open.

His longtime friend wolf, an Alaskan malamute, peeked with his wet snout in his masters bedroom. Their eyes met and Sully nodded his head slightly to allow him to enter. Sully had to smile because it seemed a big grin was forming on the dogs face and no seconds later Wolf pushed the door open, wagged his tail excitedly and jump onto Sully's bed. Turning around in circles a few times, he finally happily lied down next to him. His front paws were lying over the edge of the bed and Wolf placed his head neatly on top of them, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, breathing deeply. He lied still but watched his masters every move, his eyes following Sully's as he turned his attention back to the pills, still lying in his palm. Wolf lifted his head again, feeling his master was not happy about what was in his hand and nudged at it with his wet snout, moving it further away from Sully.

"We had that before boy, I need to take'em," Sully sighed.

Still, Wolf was not convinced and put his plans into action. In a matter of seconds, he had lifted his body from the comfortable blankets, grabbed the little tube between his teeth and jump down from the bed, running towards the door but stopped before he left the room. Turning around again, he sat down by the entrance, the tube still in his mouth, as he innocently looked back at Sully, bending down his head slightly.

Sully knew the procedure as the back of his hand. Almost every morning wolf would do the same, steeling his pills, trying to prevent him from taking them. But this time, he had been prepared. Smiling back at his small friend, he noticed the surprised look on his face, his eyes growing smaller, not knowing what his master had in mind.

Sully opened the drawer again and grinned back at wolf. Pulling out another tube, he shook it and the pills swirled around.

"Too bad boy, ya got the wrong ones this morning'," Sully said and gulped down a few pills, swallowing them with water.

Wolf didn't understand the words but knew he had been tricked by the voice of his master. Disappointed, he growled and let the tube drop in the trashcan next to the door. Looking back a last time, Wolf turned around and strolled, head down, out of the room, frustrated.

Sully chuckled. He would have to find something to make it up to his friend again.

Wolf had lifted his spirit, only if it was for just a moment. Putting the pills back in his drawer, Sully's eyes caught something he wasn't prepared for. Lifting the piece of paper, he studied it. His anger was rising again, his heartbeat doubled its speed. Why was he even looking at it? There was no way, he would ever fulfill his dream. Why would he anyway? He would have no one to share it with.

Still looking at the drawing, he sighted, "it's useless." Crumpling up the paper, he threw it across the room, not caring what it hit. Feeling as he was being watched, Sully turned around. Wolf was standing outside by his window, staring at his big friend, skeptical.

"What?" Sully grinned.

But Wolf didn't give in that easily. Puffing first, he then moved the other way and lied down with his back to Sully, not daring to turn once again, his tail wagging slowly from one side to the other.

Sully rolled his eyes.

Finally, getting out of bed, he went for the bathroom. A shower was all he needed right now. Getting rid of his boxer shorts and letting it fall carelessly to the floor, he turned the knob to cold. Stepping into the shower, he gulped when the first drops of ice cold water hit his body, forming goose bumps across his skin. Breathing deeply, he slowly adjusted and began to wake up fully as drop after drop wetted his body. He had a long summer ahead and he needed all his strength to get through it. Alone.

Yet, another thought crossed his mind and again, Sully shuddered even more but this time, for excitement.

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A moment alone can be such a blessing in life, away from all others, far from distractions and not being fraught with urgent decisions.

Michaela Quinn inhaled deeply, embracing the aroma, that comforting scent as the warmth of the cup filled with hot coffee caressed her palms. Her fingers tapped on the cup, one after the other as Michaela's eyes followed the steam, rising only to vanish quickly once it left the comfort of the porcelain.

She sighed. She didn't know what to do. Her eyes roamed from the coffee to her cell phone lying next to the cup on the table. Should she call? It was her first time off in months but she had received a call not long ago to come back to the hospital. It would just take a couple of hours she hoped but maybe she would take this as an excuse to not go after all. Did she really want to spend that time with strangers? Well, partly strangers. It would give her a chance to see her sisters again. Marjorie and Rebecca had decided to join her on that little adventure when they had surprised their youngest sister with the gift.

To her honesty, she really had missed being outdoors for the last months. She had been so busy, she couldn't remember the last time she had just done something only for herself.

