Disclaimer: Do I look like Rumiko Takahashi? Didn't think so.

a/n: Hey, there! My very firs fic in English! Weird. Please, forgive the grammar/spelling mistakes. It's kinda short, but I actually liked. A bit. I mean, I liked writing it. I hope you like reading it.

I took the title from Tori Amos' song, Spark.

Giving Judas a Try

So now you're five and life is simple.

It's all about ice cream and grandpa's stories about magic and spinning until you fall down and laughing so hard your sides hurt. Sometimes there's a bruised knee and some tears, but you quickly forget the pain as mama kisses the horrible wound (blood and all. She only cares about getting you better. It's all about making you happy).

Life is simple and Fate hasn't looked at you twice.

So life is good. You know it as only a five-year-old could know perfection.

So now you're eight and Papa is gone.

Gone. Gone. You couldn't quite grasp what that meant. Did it mean he wouldn't be able to tell you bedtime stories anymore? And that he wouldn't take you to the movies every Thursday night? That he wouldn't laugh and kiss your cheek when you asked the silliest questions?

Did it mean Mama would look broken and lonely forever?

And that was it. Fate entered your life. And you didn't even notice.

So now you're fifteen and you go down a well.

You go to the other side and you see demons and priestesses and magic and you think about grandpa and laughs at the irony of it all.

And you meet a boy with dog ears and tragedy in his eyes and you would never admit it but you love him right away. And you knew. You knew it could never be any other way. It was Fate.

Fate was cruel, though. So your soul was torn in two and both parts were fated to love him and he was fated to love both. That's when Fate became your villain. Because it made you love him with all your being, but he could never love you back quite the same way. Part of him would always be hers.

And there's a jewel. It looks so innocent and even pure and you would never have guessed how much sorrow it would bring. And you hate it. You hate it almost as much as you love the boy with dog years. But it's your responsibility, you have to make things right again because it's was Fate and it wouldn't have it any other way.

And now there's a little fox child that calls you 'Mama' and has seen much more than any child should ever see. And you love him, because you're his mother and you want to be good in something and you thought that maybe you could be a good mommy. And for once Fate has nothing to do with it. It was your choice and your choice only. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

And then there's a cursed monk with wise eyes and easy smiles that make you want to smile back. And he's beautiful and tragic as he goes through Life pretending that he's not scared, but you know better. And you look at him with knowing eyes and he just smiles and looks away because he knows that if he lets you in too much you would see much more than you would like to. And you wonder if Fate has anything to do with this.

And there's a broken slayer that you swear that is much more ancient than she looks. An old soul, you mother would say. A tormented soul, you would say. And not for the first time you would wonder if Fate could be so cruel.

And you all go looking for the shards of the Jewel because you all believe that it'll make things right again. Sometimes you forget that the Jewel could only grant one wish.

Sometimes you wish Mama could kiss it all better. Sometimes you wish it was all about you and making you happy.

But Fate hates you.

And you hate it right back.