But as one of the emergency doctors in the general hospital in Boston, there was no time left for privacy. She missed breathing in the clean air of the little parks in Boston, bathing her feet in the lakes, feeling the sprinkles of cold water on her skin. She missed the hair flying all around her when she took her friends horses for rides. She felt the need to do activities like that again to regain the freedom she once had. Enjoying the peace and quiet after a regular workday in the smaller hospital, a little outside of town she had worked before they had offered her a job in the largest hospital in Boston. A few years ago, she would have never accepted this position but circumstances in her private life had lead her to consider it nonetheless. At the end, she had no choice and accepted their offer.

And her life had been even more complicated when she had to fly out to Denver about two months ago. This is exactly where she was sitting now. In a small apartment in Denver, deciding whether she should still go on the trip or not.

Sighing again, memories were coming flowing back through her mind she had wanted to put in the farthest corner of her mind but were haunting her day by day.

Closing her eyes, Michaela tried to control her emotions. It was so long ago but she could still feel his breath on her skin, sending shivers down her spine. In that moment, she hadn't recognized him anymore. It was like a different person had gained control over his body as Michaela remembered their last fight.

"How can you want to do that, Michaela? We had everything planned for our future. Now you want to throw everything away because of that?" he yelled at her, running up and down in the backyard of his apartment.

"Just listen to you. Did you honestly think, I would do nothing about it?" Michaela stated as calm as she could but her emotions were getting the better of her. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her hands were hurting from clenching fists. Her heart was racing now.

"What do you want me to do, Michaela? I am trying to safe our future. Don't you remember? We wanted to do it all together." He stopped in his tracks and walked over to Michaela, only inches from her face. "Don't expect from me to give it all up because of one time? I am not willing to pay for what you have started," he said, his voice full of anger, his eyes burning with tears.

Michaela felt dizzy, her world was spinning. How could she have been so wrong about one person? A man, she wanted to spent the rest of her life with? Her father had been right all along. His true character was out from beneath the surface. How could she have been so blind?

She panicked. What was she supposed to do now?

Her thoughts were interrupted from the ringing sound of her cell phone. Michaela tried to compose herself. A few tears were still rolling down her now rosy cheeks from the memory. Wiping them away with her morning sweater, she sobbed before taking her phone and looked with red eyes on the display.

She let out her breath she didn't know she was holding. She had to make a decision now.

Flipping the phone open, she answered, "I am still thinking, Rebecca. I…" but her sister wouldn't let her finish.

"Michaela? What's the matter? Are you alright? I can hear it in your voice that something is not right," Rebecca said on the other line.

"Don't back out now, Michaela. We are coming just because of you. We are about to enter the plane to Colorado and you should take your car and start driving," Marjorie added not being able to hold it any longer.

"I am sorry, Michaela. I forgot to mention Marjorie is on the other line as well," Rebecca chuckled.

Michaela sighed. She was lost. She wanted to leave everything behind once to just enjoy the time with her sisters, who were willing to go camping with her even though they had never done that before. She knew it took a lot out of them to really go but they did it for her. Only her.

Finally, Michaela answered. "I've been called back to the hospital. It won't take long but I won't be able to pick you up from the airport. I don't know what to do. I want to go but…""No buts, Michaela. Will you be able to still make it tonight?" Marjorie immediately replied. "You need to get away for a while. And you never know, who might be coming along. You didn't have a date since…"

"Marjorie, please. Don't start that again. You know I don't have time for that right now. I am far too busy as you can see." Michaela explained, knowing exactly where this would be leading. "I will make it tonight if I leave straight from the hospital. But,…"

"Your sister is right, Michaela," Rebecca reasoned, "You need to have some fun once in a while. We both were looking forward to spent some time with you."

"For god sakes, Michaela. We are going camping! We will be sitting on horses and sleep under the sky! Rebecca and I. That will be fun to watch already," Marjorie laughed and her sisters joined her soon.

Michaela couldn't help it and pictured her sisters, especially Marjorie, on horses, riding like cowgirls and maybe even chewing on tobacco.

She still chuckled when she spoke again, "alright, I will come." Michaela could hear shrieks from both of her sisters on the lines and couldn't stop laughing. "I guess it will be an adventure of a lifetime, seeing you girls on horses again It has been ages. See you both tonight at the Ranch! I love you and …thank you!"

"We love you, too, and maybe there will be a handsome cowboy waiting for you. Bye!" and Marjorie hang up the phone.

"Michaela? Are you still there?"

"Yes I am, Rebecca," Michaela chuckled.

"You know your sister. She just wants the best for you. We all are!"

"I know."

"Is everything alright? You sounded sad when you picked up the phone," Rebecca asked, still feeling the little knot tighten in her stomach. "Memories again?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Rebecca. I need to get ready when I want to be there on time tonight. See you later and have a safe flight." Michaela hoped her sister would drop the topic now. She heard Rebecca sighed on the other line and knew she would not mention it again.

"Alright, drive carefully. We will take a cap. Might be quite expensive but this will be the only holiday we have this year," Rebecca said.

"I will. I love you. Bye."

"I love you, too. Bye," and Michaela heard the long beep and closed her phone.

Staring back her coffee, she realized it was cold now. Sighing, she pushed back her chair, rose from the table and put the cup into the sink. Turning around, she pressed her back against the counter. She was really going on a vacation. Tonight she would be sleeping beneath the stars, by a warm campfire with her sisters. This brought a smile back to her face. Marjorie and Rebecca were right. She couldn't live a life without any passion besides being a doctor. She was a doctor through and through and she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world but something was still missing.

Since that incident about two years ago she had fought an inner battle. Once everything had felt so good and she used to have a nice place to call home but it only had brought her pain and sadness. She had hit the rock bottom, hit it as hard as possible and had fallen apart. They all had tried to help but she wouldn't let them. She was surrounded by a wall and let no one in. She had wanted to leave Boston but couldn't have managed to leave her father but for weeks now, she was working in Denver. Michaela had taken a temporary position in the hospital and to her realization, she liked the smaller city better then her home. But the job would be over soon and she would need to return to Boston. That single thought made her sick in her stomach and she dismissed the thought instantly. She was supposed to be happy now.

Taking a deep breath, she smiled. She need to do it. Gathering her belongings, Michaela made sure she didn't forget anything and started to make herself ready to leave for the hospital. She only hoped there won't be any emergencies and she needed to stay. But she wouldn't think about that now. Everything will be alright. The adventure was waiting for her! But most of all, she would finally meet him!

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"You think that is such a good idea, David?" William asked his friend, watching skeptical as he packed his last belongings in his travel bag. David looked nothing like he used to. His face was pale and he had lost a lot of weight over the last year. On his left eye David was almost blind and was wearing a black eye patch that covered the painful memories.

"Are you listening to me?" William tried again, this time his voiced showed more concern and determination to get an answer.

Never looking up, David was still busy and worked nervously with the zippers of his bag.

William took a few steps towards his friend and leaned against the wall with his shoulder. His weight was on his right leg, placing his left loosely over it. He crossed his arms and started in the empty expression of his longtime childhood friend.

"She won't be thrilled to see you again, David. It will be a mistake to just show up there. The moment she will see you, she knows it can't be a coincident. You really wanna risk that? You have been following her ever since you came out of the hospital. She will never forgive you."

That seemed to be the trick to get David out of his shell. He stopped his movements quite quickly and slammed his bag on the floor. This time, William could see a different in his face. Anger.

Looking back at William, David stated. "She did a mistake in just dropping me like this." With his index finger he pointed at his friend, his eye squeezing tight. "She should have been at my side and helped me through it but instead she left me." David fletched his teeth, boiling over with rage. "I can't forget about her William. I need to try it," David said under his breath. "This will be the perfect opportunity to be alone with her, away from her family, away from everything. I can't let it slip away. Not now."

William was shocked. His friend had changed completely. He knew it will be a big mistake but could do nothing about it. He had tried several times to convince him to forget about her and start a new life but had failed every time. Maybe Michaela could open his eyes. Apparently, he was not able to help him. And to his relieve, William knew they won't be alone. The tour was completely booked and other people would be around them. David would never consider to do something stupid, again. He just could hope.

"Do what you want. I am outta here, "William said, raising his hands pejoratively and moved past him.

Opening the door, William stepped outside, still holding the handle he turned his head back to David.

"Just don't do something stupid again." With that, he slammed the door shut and left David alone.

David didn't even turn around. He took his bag by the handles, took the keys from his car and switched off the lights. On his way towards the door, he looked at his key chain. She was smiling up at him as he was studying the picture again. She was perfect. Squeezing it tight, he remembered the time they had gone to the photo studio together. It had been one of the perfect days for him. Just before….

"No. Think only about the good things," David said to himself. "Only good things," he repeated in a whisper.

David inhaled deeply. It was now or never.

Thanks for reading!!